“88” Is 88 Minutes Too Long

I was the perfect audience for this movie. I’ve loved Katharine Isabelle in Being Human and Hannibal; she’s an actress who routinely subverts expectations based off her diminutive stature and friendly small-town waitress good looks to play angry, damaged and dangerous women. On the surface, her role as Gwen in … Get hard

“Magician: The Astonishing Life and Work of Orson Welles” Only Scratches The Surface Of A Perplexing Cinematic God

It’s impossible to capture a fraction of the enigmatic filmmaker Orson Welles in 900 minutes, let alone 90 minutes, but Chuck Workman’s documentary attempts to do just that, boiling his life and career into five chapters (1915-1941: The Boy Wonder, 1942-1949: The Outsider, 1950-1957: The Gypsy, 1958 to 1966: The … Get hard

“Pioneer” Is A Queasy-Great Norwegian Take On A 1970’s Political Thriller

In the 1970’s, oil was discovered in the North Sea off the shore of Norway. It was a potential goldmine…but the oil was in such deep waters that it required state of the art technology for divers to even survive being down there. The Americans were, of course, happy to help … Get hard

Out Now: “Antarctica: A Year On Ice,” A Dreamy Glimpse Into What’s Left of Earth’s Innocence

You’ve already sobbed through Big Hero 6. You’ve already seen Mockingjay or Interstellar, or were scared away by middling reviews. You still want to go to the theaters, to escape family or whatever awful thing is happening in the news this week. I recommend searching out Anthony Powell’s Antarctica: A Year On Ice, an absolutely beautiful documentary … Get hard

“The Mule” Is The Best Movie About Constipation Ever Made

Well, except for this Czech Activia ad or this French Dulcolax spot, but it’s just as uncomfortable. And it’s 100 minutes long, rather than a 30 second commercial. Unless you love poop dramas, you’re checking out The Mule for its cast, a fun mix of Australian’s finest. You’re coming to see John Noble crunch dialogue … Get hard

Gillian Jacobs & Leighton Meester Shine In Painfully Real & Awkward “Life Partners”

In many ways, it’s comforting and exciting that Life Partners exists: a genuinely funny comedy about two female friends that doesn’t involve a wedding or fighting over guys. Plus, it’s a smorgasbord of incredible talent, with Community’s Gillian Jacobs and Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester possessing a stranglehold on the two leads, … Get hard

Even in Daft Punk-Era France, EDM Isn’t An ‘Eden,’ But Mia Hansen-Løve’s Movie Is

I *gasp* like EDM. I actually listen to it while writing, because its synthbeats are familiar, and its lack of lyrics are less distracting (I’m less likely to sing along to Knife Party than T-Swift). Before I left Seattle for LA, I was a bystander to the rave scene, finding … Get hard

Timothy Spall Shines In “Mr. Turner,” A Two And A Half Hour Ode to Human Flatulence

Every couple years, director Mike Leigh (Another Year; Vera Drake) delivers a delightfully British drama, oftentimes mined from history (Topsy-Turvy). This year brings Mr. Turner, a dour biopic illuminating the life of Joseph Mallard William Turner, one of the finest landscape painters (with a nautical obsession; Orlando Bloom’s character name … Get hard

No More Miyazaki? No Problem: Enchanting Irish Folklore Tale “Song of the Sea” Is Beacon Of Hope

Do you ever stumble upon a movie at exactly the right point in your life, like you were fated to fall in love with this heretofore unforeseen discovery on this particular day? I had that exact experience with Song of the Sea, the kind of Serendipity that doesn’t star Kate Beckinsale. Going … Get hard

“The Babadook” Is The Scariest (And One of the Best) Movies You’ll See All Year

Halloween has arrived, and it’s a shame that the Babadook likely won’t be haunting your dreams. Yet. Hell, maybe consider yourself lucky The Babadook won’t be released until November 28th stateside. You might not be ready. When it does, the critical darling (a phrase rarely trotted out for horror fare) whose performance … Get hard