Zoot – Seven Inches of Your Time https://seveninchesofyourtime.com Mon, 01 Jan 2018 01:49:45 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.11 “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” Drinking Game https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/monty-python-and-the-holy-grail-drinking-game/ https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/monty-python-and-the-holy-grail-drinking-game/#comments Thu, 14 Aug 2014 01:16:47 +0000 http://seveninchesofyourtime.com/?p=4842 Get hard]]> montypython

For my money, there is not a funnier movie, second by second, scene to scene, than Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There isn’t a more quotable movie, or a more fun one to quote, either. While it’s probably not my favorite movie of all-time, it’s in the top 5, and is one of the best communal movie-going experiences ever.

Thank you John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.

The brilliant quest for the Grail is one of those movies that presents you with a different favorite scene every time you watch it. The touchstone of a great comedy is when you ask people what their favorite scene is, and they all have wildly different answers to that question. That’s the beauty of the Holy Grail, the entire thing is made up of favorite scenes, jokes, and bits. It never drags, even through the brilliant credits (perhaps the best ever).

It’s Nigh impossible to pinpoint a favorite scene. When I first was shown Monty Python and the Holy Grail by my Uncle (who grew up listening to the movie on tape; how many movies can you just listen to and love?), I was most amused by the glee with which a 35 year old man watched it for the hundredth time, quoting every word. But by the second time I watched it, I was quoting it myself (and I’m not one of those people who quotes movies all the time, at least not outside of blog posts), laughing deliriously at the infinite silly, irreverent and timeless gags.

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There’s the Rabbit of Caerbannog. The gay son who doesn’t want land, Father (“I just want to…sing!” STOP THAT), who’s like the spiritual cousin of Hermey the Elf from Rudolph. The stunning refusal of characters to die. The Trojan Bunny. Patsy. Camelot.

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Glorious Patsy.

John Cleese’s taunting French guard. Swallows (“African or European?”). Wicked, bad, naughty Zoot. Shrubberies. Tim the Enchanter. Sir Not Appearing In This Film. The greatest and probably most accurate witch scene ever (“Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?”).

In other words: Everything. Every time you watch it, you discover a new gem you missed the first time (likely because you were laughing during it). Recently, my favorite has become the political scene involving Dennis the Peasant and his Mother (“Well, I didn’t vote for you” is my favorite thing to say):

While Monty Python and the Holy Grail doesn’t need booze to be the fulcrum of a fantastic Friday night, a frosty ale wouldn’t hurt it, neither. And thus is borne the Monty Python and the Holy Grail Drinking Game: Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Edition.

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THE RULES

1. Drink for butt trumpets. Because, butt trumpets:

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2. Drink whenever you hear the infamous Monty Python cat scream. You’ll find it in the “Bring Out Yer Dead!” scene, for starters:

3. Drink for every utterance of “I’m not dead yet,” or variance thereof. This happens throughout, not just the above scene.

4. Any time there’s an argument about African or European swallows, drink.

5. Take a sip whenever Sir Lancelot kills someone.

6. Each time Arthur, King of the Britons proclaims, “I am Arthur, King of the Britons!”, take a swig.

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7. Every time the Monks self-flagellate, sip for their pain.

8. Drink for every “Run away!”

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9. Take a drink for every limb that the Black Knight loses.

10. Drink every time “Brave Sir Robin” is sung/uttered. This one comes with a multiplier: take an extra drink for every “Brave” said before “Sir Robin.”

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11. Whenever you hear the Knights Who Say Ni (or formerly say Ni) say, “We are the Knights who say…”, drink.

12. Drink every time Sir Bedevere flips up his helmet (“Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?”).

13. Whenever something is launched (“Jesus Christ!”), drink.

14. Take a sip for every instance of story book graphics.

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15. Waterfall for the Camelot song (“It’s a silly place”).

If you can’t hang with these rules, then…well:

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Muppets March Madness: CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-championship-round/ https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-championship-round/#comments Fri, 04 Apr 2014 15:56:26 +0000 http://seveninchesofyourtime.com/?p=1437 Get hard]]> And so, it all comes down to this. The Muppets were created in 1955, and nearly 60 years later, we’re about to definitively determine which one is the absolute greatest; this is obviously a fully scientific process that will present an undisputed champion. Your final two Muppets are:

Muppets March Madness Championship

Animal vs. Beaker

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The uncontrollable dummer vs. the abused lab assistant. The wild vs. the meek. The hard to understand vs. the even harder to understand. A battle of epic proportions. This is the most important decision you will ever make. CHOOSE WISELY.

Voting will end Monday night, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, April 8.

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Muppets March Madness: The Final Four https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-the-final-four/ https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-the-final-four/#comments Mon, 31 Mar 2014 17:21:14 +0000 http://seveninchesofyourtime.com/?p=1322 Get hard]]> 32 Muppets entered, and only four remain. Your Muppets Final Four are:

Muppets March Madness Final Four

The Round 3 results were:

(2) Swedish Chef (54.5%) defeats (1) Kermit (45.5%)

(2) Animal (50.8%) defeats (4) Rizzo (49.2%)

(2) Beaker (58.9%) defeats (1) Fozzie (41.1%)

(2) Statler & Waldorf (61%) defeat (1) Gonzo (39%)

Fozzie is out, which means I hate you all, but by all means, keep voting below.

This round will end Thursday night, with the Championship starting on Friday.

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Muppets March Madness, Round 3 https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-round-3/ https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-round-3/#comments Fri, 28 Mar 2014 16:36:59 +0000 http://seveninchesofyourtime.com/?p=1269 Get hard]]> To see how close the voting was in Round 2, plus YouTube tributes to our fallen Muppets, click here.

Here’s what the bracket looks like now:

Muppets March Madness Round 3.
It’s clear that no one is safe now, as we vote to determine who will make up the Muppet Final Four. Kermit or Swedish Chef? Rizzo or Animal? FOZZIE OR BEAKER??? Impossible. Gonzo or Statler & Walforf? There are no more easy answers. You have your work cut out for you, voters.

Click on to vote. THIS ROUND ENDS SUNDAY NIGHT. Check back Monday for results and the start of Round 4.

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Muppets March Madness, Round 2 https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-round-2/ https://seveninchesofyourtime.com/muppets-march-madness-round-2/#comments Mon, 24 Mar 2014 18:05:19 +0000 http://seveninchesofyourtime.com/?p=1200 Get hard]]> Round 1 of Muppets March Madness has ended, and we have our first batch of winners and losers. For an expanded look at the results, including the margins of victory, click here. Otherwise, we’re on to Round 2. The favorites fared well in the first round, but are we headed for some upsets this time?

Muppets March Madness Round 2

There are some great matches ahead, highlighted perhaps by Electric Mayhem members Animal and Dr. Teeth going up against each other, and partners in science Bunsen and Beaker facing off.

Who will make our Elite Eight? Click on to vote. Voting ends Thursday, March 27. Check back Friday for results and the start of Round 3.

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