Fan Friction: X-Men, More X-Men, Did I Mention X-Men?

I have just purchased my insanely overpriced movie tickets for a May 22nd 10:30 showing of X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. I am currently re-watching all four seasons of “X-MEN: EVOLUTION” and am [finally] plowing through “WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN” which was apparently cancelled after a mere 26 episodes. After I’ve finished those two, I’ll top it off with a nice, relaxed re-watch of the original 90’s “X-MEN.” I suspect that at this point, lovely reader, you’re gathering the overall theme I’ve got going on here.

I'm on the side of whoever protested making this abomination.

I’m on the side of whoever protested making this abomination.

May 26, 2006 was possibly the worst day of a fan[girl, boy, or other]’s life. May 26, 2006 marked the day that Brett Ratner, Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn put big, flashing, neon, red X’s (how painfully ironic) on their backs with not-so-fine-print that said, “COMIC FANS, PLEASE USE US AS TARGET PRACTICE.” May 26, 2006 was the day I realized that going to jail for manslaughter could become a reality for me.

Take a stand? Bitch took the cure, not a stand.

Take a stand? Bitch took the cure, not a stand.

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND was the worst comic-book movie I’ve ever seen, (yes, worse than DAREDEVIL, ELEKTRA and THE FANTASTIC FOUR combined) for the fact that it took my favorite group of superheroes and absolutely ruined them. The problems I had with that movie could be drawn up, yeah… In a very long, very curse-word-ridden list that would take me probably the rest of my life to complete.


But none of that matters because now there’s DAY OF FUTURE PAST; the light at the end of this horrid tunnel that I thought would never, ever end. I’m not saying that DOFP will be the best movie ever, or even that it’ll be good (though critics do seem to like it overall). What I’m saying is that DOFP will be great because it will eradicate THE LAST STAND and render it obsolete in the X-Men’s cinematic world.

Here we are folks, almost eight years later to the day where we, the fans, are finally getting the X-Men film we deserved.

I just... Wat?

I just… Wat?

I’ll admit that on the one hand it’s quite frightening to think that Mr. Kinberg is trying his pen once again at writing an X-Men film, (he hasn’t done a whole lot of noteworthy stuff since TLS, but is slated as being the writer for THE FANTASTIC FOUR reboot, and the recently announced GAMBIT and X-MEN: APOCALYPSE). Maybe it’s misplaced faith, maybe it’s hope that he’ll do something to redeem himself, maybe it’s just because I’m so excited to see the damn movie but I somehow get the feeling that I won’t be too disappointed in what’s to come. I can’t help but have some confidence in him that he learned his lesson the last time and wouldn’t dare try any more silly antics like changing an entire backstory of a pivotal character, moving the Golden Gate Bridge, or destroying Alcatraz Island. Either that, or Fox Studios really is as dumb as we all thought when they decided to bring this lame-o back on to write the latest X-Men installment. (Which, to be fair, is probably a fairly safe bet to place. Fox really is quite stupid.)

first class

Now, on the flip side of the X3 WAS THE WORST MOVIE EVER OMG WHY coin, most X-Men (and comic fans in general) loved X-MEN: FIRST CLASS. They thought it was a hopeful, interesting story with dynamic new characters who had a range of abilities. I liked it well enough – it was definitely entertaining – but to me it seemed very frivolous and not in a fun, comedic, witty way. While there’s no doubt the casting was wonderful, I couldn’t help but miss our old, more distinguished cast. And please, don’t misunderstand me: when I say distinguished I don’t mean they were better or more important, I mean that there was a darkness to the first two films – both in casting and in storyline – and FIRST CLASS didn’t have that. It felt light and fun and playful when all I really wanted was the weight of what being a mutant was. I wanted a serious X-Men film that felt grown up, and not like kids on a playground. FIRST CLASS was too light, while THE LAST STAND tried so hard to be dark and mysterious that it ended up just being silly.

If it all works out [the way I want it to because my word is law, obviously] DAYS OF FUTURE PAST will be the perfect melding of the minds between the changing world from FIRST CLASS and the tragic future that exists somewhere post-X2 (I’m avoiding reading all spoilers so I have no idea how everything fits together). Either way ya’ll, I’ve waited 8 years, so here’s to waiting yet another week.

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  1. That. Exactly that.

  2. Pingback: Why the X-Men matter - Seven Inches of Your Time

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