Before I get to the good stuff, let’s get to my predictions for…

THE SIX WORST SCI-FI/FANTASY MOVIES OF 2015

Paddington

Jupiter Ascending: It was delayed from last summer to the much ballyhooed February 6th weekend spot. It looks more nonsensical than Transformers, and will likely require hallucinogenic drugs to enjoy or “get.”

Seventh Son: Is there a weirder movie weekend than February 6th? Jeff Bridges was becoming Rooster Cogburn for good at my first San Diego Comic-Con in 2013 promoting THIS movie, which was supposed to come out sometime in 2014. Like Jupiter Ascending, it was plopped to February 6th, providing ample fodder for an acid fueled trip to the movies.

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water: This was also close to making the top 10 most anticipated.

Minions: FUCK THE MINIONS. I said it (if you never hear from me again, you know why). Despicable Me was great. Despicable Me 2 was less great, in main part because it relied too heavily on the Minions, a one-note kiddie terror. Kids will love it, and this will likely gross more money than any other movie not named Avengers or Star Wars, but to me, it’s just gross.

Pan

BEST GUILTY PLEASURE

San Andreas. The Rock in a disaster movie destroying my current home? Delicious.

HONORABLE MENTION

The Ethan Hawke Two-fer: 1) Predestination, a time travel mindfuck based on a Heinlein short story and…2) Regression, a movie where Hawke may have molested Emma Watson, who is also his daughter. Ethan Hawke is fascinating, guys.

The Martian: Andy Weir’s highly praised sci-fi novel was one of the first purchases I made with the requisite Amazon gift cards this New Year, and I’m excited to read it. I hear phenomenal things. Unfortunately, the movie adaptation is directed by Ridley Scott, so it doesn’t deserve a place anywhere near the top 10. But the cast is RIDICULOUS: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kirsten Wiig, Sebastian Stan, Kate Mara, Chiwetal Ejiofor, Sean Bean, Mackenzie Davis, Jeff Daniels, Michael Pena AND Donald Glover. Holy hell.

Kingsmen: I honestly think this movie looks crappy, but someone I respect mentioned it might do what the original Kick-Ass did for superhero movies, for spies, and that made me start to consider the possibility (it’s similarly adapted from a Mark Millar comic book). Plus, Samuel L. Jackson’s villainy looks hilarious, and I think it might be a lot of mindless fun.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2: I hate when movie titles make me have two semi colons in one line. Honestly, it could very well be the best of all four movies, and I still enjoyed Part 1 despite its obvious flaws…but like The Hobbit, I’ve reached fatigue on these movies. Which is probably sacrilegious since it stars my #1 grrl. I’ll totally see it, but it’s just not up there anticipated wise.

Spectre: This one is gonna get me the most flak (I correctly predicted that David would rank it #3). I like a return to Bond’s roots with Blofeld and whatnot…but I’m just more interested to see new movies, unless it’s Marvel or Star Wars, because I’m a hypocrite. Christoph Waltz will probably get a Supporting Actor nomination, and win, because THAT’S ALL HE DOES. With the massive exception of Big Eyes, where he’s spectacularly miscast.

SLEEPERS

What We Do In The Shadows: This killed at AFI Fest and I’m bummed I missed it, but a horror mockumentary following 3 vampires and starring the Flight of the Conchords folks sounds more than promising.

Spring: A horror romance defying genre classification directed by Ridley Scott’s interns? Perfect sleeper choice. Anything for some Ridley Scott comeuppance.

It Follows: Strange sexual encounters + insane buzz = intrigue. Indie horror movies were the realm of some of the very best movies of any genre in 2014 (The Babadook, Starry Eyes, Housebound, A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, and…Mr. Turner), so I’m all in this year.

White God: Um. Look no further than this mindblowing premise…

A young girl is separated from her dog, who searches the city for his lost owner — but when that fails, the dog leads an army of other abandoned dogs, in a canine uprising to kill all the humans.

Yup. Have you ever wondered what Homeward Bound would’ve looked as a horror movie? It’s apparently Birds but with dogs. It’s Cujo times infinity. 

Ex Machina: Alex Garland wrote Dredd, which rocked, and I love Domnhall Gleeson.

The Moon and the Sun: a sci-fi/historical romance movie starring Pierce Brosnan and William Hurt? Hott.

Krampus: FUCK YEAH. Michael Dougherty is the writer/director, and Trick ‘r Treat was one of the most fun horror movies I’ve ever seen. This has instant classic written all over it.

Kitchen Sink: A comedy about monsters that likely skewers Hollywood’s obsession with them, that stars Bob Odenkirk, Patton Oswalt and Keegan-Michael Key. Yee.

After writing this section, I’m probably more excited for these than 80% of my top 10 because I have no idea what to expect from them. Honestly, after the top 2 of 2015, you could rank ANY of these other movies after it and that would receive little argument from me, the gap is so large.

THE WILD CARDS

Victor Frankenstein: James McAvoy as Victor and Daniel Radcliffe as Hugo. I’m in, even if it could be Dracula Untold for Frank. I just love post-HP Daniel Radcliffe and the decisions he’s made with his career.

Fantastic Four: This is another one destined for the Worst List, a likely Green Lantern style disaster, especially if one iota of what we’ve heard is true. But…I want to believe otherwise, somehow. Because FF SHOULD BE SO GOOD GODDAMMIT.

THE TOP TEN

10. Pixels: This could also be on the worst list by years end, but I love the concept of aliens using 80’s video games to declare war on Earth. I’ve avoided Adam Sandler for years, but this seems right, and Peter Dinklage’s mullet also stars. Kevin James as the President might actually work for this movie. It sounds like a live action Lego Movie/Wreck-It Ralph in terms of its concept, and I love that, even if it makes no sense.

9. The Good Dinosaur: I originally cheated and had combined Pixar’s two films this year. This is going to be the year of the dinosaur and I can’t wait. This will be Land Before Time for a new generation.

8. Ant-Man: Everyone’s worries about Ant-Man are valid. I’m not as insulted about the silly/massive/maybe awful changes to the character, so long as it works for the movie/MCU. I’m mostly worried about the downgrade from Edgar Wright to Peyton Reed. But Marvel hasn’t severely fucked up yet…and while this certainly could be its worst (saving Iron Man 2 from that unfortunate title), it’s going to take a lot for me to dislike Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly. Plus, I have to admit, I have an awful fascination with this movie, even if the first half of the trailer seemed as if Scott Lang was…Sandman.

7. Inside Out: This will win the Best Animated Oscar, completing the Pixar bounce back. I look forward to crying during both this and The Good Dinosaur.

6. Crimson Peak: I’m psyched to see del Toro return to his horror/supernatural roots, and think this has Pan’s Labyrinth like upside. Plus: Charlie Hunnam, Jessica Chastain and Tom Hiddleston is an acting trifecta that rivals any other movie cast’s this year.

5. Jurassic World: When David first saw the trailer, he commented on how Chris Pratt seemed so…non-Chris Pratty. Meaning: humorless, stoic, and not anywhere close to the above mash-up (which if it were real, would be #3 on this list). At first I thought nothing of it, but the more times I’ve seen the trailer, I actually kind of am leaning toward the assessment that maybe Chris Pratt will be neutered in the film. But that just seems so stupid for the studios to do, after what Pratt proved in 2014. He’ll likely be veering more on the action side than comedy, but I’m of the opinion that Chris Pratt can do no wrong until I see otherwise, and he’s clearly built like an action star. Plus, it stars Jake Johnson in the Jeff Goldblum role (I made that up). Also, Judy Greer has never been in a bad movie (surely not true, but it can’t be disproved).

4. Tomorrowland: You know, I really liked the teaser, and have been crushing on Britt Robertson since The First Time. Yes, it’s based on a ride and is another glaring example of Disney synergy trumping new ideas, BUT it’s directed by Brad Bird, and is written by Damon Lindelof, Bird and Jeff Jensen, one of my favorite EW writers/nerds. George doesn’t hurt. Hey, it’s Judy Greer!

3. Mad Max: Fury Road: It looks so bat-shit and SO SO gorgeous. I’m not a massive fan of the originals, but I have seen them all, and this could be the Interstellar of this year, whatever that means (okay, The Martian looks like this year’s Interstellar). For some reason that has me excited.

I don’t think any commentary needs to be made for these two. They top the list in a landslide:

2. Avengers: The Age of Ultron

1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Over the last week, we’ve been reminiscing about the first X-MEN, what became of the franchise from there, and the importance of the X-MEN comic books. The X-MEN movie and comic franchise

Sira delivered her immediate thoughts on X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST last week. Now it’s mine and David’s turn to chat about Bryan Singer’s latest tale of mutant woe, touching on a variety of topics.

Beware, this be as SPOILER-FILLED as X-MEN has continuity holes.

Overall Impressions

David: I was a very big fan of the movie. I thought it hit so many of the right notes, capturing both the bleakness of the future timeline and the urgency of the past. I didn’t like how the plot did some aggressive hand waving to get past the “how” of this time travel occurs — especially since giving Kitty these vague powers was such a departure from, well, any talent Kitty has ever displayed in any medium. But it didn’t impair my overall enjoyment; the mechanics were secondary to the characters themselves, and those were nailed better than perhaps any X-movie ever has.

Andy: I don’t know what it is, because I know Days of Future Past is probably the best X-Men movie to date, but something felt off. Maybe it’s because I had to sit in the front row, or maybe it’s because I’m never truly happy or satisfied. Maybe because it made all other X-movies obsolete. More on that later, but I will say that this felt more like an X-MEN movie than perhaps any of them to date, that Singer managed to juggle two franchises and very nearly tied them together into a bow. The movie had no downtime, was thrilling throughout, and felt epic without necessitating endless scenes of destruction porn normally accompanying such a grand scale in a Hollywood blockbuster.

Thoughts on retconning the entire original trilogy

David: I think I liked it. The various continuity errors that the cinematic X-universe has suffered (and there were many) were never super important to me; I just wanted good stories that made sense within that film; even if, for instance, Charles met Erik a little later in life in First Class than he had said in X-Men. But I still respected the effort this movie made to resolve it all. Most studios wouldn’t have given a shit if there was internal consistency throughout the movies, so at least trying is something I respect, even if I didn’t think it was necessary. And I will still enjoy watching X-Men and X2 even if they officially “never happened”; I might even rest a little easier knowing X3 didn’t.

Andy: It rubbed me the wrong way, even if it’s for the best, and I knew it was coming. It seemed pretty clear that the Days of Future Past time travel element would be used to create a new present and re-write whatever FOX and Brett Ratner did in X3, but I don’t know if I was prepared for how completely they did. The retcon’s execution felt perfectly in the realm of what Marvel would do, and has done, with X-MEN and their characters, so really, it’s one of the most comic book-y things that the franchise has ever done. And by doing so, FOX now has possibly two X-Men franchises going concurrently, with the past-Men starting the X-Men and the school and because the future has changed, a chance to redo the Phoenix Saga (in a way in which Jean survives), and meet a younger Storm (Lupita Nyong’o!), Jean Grey and Scott Summers that have emotional depth and dimension. And the future-men can do whatever the hell we want, should they so choose, giving a chance for Wolverine to lead Iceman, Shadowcat, Colossus, Rogue, Blink, Sunspot, Bishop, Warpath, and whomever to have their moments. I’m happy that X-MEN: THE LAST STAND never happened, but was it so bad that it needed to wipe away every other movie, including The Wolverine, which aside from a crappy ending, was actually a pretty good flick precisely because of the effect Jean Grey’s death had on Logan? In many ways, X-Men was one of the more important movies of my childhood (and in Hollywood history), and now, for all intents and purposes, it doesn’t really exist anymore.

Wolverine’s Expanded Role

David: I was among those who complained a little after the first X-Men that Wolverine had too large of a role at the expense of the rest of the team. But I’ve long since gotten over it. As Andy pointed out in his Autobiography in Movies, Hugh Jackman as Logan was one of the greatest, most inspired casting moves in superhero movie history. And we’re running out of chances to see him nail that role, so why not just accept and enjoy it? Besides, more so than in X-Men, I thought they balanced the movie with plenty of great moments for the supporting cast. There was only one thing that made me regret that Wolvy was the one sent back in time, which I’ll discuss later.

Andy: It would’ve been nice if Kitty could’ve somehow come along for the ride with Wolverine (because if we’re inventing powers, that would’ve been more fun), but since they hadn’t established much of a relationship at all in the movies, that might not have worked. But it could’ve mirrored the relationship between Rogue and Wolverine in the first X-MEN. If Rogue wasn’t so clearly out of the question for many reasons (she’s cured/sucks/it makes no sense), I might’ve wanted to see her make the trip with Wolvy, because their relationship was one of the best and most realistic things we saw in the original trilogy. Anyways, I don’t have any problem with Wolverine being the central focus of the action. That’s just how it’s going to be, and Wolverine is the most fully formed character the entire franchise has, thanks to Hugh Jackman being one of the few consistent elements. It would’ve been supremely effective/badass for him to have died as David mentions. At least him being forced to carry the burden of this alternate future, while not knowing the new past/present, is something that totally fits into the tragic element of Wolverine’s character. Of course Jean Grey is back…and of course Scott Summers is still in the way.

Favorite Character (Major)

David: Magneto, 1973 version. A few ways I could go there, as this was such an incredible, deep cast of actors who nailed their roles. But for the second time, Michael Fassbender just destroyed that role. I don’t think any superhero movie villain has ever so perfectly hit the note of destructive actions while believing himself to be acting justly. Meaning, in short, he WAS Magneto, making us *feel* why he’s one of the best villains in comics history.

Andy: I don’t want to be redundant, because Fassbender’s Magneto is the answer. In what might be the best cast ever, Fassbender delivers the best performance by far (I love that he altered his voice slightly knowing McKellan would be in the film). His decisions are infuriating, maddening and insane, but it’s so Magneto, and so scary to behold, because there’s no greater threat, even next to Sentinels that have wiped out the mutant race in the future. I will say that James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart’s Professor X had more synergy and impact together than the two Magneto’s, not only because they shared a scene together, but I felt like I was witnessing their journey. We didn’t really get to see enough of Ian McKellan’s older Magneto, beyond him watching Kitty Pryde at work (thrilling). I loved his sad and heroic death scene, and his final words regretting his actions…but I don’t know if they quite had the impact that I wanted them too, because I felt a slight disconnect between the two versions of the characters, or didn’t quite believe the transformation, since we hadn’t seen any evidence of it before his last moments.

Favorite Character (Minor)

David: A lot of fans are going Quicksilver here, and not without reason; they nailed him. But I have to say my girl BLINK. Honestly, I had forgotten how much I loved that character until I saw her in live action for the first time. Chinese actress Bingbing Fan had the perfect look, and her action scenes were visually stunning and thrilling.

Andy: Storm! Just kidding. I will go with PietroPeter/Quicksilver in lieu of other options. Most of the other secondary characters just sort of exist and look pretty, or are walking plot devices (Kitty Pryde), but Quicksilver stole the show for the brief few scenes he was in, and gave the festivities much needed brevity (“My Mom knew a guy who could control metal” was simultaneously the best and worst line of the entire movie). I will say that once they found Quicksilver and got him to help…it made no sense not to use him to do everything else in the movie. But I get why that’s not how it worked out, because it would’ve been far easier that way, and all urgency/tension would’ve dissipated. I expect a X-Men: Days of Future Past in the eyes of Quicksilver parody at some point.

Least Favorite Character (Minor)

Andy: Ink, because yes, he was in this movie (and he apparently exists), as the pale white bald dude with what looked like a Phoenix tattoo on his eye. Or it’d be Colossus, because he still looks super fake, and still never gets lines. Plus, I want this to happen at least once.

David: Havok. Not that his 17 seconds of screen time in this movie had anything wrong, but they reminded me how much I disliked him in First Class. The reason I didn’t like First Class as much as a lot of people is because I thought the supporting characters were almost all awful, and I didn’t love seeing any reminder of that.

New Characters

Andy: While Blink was one of the most perfect translations from comic book to movie in terms of appearance and visuals (the portals were glorious), and Bishop was also high up there in those respects, the new mutants (Blink, Bishop, Sunspot and Warpath) were essentially CGI set dressing. Did Sunspot even have a line? They were there to die spectacularly at the beginning and the end. They looked beautiful in doing so, and I honestly have no real problem with it, since the movie was overstuffed as is, but I think it’s still the symptom of what doomed the X-MEN franchise in the first place. It’s so hard to say no to all the mutants, because there are so many awesome ones we want to see, but the impact is lost, or the result is several two dimensional mutants.

David: I can’t really think of any new characters I particularly disliked, or at least any significant ones (Ink was dumb, as you said, but he didn’t matter enough for me to care). I loved the New Mutants group in the future. They may not have been three-dimensional characters, but they weren’t needed/intended to be anything other than awesome action additions. And they looked GREAT. I don’t think the X-movies failings were ever about using too many characters. I think it was always as simple as losing the story at times or relying on two-dimensional characters to be something they weren’t. This movie balanced that better than any of the others by a decent margin.

Biggest Complaint

David: Honestly, it’s fairly minor complaints for me, but there were two things missing from this movie that really would have kicked it up to 11 for me. One would have been a shot in the future of the infamous wall of mutant targets from the cover of X-Men #141 (above), the first part of “Days of Future Past.” Given that it might be the most homaged cover in comics history, I was disappointed it didn’t make it in the movie. Two, the downside of having Wolverine be the one to go back in time, with him waking up in the future being the end of the time travel, was that we didn’t get the most breath-taking moment of the comics story: his death by incineration by a Sentinel. The future deaths we did get were still incredible, but I think that one would have brought the house down.

Andy: The plot was heavy-handed and ridiculous (Kitty’s powers), but I got most of the reasoning behind the choices. 1973 Xavier couldn’t have his powers, because it would’ve been all too easy for him to stop Mystique, Trask or Magneto before the threat ever got out of hand/Magneto got his helmet. The handy serum from Beast didn’t make a ton of sense, but whatever, I dug the drug addiction parallels, and I liked that Xavier was sacrificing his gifts to walk again. It’s such an incredulous decision, but it shows how damaged and withdrawn he’s become.

The Stryker addition was very effective if only for the Wolverine scene and the ending with Mystique, but his involvement with the franchise is so confusing at this point, that I had no idea why he was there, why he was so anti-mutant, etc. We know his motivations have to do with his son, and it also doesn’t really matter in the scheme of Days of Future Past, but I kinda just am over Stryker.

I LOVED everything we got with Jennifer Lawrence and Mystique…and think she’s done wonders in this role. I get that she’s the female Wolverine/Hugh Jackman, in that Mystique has become a huge character because an Oscar winning global phenomenon plays her, but Singer and company have done such a great job of justifying why. It makes so much sense that her DNA is what was used to make the Sentinels so damn formidable (although I guess Morph’s DNA would’ve been more apt), and she was the assassin who killed Senator Kelly in the comics and propelled the alternate future forward. I hated how Xavier treats Mystique in the first film; he deserved to be abandoned, because he treated Raven like a child and lumped her with Havok, Angel and the rest, despite Xavier GROWING UP WITH HER. The second film serves up some retribution to Xavier, while he also finally realizes how big of a dick he was. I love how mercurial Mystique is, that she’s not Magneto’s sex slave or #2, that she’s on her own, with her own motives, making her own decisions, and how dangerous they’ve made her, even as an misunderstood anti-hero. BUT, and this is where the complaint comes in: while Mystique is such an important character in this movie, we get that from Xavier and Magneto’s perspective, and not really her own. Perhaps that’s due to the nature of her powers. After all, it’s really hard to get scenes from her POV; even when she’s the central focus, she primarily looks like someone else. The Magneto/Xavier relationship dynamic is the boon of First Class and this film, and the explosive addition of Mystique into that triangle is brilliant/interesting, especially since she’s not merely a love interest…but I don’t know if her character really stands on her own. We see everyone trying to reach her, trying to get her to do things, and never really get inside her head, or get a moment to see her for who she really is. That’s the mystique of her character, I suppose, but I also think more screen time and focus on her character could’ve made it incredible, and give her heroic choice at the end even more emotional resonance.

Where does the film rank in the X-Men franchise canon?

David: It’s close between X2 and Days of Future Past, and I’ll need to see the latter more than once to say it definitively, but right now, I’m going with Days of Future Past as the best one of all. It so captured the desperation of the X-Men when they’re at their best, the darkness of that world and the greatness of its characters.

Andy: TBD. It could be anywhere from #1 or #4. I don’t even know how I’d rank the other films beside it, but I’m thinking I’d rank it #2 after X2.

How about that post-credits scene?

David: Given that we already knew the title of the next movie is X-Men: Apocalypse, it shouldn’t have had so much effect on me, but my god did it get me excited. Apocalypse, despite some missteps in stories over the years, is still my second-favorite X-villain, and I just cannot freaking wait to see him in action. I thought it was smart to show him as a boy (though he was older in the comics when he came into his own) so we could get a glimpse at our Big Bad while still leaving the real casting open.

Andy: I loved this. It looked rushed CGI-wise, but hearing the En Sabuh Nur chant, and seeing the four horsemen, got me tingly. Before it happened, I joked that perhaps it’d end like Avengers, with a blue guy the general public doesn’t know grinning to the camera. I would’ve laughed, but thankfully that didn’t happen. I can’t wait to see the Apocalypse story set in the 1980’s, and whatever my thoughts on Days of Future Past, there’s no denying that the X-franchise is in as good a position as it’s been since after the first movie. Most of the baggage is jettisoned, and now creativity (and hopefully characterization) can flow. Of course, given the bright X-future we’ve seen and knowing Apocalypse takes place in the 80’s, does that lessen the stakes?

Four Horseman of the Apocalypse Predictions

Andy: Four of the following: Archangel, Mystique, Mr. Sinister, Dark Beast, Banshee (I don’t think we saw his death certificate in Trask’s lair), Havok, Psylocke, Caliban and Domino, in order of likelihood. As long as Toad is nowhere near the running. Hell, maybe young Storm, Jean and Scott will make up three quarters of it (and maybe we’ll figure out how Havok exists). It’d be a helluva way to introduce them.

David: When Apocalypse debuted in the 1980s in X-Factor, he just had four original horsemen without using any prior characters. I think trying to get four “name” horsemen might make things too crowded, or cause the impact to be lessened when Apocalypse does try/force one X-Men to become a Horseman. So I predict we get three generics, with an X-Man becoming Death. And that X-Man will be…well, probably Wolverine, since Jackman is softening on the next Wolvy movie being his last appearance as the character.

Mutant You Most Want to See

Andy: Cable?

David: In order: Young Storm, Mister Sinister, Cable, Shadow King, Nightcrawler (somehow)

Andy: We need a Storm spin-off (again, starring Lupita) in which she takes on Calypso and the Morlocks. Mostly because of that mohawk.

I have so many thoughts on Bryan Singers’ long awaited third installment of the X-Men franchise. Most of these thoughts are fangirling because it finally came into theatres, but there’s a few good thoughts that are actually coherent opinions, so we’ll see how far we get into those before fanbrain takes over. DAYS OF FUTURE PAST took us from a dystopian future where the Sentinels have all but destroyed both mutants and their human allies back to 1973, ten years after the events of FIRST CLASS. James McAvoy’s Xavier takes a serum that helps him walk but blocks his telepathy, Magneto (Michael Fassbender) is locked in a cement prison beneath the pentagon, and young Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) has gone rogue and is helping mutants escape the clutches of Tyrion—I mean  Trask—I mean Peter Dinklage?—with the intention of murdering him to stop his murder of the mutant race. (Because an eye for an eye is really the best way of solving everything, didn’t you know?) With a glimpse into the future of Sentinels that can evolve and adapt to any mutant power rendering them nearly unstoppable, Future Xavier and Magneto hatch a plan to send Xavier’s consciousness back in time to help change the past and prevent Mystique from murdering Trask and thus putting the sentinel program into overdrive. (It really does take effort to type “Trask” and not “Tyrion.”) However, apparently Logan’s ability to heal makes him the only one physically capable of making the trip (his brain can heal itself when fractured by his future consciousness taking over for his past consciousnss. LOL WAT?) so little Kitty Pryde (a non-monotonous Ellen Page!) uses Rachel Summer’s powers (not sure how she got those) to send Wolvie back to the past (that must have been writer Simon Kinberg’s apology. “Well, we have to send Wolverine back because he’s Wolverine, so let’s change Pryde’s power and storyline and instead of sending her back, let’s just give her the power to send him! Problem solved!”)

Once there, Jimmy/Logan/Wolverine hunts down Xavier who’s wallowing in self-pity and, I’m sure, a quite ripe-smelling mansion while Nicholas Hoult’s Beast takes care of [and coddles] him in his misery. Yadda, yadda, yadda, the plot progresses, fights happen, CGI, speeches, Magneto being a general boss, and J-Law speaking a variety of languages. Here are my high’s and low’s. High: My boo Joss Whedon once said, “Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.” And oh boy, did Singer and Kinberg nail this one. DOFP was full of emotionally charged characters, all with their own personal stakes in the game, (and the entire future of the mutant race); the film was darker than you might have realized, and almost uncomfortably intimate, but then every so often there was a look, or a joke, or a scene (Quicksilver, I’m looking at you!) that would make you belly laugh. High: And speaking of intimacy, what a nice change from all the world-is-ending-save-New-York-from-the-alien-invasion-oh-no-there-goes-half-the-city! Yes, ok, there may or may not have been some structural damage to the White House, but this film was not about taking over the planet, or destroying the human race: it was about saving the mutant race and the targets were a small, specific group of men – not an entire city or country. The big action battle at the climax of the film took place in the future, while the emotional struggle of how to prevent that future was the focus of the past. Low: Mystique was kinda boring. Aside from kick-ass action sequences (Mystique’s fight scenes have always been fab; the way they bring her stealth-ninja prowess to life continues to astound me), she was just not very interesting in this film. She had one purpose, one goal, and her personal conflict was not presented in such a way that you really felt for her and understood why she was being so ruthless. I mean, you definitely got it (especially when she was going through the research files and we caught a glimpse of her pain and anger) but her turmoil was overlooked and surpassed by everything else that was going on. Had Logan been given less emphasis and Mystique been given a little more, I might have felt a whole lot better about her presence and she may have been more than just a naked J-Law in blue body paint. High: The mutants of the future were so wonderful to see on-screen. Blink, Warpath, Sunspot and Bishop (Bingbing Fan, Booboo Stewart, Adan Canto and Omar Sy, respectively) were so well developed in terms of power-presentation. The FX felt remarkably natural and organic to the story and characters and it left you wanting nothing…except for them to have more screen-time. Low: Some of the other CGI needed some love. In particular, Mystique’s shape-shifting FX and the green-screen were shoddily done in more than one scene, and it unfortunately took me out of the story. High: Young Stryker. Getting to witness the beginning of Stryker’s involvement with the mutant phenomenon was surprisingly pleasant, but you never really knew where he was at emotionally. Low: Young Stryker…was surprisingly pleasant, but you never really knew where he was at emotionally. The movie-verse never established how old his son Jason (wannabe-Mastermind) was when he developed his powers, but DOFP specified that Jason was eight years old in 1973 so we can assume he is still perceived as human. Maybe it was a reflection of Josh Helman’s acting, or maybe I’m totally wrong about Jason “still being human” at eight years old, but there seemed to be times when Stryker was conflicted about Trasks’ plans to destroy mutants. I felt as if there were a few moments when Stryker was ready to object or defend mutants, but those moments were fleeting and ultimately forgotten. High: Two words. Peter. Dinklage. This man, I believe, is one of the great actors of his and our generation. He immerses himself so completely into every character he plays, and he transcends my expectations every time. Be it during Tyrions’ trial (EMMY AWARD PLZ) or during his speech in the Oval Office convincing the President to employ his sentinel program, Dinklage is such a power and presence in every scene he’s in. Low: Xavier’s serum was a little far-fetched for me. It gave him the ability to walk by changing his DNA (Hank’s serum did the same by hiding his blue fuzzies) and it also, coincidentally, blocked his telepathy. Someone, please explain to me, how changing your DNA gives you the ability to walk. Last time I checked, paralysis by gunshot wound was not a product of DNA. Am I wrong, science?

AWESOME.

High: The FX for Beasts’ change were so good. Low: If I have to watch Bobby get his head crushed, Colossus get ripped in half, Magento get a spear to the stomach, or my baby daddy Bishop explode again I’ll throw myself off a bridge. Rip my heart out one more time, assholes. Please. High: Fassbender and McAvoy. They have such charisma and chemistry together, it’s hard not to ship them. They play Magento and Xaviers’ tumultuous relationship to perfection and watching them ignite such a passion and fire of rage, pain, friendship and loss in the other is a gift. Low: Contrary to how I suspect many others might feel I did not enjoy the scene between young Charles and old Charles. There were so many other ways of getting young Xavier to believe in himself again, to believe in the future; it felt contrived to have old Charles impart words of wisdom onto his younger self – that he would the quote not five minutes later. While I loved seeing McAvoy and Stewart on screen together, there had to be another way to give young Charlie the strength to hope again.

High: QUICKSILVER. This dude. Just—damn. This dude. Evan Peters was perfect. Beyond hilarious, he really brought Pietro’s humor to life. While I’m excited to see a potentially darker side of him in MCU’s AGE OF ULTRON (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) next year, Peters was brilliant in what he did. The little nod to Magento being his father was on. Point. Low: The Maximoff TWINS. Apparently the little princess sitting on Peters lap was not Wanda, but if that’s true… Then where was she? High: The end. I almost started crying. Not because I’m such a girl that everyone survived and X3 didn’t happen (although boy is that the best part) but because you got to see the original cast again. Rogue with her gloves on and holding hands with Bobby, Kitty and Colossus teaching a class, Storm (ughhh) alive and well, Beast roaming the halls and fuzzy and dapper, and Jean and Scott in the office with the professor. It was all I wanted to see my cast together and know there was hope for the future. Was DOFP the best X-Men to date? I’m split 50/50. There were things I loved and couldn’t get enough of, but there were also certain things that were too underdeveloped, characters that weren’t given enough screen time, and story aspects that I could do without. Was it the best adapted story thus far? It was pretty interesting, yeah. Did it stray too far from the original DOFP plotline? An argument could be made either way but it was adapted to fit the film universes needs and adapted well, at that. Am I rooting for another X-Men film with the original cast? Always. Do I expect to get one? Not particularly, no because now they’ve been tied up in a neat little bow where everyone survived and got a happy ending. The next few X-Men films will more than likely focus on the events that changed between 1973 and 2000 that created the future we saw at the end of DOFP. Did X-Men and X2 actually happen? X3 sure didn’t (thank god) but I’d said it’s fairly open to interpretation if the original two films happened the way we initially saw, or if their events changed minimally (or possibly majorly). Additional X-Info: X-MEN APOCALYPSE is said to be set in the 1980’s, though it’s always subject to change, and Bryan Singer has for all intents and purposes confirmed that young Storm, Cyclops and Jean Grey will be featured in APOCALYPSE as the beginnings of the X-Men we met back in 2000. Gambit is supposed to fit in there as well but no one really knows how at this point. And yes, I do think Channing Tatum will be a fine Gambit. He’s got the swag, he’s a decent actor (I think he’s not given enough credit and I’m quite excited to see him in upcoming FOXCATCHER) and with the accent down and the right costume he’ll certainly look the part. Here, have some side-by-sides.

If there’s a dark cloud hanging over the sunny festivities of WonderCon, it’s likely the sexual abuse allegations that have been thrown director Bryan Singer’s way. He had been planned to represent his newest film, the epic gigantic crazy mind$#%# X-Men: Days of Future Past, but those were obviously squashed.

But the FOX presentation for X-Men: Days Of Future Past still went on, with writer and X-architect Simon Kinberg there to take his place.

It was a brief panel, but it’s hard not to get excited about this movie, even if it seems destined to either rule or blow up completely.

As Kinberg states, it’s the “biggest collection of X-Men on the screen” and of course, features time travel, something fraught with difficulty. It was, in fact, the trickiest part of the movie, and especially the screenplay (that Kinberg worked on). They wanted to use real science, but if that was the case, they wouldn’t have time travel. They met with physicists, and actually got a big assist from a film time travel guru, one James Cameron, who gave them advice, and scientific evidence to study. According to Kinberg, they were really meticulous with how time travel worked. They set up rules at the very beginning of the movie and stick with them throughout. As long as they do that, I think we’ll all follow. But I don’t think many are going to see DOFP for “realistic” time travel science. They’ll likely be disappointed.

Then, those at the panel were given a taste of the latest trailer, one that no has seen on the big screen until now. Even cooler, we got to see an extended version of the opening battle that has also been introduced online, and we’re the first to see this extended clip.

Again, spoilers.

It doesn’t disappoint, even if it seems crazy spoiler-y. But clearly, with the time travel elements, any deaths or big events can or aim to be rebooted, and especially since they’re showing this scene before the movie hits, all is not what it seems. Essentially, the scene involves the new, future-y Sentinels and the young X-Men, both new and old to the films, from Blink, Sunspot, Shadowcat, Iceman, Colossus, Warpath and Bishop. It doesn’t go well for the group, but we get to see how Blink and Sunspot’s powers will translate to the big screen, and how Iceman and Colossus’ powers have developed since X3. Blink looks super cool, I’ll say, while the others look a bit too heavy CGI/shiny. It ends with almost everyone dead, but Shadowcat and Bishop are able to transport/time travel? away, in the nick of time (“Too late, assholes.”).

Kinberg mentions that “Days of Future Past” was his favorite X-Men story growing up, and also owns up on some past mistakes by the franchise. We “probably should’ve done better with Dark Phoenix, but this is our attempt to make a cool “Days of Future Past.” They are literally going back and righting our wrongs, like the characters.

The mood and colors of the past and future provide rich contrast. The 70′s gives a bright, splashy color palette, while the future is dark and somber.

James McAvoy‘s first day on set was the scenes between him and Patrick Stewart, a daunting task. It was the bridge between the two time periods and cast, and was referred to as the “nose off,” because they were filmed in profile, and it displayed their significant noses.

The discussion turned to Peter Dinklage, as most do these days. He’s playing the villain in the film, Bolivar Trask, the creator of the Sentinels. Kinberg didn’t write with him in mind, but like everybody else, he’s obsessed with Game of Thrones. They needed an actor who could stand up to the big level of actors they have (McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, etc.) Dinklage very quickly became their first and only choice. According to Kinberg, he’s spectacular in the film, and gives gravity and humanity to Trask, “hard to with a villain.” Not a well written one.

The film does indeed have Richard Nixon in it, and not just clips like First Class had of JFK. There are significant scenes between Nixon and mutants, Nixon and Trask, and they posit that the Watergate tapes that went missing had something to do with mutants. Does he hate mutants? It’s not black and white; Nixon is a complicated dude.

Hugh Jackman didn’t get much off time between shooting Wolverine and DOFP, but he actually preferred that, because he didn’t go up and down from his insane diet and workout regimen. Wolverine, of course, was the only guy in both time periods, so he had the most important role in the film. Because Wolverine. Hugh gets to play two versions of the character, as they made Wolverine the character to go back in time, and not Kitty like in the comic books, for a lot of reasons (because Wolverine).

And that, was that. Stunningly, the film is coming out on May 22nd, barely over a month away. Crazy.

For many, the LARP subplot in ROLE MODELS was their first exposure to Live Action Role Playing, a “real life” version of Dungeons & Dragons, getting dice rolling fanatics out into the fresh air. And it not only was rife with hilarity, but made us all want to play it.

Unfortunately, the 20 minutes of ROLE MODELS is miles beyond anything found in KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM. A LARP movie, with a brilliant, nerd friendly cast had tons of potential. It’s unfortunate to see it mostly wasted here.

For hundreds of years, an evil, Necronomicon-like book created by John Dee was thought to be lost forever. Unfortunately for the world, it’s been found, and put into the hands of Level 26 perpetually going on 27 wizard Eric (TREME’s Steve Zahn), who treats it like the gag gift that he thinks it is.

Instead, he summons pure evil into the world during a faux sacrifice with his Live Action Role Playing buddies. Oops.

Speaking of pure evil, girls are the worst. Especially long time H.S. girlfriends unimpressed with the direction, or lack thereof, in your life. Enter “doom” metal rocker Joe (TRUE BLOOD’s Ryan Kwanten), flashing his wares at a mechanic shop, clearly out of his preferred element. It’s the night of the big date with Beth (REVENGE’s Margarita Levieva), and fearing that Joe is planning a proposal (he has penned a song instead), cuts the cord, and dumps him.

Apparently, Joe’s been living a meandering life in a castle, with his “accidental millionaire” brother, the aforementioned Eric.

It’s so jarring and weird to see GAME OF THRONE extraordinaire Peter Dinklage as a character named “Hung” who would say “It’s a sativa, dude,” and acting like one of the idiots, rather than being the cleverest person in the room we’re so accustomed to seeing. This isn’t to say that Dinklage doesn’t pull it off, but it’s unfortunate that he’s not given much material, since he’s clearly brought in to be comic relief and awesome.

When Joe gets home, all mopey from Beth’s probably justified dumping, the pair get him life-threateningly drunk and stoned, and Joe wakes up the next day in the back of Eric’s van, in full armor, on the eve of the Battle of Evermore. He’s resistant to jumping into LARP, but apparently has legendary D&D skills from back in the day (it’s hard to believe Ryan Kwanten has ever not spent a night sleeping with women), and now single with nothing better to do, ultimately relents. From there, we learn the rules, etiquette and point system of LARP, meet the over-bearing game master Ronnie (IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA’s Jimmi Simpson, having more fun than most people in this movie) and in order to make Joe eligible to play, Eric must whip up a spell of transference or something.

Instead, Eric gives the demon a body, in the form of Beth, Joe’s ex-girlfriend who now likes to kill people:

This certainly puts a damper on the Battle of Evermore, as Eric, Joe and company attempt to fend off the villainous Beth with little more than foam swords and fake spells.

Oh, and SUMMER GLAU (FIREFLY, not that you needed this parenthetical). In a movie that has Peter Dinklage, Steve Zahn, Ryan Kwanten, Jimmi Simpson and friggin’ Danny Pudi (who is somehow unlikable as “Lando”), we’re all here to see THE sexy nerd Summer Glau be a badass. She gets that chance too infrequently, even with a +3 endowment (her butt).

What was successful was her reason for playing: her younger brother Gunther (Brett Gipson) has trouble separating LARP from reality, and after a disastrous outing to Medieval Times, Gwen has jumped into his world to protect him. It’s adorable, while a hulking brute who’s never off book is great comedy.

I’ll give KOB this: it certainly establishes the world and its characters quickly, and wasting even less time to escalate. KOB doesn’t tread lightly on his presence, racking up a body count quickly. In fact, it kills off the characters you want to see more of, which is unfortunate.

There are practically limitless opportunities for quirky characters, cameos, speeches and scenes within a fake-but-not-really fake Battle filled with LARP’ers, and blessed with such an awesome cast, it makes KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM a frustrating viewing experience. It certainly has funny moments (it’s impossible to ruin the concept), and a satisfying climax, but mostly, it just left me wanting a do-over.

The Blu-Ray features a “Summer Glau Hottie Montage,” which sounded like it could break the internet should it ever get out. Instead, it was a boring interview inter-cut with scenes from the movie that were sexier the first time. There’s also a Peter Dinklage interview, a Steve Zahn interview and two “Horr-o-medy” featurettes, but like the Glau Montage, clock in at 1-2 minutes a piece. Director Joe Lynch has a 7 minute interview, but the cream of the crop is the San Diego Comic-Con panel, clocking in at 48 minutes, featuring everyone in the cast you’d want to see, save Steve Zahn.

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM is on Blu-Ray today, April 1st, and is just $19.99 on Amazon.