For those who grew up in the 90’s, Macaulay Culkin was our childhood. I could care less about Ri$hie Rich, but he made me cry in My Girl, laugh in Uncle Buck, and want to be him in the Home Alone series. When I saw him at the Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood last year, I almost collapsed, afraid that I couldn’t exist in the same space-time as a guy who helped me grow up. Say whatever you want about Culkin’s life as a child actor and beyond, we all owe him a debt that will likely never be paid.

The evidence is in The Pagemaster, one of the most underrated animated treasures of the 1990’s, a film that is currently enjoying its 20th anniversary.

Richard Tyler is a scaredy-cat loser who won’t even go up into the treehouse Stan Sitwellhis Dad builds for him. He probably emptied out a Sports Authority’s safety equipment section just to ride his bike home. He was me; I was always shit with bikes, and terrified of new experiences. I wouldn’t be comfortable playing sports, games or anything until I was reasonably confident that I’d be one of the best in the class at it. I’m still that way with Pool. Risk was a board game, not something you actually took.

In the midst of a massive storm, Richard finds himself in The Library. Watching it now, the idea of a kid ever going to a library seems quaint, so much more magical/surprising than it was in 1994. Nowadays the library is where the homeless keep warm, or a place where the desperate seek free WIFI and glumly pay to print their resumes. Why else would you be in the library? Shamefully, society reads books on Kindles and iPAD’s, and if we succumb to actual paper-bound books, we order them from Amazon. Why read books for free when we can pay for them? The Pagemaster makes you want the world of your childhood back, when your class would take “field trips” to the library and force you to sign up for a library card, a quasi-religious experience that felt like you were signing up for a cult/skeevy daycare.

The Pagemaster grasps onto the power of books, of reading, of the Library, and paints it as a fantastical realm, with books that are as Alive as you or I. Books are (literally) our friends. Anyone who’s ever had a lonely afternoon reading Harry Potter knows this to be unequivocally true. The Pagemaster trumpets the power of reading, be it Adventure, Fantasy, and even the misunderstood genre of Horror. You could lose yourself into a world, embrace danger, daring and learn about yourself in the process. Pagemaster showed losers you could be a heroic sword-wielding knight who could take on a dragon, even if you looked like Macaulay Culkin, who looked like a big time dweeb in this movie, animated or otherwise:

What do I do with my hands?

And:

But by the end, thanks to his Bookish friends, Richard Tyler wasn’t afraid anymore. I said, “I’m not afraid anymore!”

The Pagemaster stars the holy triumvirate of sci-fi actors: Patrick Stewart, Christopher Lloyd and Leonard Nimoy. Or if you want to broaden it to the Mount Rushmore of Sci-Fi, you could throw Whoopi Goldberg in there (Ghost, dudes!), and you’d be wrong. Interestingly, Pagemaster not only stars Captain Picard and Guinan (Whoopi on TNG), but also Robert Picardo (The Doctor from Star Trek: Voyager). It’s not hard to see the Star Trek DNA strands weaving throughout Pagemaster.

Patrick Stewart wonderfully plays against type, against his persona and the genre expectation that he’s cultivated, by being Adventure, a Pirate ruffian of a book. Leonard Nimoy similarly subverts our supposition, by being Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in a memorable scene:

Whoopi is Whoopi/nobody’s Fantasy, while Christopher Lloyd is Mr. Dewey (get it?), the Librarian AND the Pagemaster, the wizard overlord of Richard’s literary journey that includes Treasure Island, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, Moby Dick and Alice in Wonderland. You kind of wish the boy had traveled in more unique worlds; even in 1994 those four were overplayed. Regardless, the Pagemaster is a role that only Christopher Lloyd can play, and one that he probably still could. Like Culkin, Christopher Lloyd was an inextricable link to my childhood, the perfect choice to play the gatekeeper of Magic.

Until recently, Back to the Future was my answer for favorite movie of all-time (now it’s Galaxy Quest). Lloyd’s excitable, brilliant Doc Brown was a massive part of that. But the man was also Uncle Fester in Addams Family and Addams Family Values, Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and the Boss Angel in Angels in the Outfield. He was even Rasputin in Anastasia. The guy has his fingerprints all over the most important films from the 1990’s and is the man tasked with showing us the power of imagination, the kind of groan-inducing maxim that I still can’t get enough of.

I could talk about Pagemaster forever. Its unparalleled cast, its shitty animation, that the incomparable Phil Hartman voices Tom Morgan (above), one of Long John Silver’s pirate cohorts, but I’m getting thirsty, and I suspect so are you. So…on with it:

DRINKING RULES

1. Drink whenever Richard Tyler and company jump inside a book.

2. Take a sip for every reference to a storm, and every stormy scene.

3. You gotta drink for every dragon scene. This video is admittedly awful quality, but highlights one of the coolest/creepiest moments from the movie:

4. Whenever we see the library’s “Exit” sign, or Tyler draws it in the sand or something equally pathetic/poignant, drink.

5. Drink whenever Richard is scared.

6. Sip on the drink of your choice whenever Richard wields a sword.

7. Drink whenever we meet a new book.

8. If you ever find yourself reading the title of a book, or recognize a book’s spine, drink, you snob.

9. You best be drinking whenever there’s a book pun. You’ll know it when it happens.

10. Whenever Horror (voiced by Frank Welker) unleashes his dumbass laugh, drink. Also, watch this loving tribute to the most underrated Book in the film:

11. Drink whenever Richard/Culkin adjusts his glasses, or loses them, or all the different things that happens to nerds who wears specs. Consider this the Giles rule, a permanent staple when any character wears glasses. Because they never stop fucking with them.

12. Whenever cartoons and reality exist in the same scene, drink. Consider this the Space Jam rule.

EXPERT EDITION: Just drink for Christopher Lloyd. Every time. He deserves it.

Over the last week, we’ve been reminiscing about the first X-MEN, what became of the franchise from there, and the importance of the X-MEN comic books. The X-MEN movie and comic franchise

Sira delivered her immediate thoughts on X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST last week. Now it’s mine and David’s turn to chat about Bryan Singer’s latest tale of mutant woe, touching on a variety of topics.

Beware, this be as SPOILER-FILLED as X-MEN has continuity holes.

Overall Impressions

David: I was a very big fan of the movie. I thought it hit so many of the right notes, capturing both the bleakness of the future timeline and the urgency of the past. I didn’t like how the plot did some aggressive hand waving to get past the “how” of this time travel occurs — especially since giving Kitty these vague powers was such a departure from, well, any talent Kitty has ever displayed in any medium. But it didn’t impair my overall enjoyment; the mechanics were secondary to the characters themselves, and those were nailed better than perhaps any X-movie ever has.

Andy: I don’t know what it is, because I know Days of Future Past is probably the best X-Men movie to date, but something felt off. Maybe it’s because I had to sit in the front row, or maybe it’s because I’m never truly happy or satisfied. Maybe because it made all other X-movies obsolete. More on that later, but I will say that this felt more like an X-MEN movie than perhaps any of them to date, that Singer managed to juggle two franchises and very nearly tied them together into a bow. The movie had no downtime, was thrilling throughout, and felt epic without necessitating endless scenes of destruction porn normally accompanying such a grand scale in a Hollywood blockbuster.

Thoughts on retconning the entire original trilogy

David: I think I liked it. The various continuity errors that the cinematic X-universe has suffered (and there were many) were never super important to me; I just wanted good stories that made sense within that film; even if, for instance, Charles met Erik a little later in life in First Class than he had said in X-Men. But I still respected the effort this movie made to resolve it all. Most studios wouldn’t have given a shit if there was internal consistency throughout the movies, so at least trying is something I respect, even if I didn’t think it was necessary. And I will still enjoy watching X-Men and X2 even if they officially “never happened”; I might even rest a little easier knowing X3 didn’t.

Andy: It rubbed me the wrong way, even if it’s for the best, and I knew it was coming. It seemed pretty clear that the Days of Future Past time travel element would be used to create a new present and re-write whatever FOX and Brett Ratner did in X3, but I don’t know if I was prepared for how completely they did. The retcon’s execution felt perfectly in the realm of what Marvel would do, and has done, with X-MEN and their characters, so really, it’s one of the most comic book-y things that the franchise has ever done. And by doing so, FOX now has possibly two X-Men franchises going concurrently, with the past-Men starting the X-Men and the school and because the future has changed, a chance to redo the Phoenix Saga (in a way in which Jean survives), and meet a younger Storm (Lupita Nyong’o!), Jean Grey and Scott Summers that have emotional depth and dimension. And the future-men can do whatever the hell we want, should they so choose, giving a chance for Wolverine to lead Iceman, Shadowcat, Colossus, Rogue, Blink, Sunspot, Bishop, Warpath, and whomever to have their moments. I’m happy that X-MEN: THE LAST STAND never happened, but was it so bad that it needed to wipe away every other movie, including The Wolverine, which aside from a crappy ending, was actually a pretty good flick precisely because of the effect Jean Grey’s death had on Logan? In many ways, X-Men was one of the more important movies of my childhood (and in Hollywood history), and now, for all intents and purposes, it doesn’t really exist anymore.

Wolverine’s Expanded Role

David: I was among those who complained a little after the first X-Men that Wolverine had too large of a role at the expense of the rest of the team. But I’ve long since gotten over it. As Andy pointed out in his Autobiography in Movies, Hugh Jackman as Logan was one of the greatest, most inspired casting moves in superhero movie history. And we’re running out of chances to see him nail that role, so why not just accept and enjoy it? Besides, more so than in X-Men, I thought they balanced the movie with plenty of great moments for the supporting cast. There was only one thing that made me regret that Wolvy was the one sent back in time, which I’ll discuss later.

Andy: It would’ve been nice if Kitty could’ve somehow come along for the ride with Wolverine (because if we’re inventing powers, that would’ve been more fun), but since they hadn’t established much of a relationship at all in the movies, that might not have worked. But it could’ve mirrored the relationship between Rogue and Wolverine in the first X-MEN. If Rogue wasn’t so clearly out of the question for many reasons (she’s cured/sucks/it makes no sense), I might’ve wanted to see her make the trip with Wolvy, because their relationship was one of the best and most realistic things we saw in the original trilogy. Anyways, I don’t have any problem with Wolverine being the central focus of the action. That’s just how it’s going to be, and Wolverine is the most fully formed character the entire franchise has, thanks to Hugh Jackman being one of the few consistent elements. It would’ve been supremely effective/badass for him to have died as David mentions. At least him being forced to carry the burden of this alternate future, while not knowing the new past/present, is something that totally fits into the tragic element of Wolverine’s character. Of course Jean Grey is back…and of course Scott Summers is still in the way.

Favorite Character (Major)

David: Magneto, 1973 version. A few ways I could go there, as this was such an incredible, deep cast of actors who nailed their roles. But for the second time, Michael Fassbender just destroyed that role. I don’t think any superhero movie villain has ever so perfectly hit the note of destructive actions while believing himself to be acting justly. Meaning, in short, he WAS Magneto, making us *feel* why he’s one of the best villains in comics history.

Andy: I don’t want to be redundant, because Fassbender’s Magneto is the answer. In what might be the best cast ever, Fassbender delivers the best performance by far (I love that he altered his voice slightly knowing McKellan would be in the film). His decisions are infuriating, maddening and insane, but it’s so Magneto, and so scary to behold, because there’s no greater threat, even next to Sentinels that have wiped out the mutant race in the future. I will say that James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart’s Professor X had more synergy and impact together than the two Magneto’s, not only because they shared a scene together, but I felt like I was witnessing their journey. We didn’t really get to see enough of Ian McKellan’s older Magneto, beyond him watching Kitty Pryde at work (thrilling). I loved his sad and heroic death scene, and his final words regretting his actions…but I don’t know if they quite had the impact that I wanted them too, because I felt a slight disconnect between the two versions of the characters, or didn’t quite believe the transformation, since we hadn’t seen any evidence of it before his last moments.

Favorite Character (Minor)

David: A lot of fans are going Quicksilver here, and not without reason; they nailed him. But I have to say my girl BLINK. Honestly, I had forgotten how much I loved that character until I saw her in live action for the first time. Chinese actress Bingbing Fan had the perfect look, and her action scenes were visually stunning and thrilling.

Andy: Storm! Just kidding. I will go with PietroPeter/Quicksilver in lieu of other options. Most of the other secondary characters just sort of exist and look pretty, or are walking plot devices (Kitty Pryde), but Quicksilver stole the show for the brief few scenes he was in, and gave the festivities much needed brevity (“My Mom knew a guy who could control metal” was simultaneously the best and worst line of the entire movie). I will say that once they found Quicksilver and got him to help…it made no sense not to use him to do everything else in the movie. But I get why that’s not how it worked out, because it would’ve been far easier that way, and all urgency/tension would’ve dissipated. I expect a X-Men: Days of Future Past in the eyes of Quicksilver parody at some point.

Least Favorite Character (Minor)

Andy: Ink, because yes, he was in this movie (and he apparently exists), as the pale white bald dude with what looked like a Phoenix tattoo on his eye. Or it’d be Colossus, because he still looks super fake, and still never gets lines. Plus, I want this to happen at least once.

David: Havok. Not that his 17 seconds of screen time in this movie had anything wrong, but they reminded me how much I disliked him in First Class. The reason I didn’t like First Class as much as a lot of people is because I thought the supporting characters were almost all awful, and I didn’t love seeing any reminder of that.

New Characters

Andy: While Blink was one of the most perfect translations from comic book to movie in terms of appearance and visuals (the portals were glorious), and Bishop was also high up there in those respects, the new mutants (Blink, Bishop, Sunspot and Warpath) were essentially CGI set dressing. Did Sunspot even have a line? They were there to die spectacularly at the beginning and the end. They looked beautiful in doing so, and I honestly have no real problem with it, since the movie was overstuffed as is, but I think it’s still the symptom of what doomed the X-MEN franchise in the first place. It’s so hard to say no to all the mutants, because there are so many awesome ones we want to see, but the impact is lost, or the result is several two dimensional mutants.

David: I can’t really think of any new characters I particularly disliked, or at least any significant ones (Ink was dumb, as you said, but he didn’t matter enough for me to care). I loved the New Mutants group in the future. They may not have been three-dimensional characters, but they weren’t needed/intended to be anything other than awesome action additions. And they looked GREAT. I don’t think the X-movies failings were ever about using too many characters. I think it was always as simple as losing the story at times or relying on two-dimensional characters to be something they weren’t. This movie balanced that better than any of the others by a decent margin.

Biggest Complaint

David: Honestly, it’s fairly minor complaints for me, but there were two things missing from this movie that really would have kicked it up to 11 for me. One would have been a shot in the future of the infamous wall of mutant targets from the cover of X-Men #141 (above), the first part of “Days of Future Past.” Given that it might be the most homaged cover in comics history, I was disappointed it didn’t make it in the movie. Two, the downside of having Wolverine be the one to go back in time, with him waking up in the future being the end of the time travel, was that we didn’t get the most breath-taking moment of the comics story: his death by incineration by a Sentinel. The future deaths we did get were still incredible, but I think that one would have brought the house down.

Andy: The plot was heavy-handed and ridiculous (Kitty’s powers), but I got most of the reasoning behind the choices. 1973 Xavier couldn’t have his powers, because it would’ve been all too easy for him to stop Mystique, Trask or Magneto before the threat ever got out of hand/Magneto got his helmet. The handy serum from Beast didn’t make a ton of sense, but whatever, I dug the drug addiction parallels, and I liked that Xavier was sacrificing his gifts to walk again. It’s such an incredulous decision, but it shows how damaged and withdrawn he’s become.

The Stryker addition was very effective if only for the Wolverine scene and the ending with Mystique, but his involvement with the franchise is so confusing at this point, that I had no idea why he was there, why he was so anti-mutant, etc. We know his motivations have to do with his son, and it also doesn’t really matter in the scheme of Days of Future Past, but I kinda just am over Stryker.

I LOVED everything we got with Jennifer Lawrence and Mystique…and think she’s done wonders in this role. I get that she’s the female Wolverine/Hugh Jackman, in that Mystique has become a huge character because an Oscar winning global phenomenon plays her, but Singer and company have done such a great job of justifying why. It makes so much sense that her DNA is what was used to make the Sentinels so damn formidable (although I guess Morph’s DNA would’ve been more apt), and she was the assassin who killed Senator Kelly in the comics and propelled the alternate future forward. I hated how Xavier treats Mystique in the first film; he deserved to be abandoned, because he treated Raven like a child and lumped her with Havok, Angel and the rest, despite Xavier GROWING UP WITH HER. The second film serves up some retribution to Xavier, while he also finally realizes how big of a dick he was. I love how mercurial Mystique is, that she’s not Magneto’s sex slave or #2, that she’s on her own, with her own motives, making her own decisions, and how dangerous they’ve made her, even as an misunderstood anti-hero. BUT, and this is where the complaint comes in: while Mystique is such an important character in this movie, we get that from Xavier and Magneto’s perspective, and not really her own. Perhaps that’s due to the nature of her powers. After all, it’s really hard to get scenes from her POV; even when she’s the central focus, she primarily looks like someone else. The Magneto/Xavier relationship dynamic is the boon of First Class and this film, and the explosive addition of Mystique into that triangle is brilliant/interesting, especially since she’s not merely a love interest…but I don’t know if her character really stands on her own. We see everyone trying to reach her, trying to get her to do things, and never really get inside her head, or get a moment to see her for who she really is. That’s the mystique of her character, I suppose, but I also think more screen time and focus on her character could’ve made it incredible, and give her heroic choice at the end even more emotional resonance.

Where does the film rank in the X-Men franchise canon?

David: It’s close between X2 and Days of Future Past, and I’ll need to see the latter more than once to say it definitively, but right now, I’m going with Days of Future Past as the best one of all. It so captured the desperation of the X-Men when they’re at their best, the darkness of that world and the greatness of its characters.

Andy: TBD. It could be anywhere from #1 or #4. I don’t even know how I’d rank the other films beside it, but I’m thinking I’d rank it #2 after X2.

How about that post-credits scene?

David: Given that we already knew the title of the next movie is X-Men: Apocalypse, it shouldn’t have had so much effect on me, but my god did it get me excited. Apocalypse, despite some missteps in stories over the years, is still my second-favorite X-villain, and I just cannot freaking wait to see him in action. I thought it was smart to show him as a boy (though he was older in the comics when he came into his own) so we could get a glimpse at our Big Bad while still leaving the real casting open.

Andy: I loved this. It looked rushed CGI-wise, but hearing the En Sabuh Nur chant, and seeing the four horsemen, got me tingly. Before it happened, I joked that perhaps it’d end like Avengers, with a blue guy the general public doesn’t know grinning to the camera. I would’ve laughed, but thankfully that didn’t happen. I can’t wait to see the Apocalypse story set in the 1980’s, and whatever my thoughts on Days of Future Past, there’s no denying that the X-franchise is in as good a position as it’s been since after the first movie. Most of the baggage is jettisoned, and now creativity (and hopefully characterization) can flow. Of course, given the bright X-future we’ve seen and knowing Apocalypse takes place in the 80’s, does that lessen the stakes?

Four Horseman of the Apocalypse Predictions

Andy: Four of the following: Archangel, Mystique, Mr. Sinister, Dark Beast, Banshee (I don’t think we saw his death certificate in Trask’s lair), Havok, Psylocke, Caliban and Domino, in order of likelihood. As long as Toad is nowhere near the running. Hell, maybe young Storm, Jean and Scott will make up three quarters of it (and maybe we’ll figure out how Havok exists). It’d be a helluva way to introduce them.

David: When Apocalypse debuted in the 1980s in X-Factor, he just had four original horsemen without using any prior characters. I think trying to get four “name” horsemen might make things too crowded, or cause the impact to be lessened when Apocalypse does try/force one X-Men to become a Horseman. So I predict we get three generics, with an X-Man becoming Death. And that X-Man will be…well, probably Wolverine, since Jackman is softening on the next Wolvy movie being his last appearance as the character.

Mutant You Most Want to See

Andy: Cable?

David: In order: Young Storm, Mister Sinister, Cable, Shadow King, Nightcrawler (somehow)

Andy: We need a Storm spin-off (again, starring Lupita) in which she takes on Calypso and the Morlocks. Mostly because of that mohawk.

I have so many thoughts on Bryan Singers’ long awaited third installment of the X-Men franchise. Most of these thoughts are fangirling because it finally came into theatres, but there’s a few good thoughts that are actually coherent opinions, so we’ll see how far we get into those before fanbrain takes over. DAYS OF FUTURE PAST took us from a dystopian future where the Sentinels have all but destroyed both mutants and their human allies back to 1973, ten years after the events of FIRST CLASS. James McAvoy’s Xavier takes a serum that helps him walk but blocks his telepathy, Magneto (Michael Fassbender) is locked in a cement prison beneath the pentagon, and young Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) has gone rogue and is helping mutants escape the clutches of Tyrion—I mean  Trask—I mean Peter Dinklage?—with the intention of murdering him to stop his murder of the mutant race. (Because an eye for an eye is really the best way of solving everything, didn’t you know?) With a glimpse into the future of Sentinels that can evolve and adapt to any mutant power rendering them nearly unstoppable, Future Xavier and Magneto hatch a plan to send Xavier’s consciousness back in time to help change the past and prevent Mystique from murdering Trask and thus putting the sentinel program into overdrive. (It really does take effort to type “Trask” and not “Tyrion.”) However, apparently Logan’s ability to heal makes him the only one physically capable of making the trip (his brain can heal itself when fractured by his future consciousness taking over for his past consciousnss. LOL WAT?) so little Kitty Pryde (a non-monotonous Ellen Page!) uses Rachel Summer’s powers (not sure how she got those) to send Wolvie back to the past (that must have been writer Simon Kinberg’s apology. “Well, we have to send Wolverine back because he’s Wolverine, so let’s change Pryde’s power and storyline and instead of sending her back, let’s just give her the power to send him! Problem solved!”)

Once there, Jimmy/Logan/Wolverine hunts down Xavier who’s wallowing in self-pity and, I’m sure, a quite ripe-smelling mansion while Nicholas Hoult’s Beast takes care of [and coddles] him in his misery. Yadda, yadda, yadda, the plot progresses, fights happen, CGI, speeches, Magneto being a general boss, and J-Law speaking a variety of languages. Here are my high’s and low’s. High: My boo Joss Whedon once said, “Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.” And oh boy, did Singer and Kinberg nail this one. DOFP was full of emotionally charged characters, all with their own personal stakes in the game, (and the entire future of the mutant race); the film was darker than you might have realized, and almost uncomfortably intimate, but then every so often there was a look, or a joke, or a scene (Quicksilver, I’m looking at you!) that would make you belly laugh. High: And speaking of intimacy, what a nice change from all the world-is-ending-save-New-York-from-the-alien-invasion-oh-no-there-goes-half-the-city! Yes, ok, there may or may not have been some structural damage to the White House, but this film was not about taking over the planet, or destroying the human race: it was about saving the mutant race and the targets were a small, specific group of men – not an entire city or country. The big action battle at the climax of the film took place in the future, while the emotional struggle of how to prevent that future was the focus of the past. Low: Mystique was kinda boring. Aside from kick-ass action sequences (Mystique’s fight scenes have always been fab; the way they bring her stealth-ninja prowess to life continues to astound me), she was just not very interesting in this film. She had one purpose, one goal, and her personal conflict was not presented in such a way that you really felt for her and understood why she was being so ruthless. I mean, you definitely got it (especially when she was going through the research files and we caught a glimpse of her pain and anger) but her turmoil was overlooked and surpassed by everything else that was going on. Had Logan been given less emphasis and Mystique been given a little more, I might have felt a whole lot better about her presence and she may have been more than just a naked J-Law in blue body paint. High: The mutants of the future were so wonderful to see on-screen. Blink, Warpath, Sunspot and Bishop (Bingbing Fan, Booboo Stewart, Adan Canto and Omar Sy, respectively) were so well developed in terms of power-presentation. The FX felt remarkably natural and organic to the story and characters and it left you wanting nothing…except for them to have more screen-time. Low: Some of the other CGI needed some love. In particular, Mystique’s shape-shifting FX and the green-screen were shoddily done in more than one scene, and it unfortunately took me out of the story. High: Young Stryker. Getting to witness the beginning of Stryker’s involvement with the mutant phenomenon was surprisingly pleasant, but you never really knew where he was at emotionally. Low: Young Stryker…was surprisingly pleasant, but you never really knew where he was at emotionally. The movie-verse never established how old his son Jason (wannabe-Mastermind) was when he developed his powers, but DOFP specified that Jason was eight years old in 1973 so we can assume he is still perceived as human. Maybe it was a reflection of Josh Helman’s acting, or maybe I’m totally wrong about Jason “still being human” at eight years old, but there seemed to be times when Stryker was conflicted about Trasks’ plans to destroy mutants. I felt as if there were a few moments when Stryker was ready to object or defend mutants, but those moments were fleeting and ultimately forgotten. High: Two words. Peter. Dinklage. This man, I believe, is one of the great actors of his and our generation. He immerses himself so completely into every character he plays, and he transcends my expectations every time. Be it during Tyrions’ trial (EMMY AWARD PLZ) or during his speech in the Oval Office convincing the President to employ his sentinel program, Dinklage is such a power and presence in every scene he’s in. Low: Xavier’s serum was a little far-fetched for me. It gave him the ability to walk by changing his DNA (Hank’s serum did the same by hiding his blue fuzzies) and it also, coincidentally, blocked his telepathy. Someone, please explain to me, how changing your DNA gives you the ability to walk. Last time I checked, paralysis by gunshot wound was not a product of DNA. Am I wrong, science?

AWESOME.

High: The FX for Beasts’ change were so good. Low: If I have to watch Bobby get his head crushed, Colossus get ripped in half, Magento get a spear to the stomach, or my baby daddy Bishop explode again I’ll throw myself off a bridge. Rip my heart out one more time, assholes. Please. High: Fassbender and McAvoy. They have such charisma and chemistry together, it’s hard not to ship them. They play Magento and Xaviers’ tumultuous relationship to perfection and watching them ignite such a passion and fire of rage, pain, friendship and loss in the other is a gift. Low: Contrary to how I suspect many others might feel I did not enjoy the scene between young Charles and old Charles. There were so many other ways of getting young Xavier to believe in himself again, to believe in the future; it felt contrived to have old Charles impart words of wisdom onto his younger self – that he would the quote not five minutes later. While I loved seeing McAvoy and Stewart on screen together, there had to be another way to give young Charlie the strength to hope again.

High: QUICKSILVER. This dude. Just—damn. This dude. Evan Peters was perfect. Beyond hilarious, he really brought Pietro’s humor to life. While I’m excited to see a potentially darker side of him in MCU’s AGE OF ULTRON (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) next year, Peters was brilliant in what he did. The little nod to Magento being his father was on. Point. Low: The Maximoff TWINS. Apparently the little princess sitting on Peters lap was not Wanda, but if that’s true… Then where was she? High: The end. I almost started crying. Not because I’m such a girl that everyone survived and X3 didn’t happen (although boy is that the best part) but because you got to see the original cast again. Rogue with her gloves on and holding hands with Bobby, Kitty and Colossus teaching a class, Storm (ughhh) alive and well, Beast roaming the halls and fuzzy and dapper, and Jean and Scott in the office with the professor. It was all I wanted to see my cast together and know there was hope for the future. Was DOFP the best X-Men to date? I’m split 50/50. There were things I loved and couldn’t get enough of, but there were also certain things that were too underdeveloped, characters that weren’t given enough screen time, and story aspects that I could do without. Was it the best adapted story thus far? It was pretty interesting, yeah. Did it stray too far from the original DOFP plotline? An argument could be made either way but it was adapted to fit the film universes needs and adapted well, at that. Am I rooting for another X-Men film with the original cast? Always. Do I expect to get one? Not particularly, no because now they’ve been tied up in a neat little bow where everyone survived and got a happy ending. The next few X-Men films will more than likely focus on the events that changed between 1973 and 2000 that created the future we saw at the end of DOFP. Did X-Men and X2 actually happen? X3 sure didn’t (thank god) but I’d said it’s fairly open to interpretation if the original two films happened the way we initially saw, or if their events changed minimally (or possibly majorly). Additional X-Info: X-MEN APOCALYPSE is said to be set in the 1980’s, though it’s always subject to change, and Bryan Singer has for all intents and purposes confirmed that young Storm, Cyclops and Jean Grey will be featured in APOCALYPSE as the beginnings of the X-Men we met back in 2000. Gambit is supposed to fit in there as well but no one really knows how at this point. And yes, I do think Channing Tatum will be a fine Gambit. He’s got the swag, he’s a decent actor (I think he’s not given enough credit and I’m quite excited to see him in upcoming FOXCATCHER) and with the accent down and the right costume he’ll certainly look the part. Here, have some side-by-sides.

Optional Music Accompaniment: The theme to the X-MEN animated series. On repeat. 

I’ve always been a man defined by his hobbies and obsessions, whether it be Ninja Turtles, baseball, Beanie Babies, Star Wars, fantasy sports, or TV. From 2000 to 2007, my Northstar was comic books, and I’d argue, was the most important hobby I ever had, irrevocably changing how I view pop culture and discovering what kind of stories and worlds and characters that I love.

I’m a devourer of superhero-related pop culture, someone whose calendar is dictated by big movie releases or TV premieres. My consumption of sci-fi, fantasy and comics has paralleled the incredible rise to prominence that these genres have imprinted on our culture. I like to think I had something to do with it all, because the timing is uncanny (sorry).

But without the original X-MEN, the superhero film that in many ways, started it all, we might never have seen a world where comic book heroes are the most popular characters in the world, where movie theaters are filled with the biggest characters from our youth, or the most eclectic. ANT-MAN is going to have his own movie, and that’s not weird. That’s exciting. The best filmmakers and actors in the world do some of their best work bringing to life characters that we grew up so urgently pretending they were real. Perhaps even without X-MEN, another movie would’ve sparked a superhero renaissance, an age when Captain America or Iron Man shares equal footing (or towers above) James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, Darth Vader and Indiana Jones. But maybe we’d still be waiting for AVENGERS. Or JUSTICE LEAGUE, because the punch line writes itself.

X-MEN’s success led to Sam Raimi getting his hands on SPIDER-MAN, and that paved the way for Christopher Nolan to reboot BATMAN, and for all of our movie going lives to change forever. It certainly mutated mine (oops).

If I hadn’t seen X-MEN, or if it hadn’t had a profound impact on me, I might not have been as invested in the incredible fantasy world that we geeks live in today. When the film came out in 2000, I had never read a comic book before. I was aware of them, having spent most of my money on MAGIC: THE GATHERING, POKEMON and baseball cards at Bigfoot’s Cards & Comics (now and forever closed ). I think I knew I’d like them, but I didn’t know if I was ready to fully commit to my nerd-dom, or admit to myself that that was the path I was going down. I was an extremely shy person back then, and not at all comfortable in my own skin, preferring to shield my personality from other people.

I was also a fairly accomplished baseball player at the time (but I was only 12, so that means nothing), and I’m not sure if I was able to reconcile the two worlds together. Being a LORD OF THE RINGS geek on your baseball team in 2000 was a hard sell, and I don’t think it’s an accident that my playing days became more frustrating, difficult and fewer and far between once I embraced comic books and the like. I wish I had juggled the two better (one of my bigger regrets), but I wasn’t very good at managing my obsessions.

When Bryan Singer, a director known for THE USUAL SUSPECTS, took on X-MEN, and brought it into theaters in 2000, I was more than familiar with the X-MEN. Like almost everyone in my generation, I had grown up on the awesome aforementioned cartoon. Jubilee was the worst, Cyclops was lame, the Phoenix Saga was fucking great, etc. I would’ve told you Wolverine was my favorite character (revel in his best quotes, though none top “JEEAANNNNNNN”), but I probably secretly believed Beast to be my fave, since he was the most Donatello-like of the mutant brigade.

Every summer, I’d go with my family to visit Granny in North Lake Tahoe. After a day spent on the beach (likely playing “amazing catches,” a forced childish version of ESPN’s Web Gems with a splash ball), we’d often play a round or two of miniature (don’t call it pee wee) golf at Magic Carpet Golf. While there were many highlights of the experience (including some shooting game that featured a terrifying cowboy/drunk that shot water and hollered at you), I was never satisfied until AFTER I got done in the Arcade Room. Why? Because they had the X-MEN Arcade Game. Magic Carpet was probably one of two places I’ve ever seen it, or played it (until very recently, it was still there; now my childhood is dead).

While I loved playing as Wolverine (in his spectacular brown and tan/yellow duds that need to make it on film) and Nightcrawler (also one of my faves; I wasn’t too creative in my choices), Colossus was the true breakout character of that game in my mind. I would play him the most, and would yell “Hyogen” to emulate the yell Piotr Rasputin makes when he explodes/whatever the fuck he does to destroy all competition. For awhile I think I just figured his name was Hyogen, and that became a talking point with my father for years (he’ll still say it). I shouted Hyogen around the house well after I should’ve stopped, and am still a little upset how awful my ears were, since my approximation of his yell left a lot to be desired in translation:

I like Hyogen better, but there’s a lot to be said for MAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH. Or maybe it’s WHOOOOOOOOREE. One of life’s greatest mysteries.

All of this was a long-winded, rambling way to say that I had been primed, and ready for the moment a young Erik Lehnnsherr mangled barb-wire fence at a Nazi internment camp to open X-MEN, and tearing down the barrier to comics and genre in my life forever.

I was thrilled to discover the absolute perfect Wolverine on screen, perhaps the best unknown casting of all-time. One of the biggest travesties of the constant missteps of the X-franchise after X2 has been wasting a willing, loyal and brilliant Hugh Jackman in his prime on a bunch of shitty movies. That, more than anything, is why we need X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST to be awesome, and why I’m totally fine that Wolverine’s role in the film is beefed up. There’s only so much longer that Hugh Jackman can do this, and like Robert Downey Jr. with Iron Man, I want to see as much of him as possible in the role that made us love him.

While Anna Paquin’s Rogue was annoying, I still loved Wolverine and Rogue’s relationship. Patrick Stewart. Ian McKellan. Most associate P-Stew with Captain Picard, or McKellan with Gandalf. This is likely heresy/wrong, but for me, they’ll always be Professor X and Magneto, as X-MEN was my first introduction to them as actors that stuck, and physical evidence that true love exists.

You could go on an on about what’s wrong with the X-MEN movies (Toad, Storm, Rogue, the bazillion plotholes and timeline inconsistencies), but it doesn’t matter. In 2000, when I saw X-MEN for the first time as a 12 year old, it changed my life.

X-MEN was my Gateway drug into comic books. The next week I was in Bigfoot’s, buying comics for the first time. Since that moment, I’ve listened to Joe Quesada or some other boner talk about how these movies try to get kids to read comic books countless times, and they always seem so desperate and laughable, but with X-MEN, the tactic worked.

While the first comic book character and series I fell in love with based on the merit of the character and the writing was GREEN ARROW, thanks to Kevin Smith and Phil Hester’s genius resurrection of Oliver Queen, they weren’t the first comics I ever read.

That would be X-MEN #110-113 and UNCANNY X-MEN #392-393, a unique and interesting period of X-Men comics that people would prefer to forget.

Somehow, Scott Lobdell’s “Eve of Destruction” arc didn’t ruin comic books for me forever. At the time, tt was seen as the last big crossover between the X-titles, while simultaneously being “filler” before Grant Morrison and Joe Casey (blergh) took over the flagship books for Marvel and revolutionized the mutants (one of them did). I honestly don’t remember Eve of Destruction in the slightest, except for their covers (and the brilliant song Lobdell was referencing), which is probably for the best. I do remember being kind of bummed out that Hyogen/Colossus had just died (sacrificing himself to save mutant kind from the Legacy Virus), right when I was started reading. Figures. Of course, years later, Joss Whedon would prove perhaps for the first time that he would always have my back, resurrecting my Arcade fave in ASTONISHING X-MEN.

Pretty soon, I was spending all of my allowance and savings on comic books, broadening out to AVENGERS, FANTASTIC FOUR, JUSTICE LEAGUE, and in a couple years, onto Vertigo titles like FABLES and Y: THE LAST MAN that really showed me the kind of diverse storytelling that could take place in a medium that I had always thought was devoted solely to masked heroes and villains.

When I was first delving in, I craved more. I wanted to talk about them, I wanted to pretend like I knew what I was talking about, and I wanted to meet other people like me. That’s when I found the Marvel message boards, and stumbled upon a world of role playing, constant threads filled with silly arguments debating your dream X-MEN team, or what mutant powers you wish you had, or who you’d want to fuck, along with various get to know you games with nerds of all shapes, sizes and ages. My moniker was DrDoom2099; to this day, I’ve never read a comic book with the 2099 version of Doctor Doom. Very soon, I had created my own message board called Comic Castle, that brought with it several iterations, a lot of wasted time, and a few long time members and friends.

One of whom was ShadowWolf214, or David Youngblood, a name you might recognize. He writes about owls and Red Pandas on this very site, and mind-bloggingly does so without any encouragement from me. 13-14 years after I first met him on the Marvel message boards and talked to him on AIM, I probably text David more than I do my Mom, Dad or best friends that I actually see on a consistent basis. David has been my nigh constant online companion ever since I learned to stop worrying and love the genre, and the bizarre, incredible, and life-giving worlds that that has opened up. In many ways, because he was so much older (it’s a one year difference, but it seemed/seems like a decade of difference when I was 12) and had been reading comics for longer, he kind of clued me in on what to read and what to shit on, until I was able to stand on my two feet in the comics community (I don’t know if I ever did). Whenever the other watches a new show, or movie, we’re likely the first to know about it, or receive a snarky comment. We practically have a symbiotic relationship when it comes to pop culture, and there are few people I trust more than him when it comes to recommendations.

It’s one of the weirder and cooler friendships and stories I’ve had the good fortune to stumble upon. I “met” David when I was 12 years old (though we both lied about our ages for at least a year or so), and we both stunningly turned out to be who we said we were, and kept in contact long enough to the point where it wasn’t weird when we finally met. I went to his wedding in August of 2012, finally meeting David and learning his disturbing predilection for chicken fingers in person for the first time. Here I was, the night before his wedding, crashing on his couch. It was surreal, kinda awkward, yet undeniably wonderful to be chatting about THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and PROMETHEUS with David and his drunk friends during the most important days of his life.

It’s reassuring to have someone in your life that not only knows you and has your back, but loves all the same things you do. It’s creepy/insane how similar David and I are in our pop culture consumption. He will get all the jokes, all the references. And that all came, in part, because of Bryan Singer’s first X-MEN. Without seeing it, I would have 100% less dragon socks, Edward James Olmos t-shirts and people to talk Agent 355 with, things no one should live without.

Before I became comfortable waving around my hobbies, and personality for all to see (which came in senior year of high school and college), the Marvel message boards were the first lifeline to who I really was. Nowadays, I don’t care what other people think about the weird or girly or nerdy things I like (MARY POPPINS, DAWSON’S CREEK, etc.), and am in fact proud of it, since I never shut up about them.

But without the Marvel Messageboards, and discovering the internet as this bastion of reflection, discussion and access to knowledge and people I’d never be able to meet in Edmonds, WA when I was in middle school, I never would’ve made Comic Castle or discovered things that truly inspired me. I might never would’ve written about comics, movies and the things I love, and without that, I don’t know if I ever would’ve realized how much I like not just writing online, but writing in general.

You could make the argument that seeing X-MEN was the most impactful thing that happened to me in my childhood, aside from a non-serious car accident that happened to me when I was 15 that robbed me of my license for a year and inadvertently introduced me to DAWSON’S CREEK, or not making the baseball team my freshman year of High School. Oh, and being loved and raised by a pair of wonderful parents, I guess.

While X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST has the potential to be awful, and I’ve kind of held my expectations in check because of that, I’m optimistic. It’s actually snuck up on me how happy and ecstatic I am to see this crazy ballsy sequel/prequel/reboot/eraser fourteen years later, with Bryan Singer back in the saddle.

Maybe afterwards, I’ll find myself wandering right back into a comic shop, ready to restart the addiction. What’s Scott Lobdell doing these days?

If there’s a dark cloud hanging over the sunny festivities of WonderCon, it’s likely the sexual abuse allegations that have been thrown director Bryan Singer’s way. He had been planned to represent his newest film, the epic gigantic crazy mind$#%# X-Men: Days of Future Past, but those were obviously squashed.

But the FOX presentation for X-Men: Days Of Future Past still went on, with writer and X-architect Simon Kinberg there to take his place.

It was a brief panel, but it’s hard not to get excited about this movie, even if it seems destined to either rule or blow up completely.

As Kinberg states, it’s the “biggest collection of X-Men on the screen” and of course, features time travel, something fraught with difficulty. It was, in fact, the trickiest part of the movie, and especially the screenplay (that Kinberg worked on). They wanted to use real science, but if that was the case, they wouldn’t have time travel. They met with physicists, and actually got a big assist from a film time travel guru, one James Cameron, who gave them advice, and scientific evidence to study. According to Kinberg, they were really meticulous with how time travel worked. They set up rules at the very beginning of the movie and stick with them throughout. As long as they do that, I think we’ll all follow. But I don’t think many are going to see DOFP for “realistic” time travel science. They’ll likely be disappointed.

Then, those at the panel were given a taste of the latest trailer, one that no has seen on the big screen until now. Even cooler, we got to see an extended version of the opening battle that has also been introduced online, and we’re the first to see this extended clip.

Again, spoilers.

It doesn’t disappoint, even if it seems crazy spoiler-y. But clearly, with the time travel elements, any deaths or big events can or aim to be rebooted, and especially since they’re showing this scene before the movie hits, all is not what it seems. Essentially, the scene involves the new, future-y Sentinels and the young X-Men, both new and old to the films, from Blink, Sunspot, Shadowcat, Iceman, Colossus, Warpath and Bishop. It doesn’t go well for the group, but we get to see how Blink and Sunspot’s powers will translate to the big screen, and how Iceman and Colossus’ powers have developed since X3. Blink looks super cool, I’ll say, while the others look a bit too heavy CGI/shiny. It ends with almost everyone dead, but Shadowcat and Bishop are able to transport/time travel? away, in the nick of time (“Too late, assholes.”).

Kinberg mentions that “Days of Future Past” was his favorite X-Men story growing up, and also owns up on some past mistakes by the franchise. We “probably should’ve done better with Dark Phoenix, but this is our attempt to make a cool “Days of Future Past.” They are literally going back and righting our wrongs, like the characters.

The mood and colors of the past and future provide rich contrast. The 70′s gives a bright, splashy color palette, while the future is dark and somber.

James McAvoy‘s first day on set was the scenes between him and Patrick Stewart, a daunting task. It was the bridge between the two time periods and cast, and was referred to as the “nose off,” because they were filmed in profile, and it displayed their significant noses.

The discussion turned to Peter Dinklage, as most do these days. He’s playing the villain in the film, Bolivar Trask, the creator of the Sentinels. Kinberg didn’t write with him in mind, but like everybody else, he’s obsessed with Game of Thrones. They needed an actor who could stand up to the big level of actors they have (McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, etc.) Dinklage very quickly became their first and only choice. According to Kinberg, he’s spectacular in the film, and gives gravity and humanity to Trask, “hard to with a villain.” Not a well written one.

The film does indeed have Richard Nixon in it, and not just clips like First Class had of JFK. There are significant scenes between Nixon and mutants, Nixon and Trask, and they posit that the Watergate tapes that went missing had something to do with mutants. Does he hate mutants? It’s not black and white; Nixon is a complicated dude.

Hugh Jackman didn’t get much off time between shooting Wolverine and DOFP, but he actually preferred that, because he didn’t go up and down from his insane diet and workout regimen. Wolverine, of course, was the only guy in both time periods, so he had the most important role in the film. Because Wolverine. Hugh gets to play two versions of the character, as they made Wolverine the character to go back in time, and not Kitty like in the comic books, for a lot of reasons (because Wolverine).

And that, was that. Stunningly, the film is coming out on May 22nd, barely over a month away. Crazy.

Most of us have heard of DUNE, if not read Frank Herbert’s philosophical masterpiece. Whether we’ve seen David Lynch’s nutty film, we’re at least aware that Sting and Patrick Stewart both starred in the disaster, and that spice (a hallucinogenic drug) plays an enormous role in the plot.

You might not know that 8 years before David Lynch’s DUNE came out, in the mid-1970’s, that an entirely different version was OH SO CLOSE to being made, from the Chilean psychedelic cult director Alejandro Jodorowsky, who practically created the midnight movie with EL TOPO and HOLY MOUNTAIN. This version was set to star Salvador Dali as the Emperor of the Galaxy. Orson Welles as the uber-fat, uber-villainous Baron Harkonnen. David Carradine as one of the leads. Mick Jagger had even signed on, and Pink Floyd was going to do the music for the world of Arrakis. The world and visuals came from H.R. Giger, Chris Foss and Dan O’Bannon. These “spiritual warriors,” as Jodorowsky calls them, would help shape the very future of science fiction with ALIEN. Despite never being made, Jodorowsky’s DUNE was everything.

Now, director Frank Pavich has crafted a masterful documentary (my gushing review can be found here), appropriately entitled JODOROWSKY’S DUNE, chronicling the wacky story of this almost-classic that never was, to enlighten the masses of one of the most fascinating “lost” films ever almost made. The movie comes out next Friday March 21st, to LA and New York before expanding across the country.

I recently had the chance to talk to Frank Pavich about his documentary and how Jodorowsky’s DUNE was a touchstone of science fiction, despite it never happening. In the following interview, we talk STAR WARS, BLADE RUNNER and play a game of what-if’s within the Hollywood landscape, discuss LSD, Hawaiian vacations, Mick Jagger, David Lynch, and everything in between.  Read on.

GREENE: How’s everything going with the film so far? What’s the next step with it?

PAVICH: So far, so good. We’re going to be in theatres March 21^st, so it’s really just trying to raise awareness of what’s coming out.

GREENE: It deserves a large audience, especially for the sci-fans out there, and if you can connect to that Comic-Con audience…

PAVICH: Exactly.

GREENE: Are you getting a limited release or a wide release?

PAVICH: It slowly grows. Starts limited, starts in New York and LA on the 21^st and then every week from there it spreads out through different cities. It basically goes as far as Honolulu, oddly enough. It really kind of hits the whole country.

GREENE: Well perfect. Hopefully there are a lot of DUNE fans in Hawaii.

PAVICH: I hope so, I hope so. That’d be good, right? I think I need to go to Hawaii to promote the film. Don’t you think that’d be necessary?

GREENE: I think so too, they need to comp you a trip there.

PAVICH: If you wouldn’t mind e-mailing or calling Sony and telling them that you think that, I’d really appreciate that. I could go for a nice tan. [Ed. Note: Sony hasn’t been answering my calls.]

GREENE: If I could come with, maybe I’ll do it.

PAVICH: I don’t see why not. If they’re going to buy one ticket, might as well buy a second one.

GREENE: The airlines might have a deal.

PAVICH: Yeah!

GREENE: How much did you know about Frank Herbert’s DUNE and Alejandro Jodorowsky’s DUNE film before picking this as your next project?

PAVICH: I came to the story from the Jodorowsky side. I came in as a big fan of his and knowing his films. So that was my introduction to this. When I first heard about this story, and I was like, “Oh, Alejandro Jodorowsky had a lost movie?” And not only that, but a lost movie that he basically completely realized; it wasn’t just a screenplay draft. He had a whole team working, and they were working for two years, and it was fully cast, and they had all these people attached. It was ready to go, every scene was drawn out on paper, the entire film from the first scene to the last scene. That’s what kind of first drew me to it, along with this amazing array of characters that he had involved. So really I don’t come from the DUNE side of things, I kind of approached it like he did, to a certain extent. I actually didn’t read the novel until I was on the plane, flying from New York to Paris to do our first interview with him. I feel like part of me didn’t want to jinx it. I wanted to follow his path. “I will make DUNE without having read it.” So I will make the DUNE documentary without having read it at that stage of the game. So my knowledge of DUNE all came as we were making the film, as we were doing our interviews. Which is kind of a great way to just immerse yourself into it.

GREENE: I think you did it right, I love it. That was one of my favorite parts in the film, when Jodorowsky wanted it to be his next project, yet he didn’t really know why, and hadn’t read the book.

PAVICH: Yeah, exactly. Something told him to make it that. That was it.

GREENE: So did you make it past the first 100 pages and beyond? It almost seemed like that was as far as Jodorowsky got.

PAVICH: Oh no, he’s read the whole thing. If you look at his screenplay, if you look at his book, it’s DUNE. There are certainly Jodorowsky flourishes in it, but it is almost an exact adaptation of the book. He’s just saying that it’s such a dense book, that in the first 100 pages, you don’t need any introductions to it, it’s complete. He considers it to be not just a pulpy, science fiction book, but he considers it to be great literature. He equates it to Proust and the classics. He knows it very well, for sure.

GREENE: Did you get a peek at Jodorowsky’s bible?

PAVICH: Of course. We shot it at his house and we animated directly from it. I know it quite well.

GREENE: I would’ve wanted to just take that thing. It’s like a rarified piece of treasure, it was awesome.

PAVICH: Oh yeah. There are only 2 left that are for sure in existence. He has one, and [Producer] Michel Seydoux has one. They think they made 20 when they came to the studios. Where those other 18 or so copies are is quite a mystery. It’d be great that when this movie comes out, people might come out of the woodwork. “I found this in my Uncle’s attic!” or “I found it in a box in the basement” or “It’s been on this shelf collecting dust for the past 40 years.” I figure those books must be somewhere. I’d be shocked if anyone would take a book of that size and throw it in the garbage. It’d be weird. Even if they don’t make the film, it’s like, “Wow, this is really cool to have.” If someone pitched it to me, I would keep it. It’s such an awesome thing to put on your shelf. It’s amazing.

GREENE: I think you have your sequel idea. The search for the missing bibles!

PAVICH: [laughs] The Hunt For The 18!

GREENE: I think I know the answer to this, but I’m going to ask anyways. Jodorowsky (above) is a goldmine of anecdotes and one-liners during the interviews. Is he any different off-camera or is he as wacky and wonderful as he seems?

PAVICH: Oh, it’s him. He’s completely genuine. He’s a performer, he’s a storyteller, but he’s not false. He gives you everything. There’s a video online [here], that I don’t know if you’ve seen, he entered his new film [LA DANZA DE REALIDAD] into a festival, in Montreal, and he could not make it to introduce the film, so he recorded a video that was played in the theatre before his film showed. It’s him completely nude sitting in a chair, talking to the camera, and explaining his film. He’s basically saying that in his new film, he exposed himself completely, spiritually, and mentally, for the audience. So now in his introduction, he’s completed it, and he is exposing himself physically, as well. He goes all out. No matter what he does, he goes all out. He’s incredible.

GREENE: I love that. It’s so admirable. It’s scary to Hollywood, unfortunately. Or it was. Though I think it still would be.

PAVICH: I think so. Although it’s weird. If you think about Hollywood…Hollywood was scared of Jodorowsky, because they were scared of losing money. That’s really all they care about. Is the money. They want a lot. They were scared to lose money. And he was ahead of his time. He came up with this idea of making this giant megabucks space opera before anybody, before STAR WARS and all that stuff. If you look at the timeline, here comes this really out there avant-garde director with this giant budgeted space opera and pitch it to the studios. They have no idea what to make of it. They have no idea. [As the studios] “The films you’ve made, EL TOPO and HOLY MOUNTAIN, don’t lend themselves to material like this,” and they don’t get the material, so they say no. Then a year or two later, STAR WARS is released, which is a film that 20^th Century FOX was not high on anyway. They thought it was dumb, they thought it wasn’t going to make any money. They were barely support of it. Little did they know, little did anyone know, what a huge blockbuster that would be, basically starting the blockbuster movement more or less. Then suddenly every studio wanted to make science fiction. There were sequels, they were bringing back STAR TREK onto the big screen, they were doing everything they could, anything in space, green lighting, “Go! Go! Go! Make money!” Then a couple years later, they decide to go back to the DUNE project, and who do they get but essentially a director very similar and very much in the vein of Jodorowsky himself. They didn’t get Spielberg to direct it, they didn’t get the Michael Bay of that time, whomever that might be, they got somebody very similar to Jodorowsky [one David Lynch]. In ’76, they thought it was stupid and “Oh, how could someone who made EL TOPO and HOLY MOUNTAIN make something like this?” But then in ’84, they get the guy who made ELEPHANT MAN and ERASERHEAD, to direct the biggest movie of its time. It cost $60 million. It was the biggest budgeted film yet. So suddenly they thought, oh we’re going to make money with this, they started preparing Paul Atreides action figures, and TOPPS trading cards, and coloring books, for children? This is not a kid’s movie. This is not a story for children, by any stretch. I don’t know who in the studio had read the script, had read the book, had been on set, had seen David Lynch’s films, but this is not aimed at kids. It’s a really weird thing that they tried to do. I don’t know who was not paying attention or what was going on over there. But it’s strange, because the studios came around and oh yes, we’ll do it now. It’s really bizarre. Really bizarre.

GREENE: The whole thing is bizarre. There’s even an element to it all that makes you angry. The movie is engrossing, entertaining, but it also drove me to fury. I kept flashing back to the scene in CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, when the archaeologists find a fossilized Creature claw and handle it like it’s any other rock you might find on the beach. You just shiver. The whole thing makes you feel a little dirty.

PAVICH: That’s interesting. That’s really interesting. Yeah, wow.

GREENE: Because of Hollywood’s treatment of Jodorowsky’s project. You mentioned you hoped Hollywood execs wouldn’t have thrown the bibles in the trash, but they kind of threw away this beautiful project away. Was this rage or frustration part of why you took on the film or was it a conscience effort in making it?

PAVICH: Before we started working, I was just more fascinated by it. How did such a thing happen? How did it get so far along? And it’s just so incredible. But the anger or frustration or whatever it is quickly dissipates, because when you spend time with Jodorowsky, you start to see how he feels about it. He feels that it worked out wonderfully. He has no regrets. He says he doesn’t feel that it’s a failure. He says it’s a great success. He did his version of DUNE, and here it is in the book and everything is completely realized, ready to go, and it’s wonderful. He wanted to change the world with his film as he said, he wanted to change history, and he basically did. His spiritual warriors went out into the world and took those ideas with them, and other ideas of his just somehow ended up in other films. He feels vindicated. He sees exactly what happened. Yes, I was right. My spiritual warriors, my team, were the best people. Their careers were made better. [As Jodorowsky] “My career went wonderfully, and I used my ideas, and put them in books, and put them in other films.” He has zero animosity toward any of it. Once you spend time with him, and you get that sense, you kind of agree with him. Why does it have to be negative? You don’t have spend your years crouched over, you can open yourself up to everything. As he said, “Yes we did not make DUNE. Yes, we did not make DUNE.” It’s beautiful. He has a beautiful outlook on everything.

GREENE: It’s inspirational. What others would qualify as a failure he doesn’t, and his spiritual warriors, like H.R. Giger, Chris Foss, Dan O’Bannon, they blew up.

PAVICH: Yeah, those people had never done movies before. That’s what so interesting. He wasn’t picking people based on movies; he was picking people based on their pure art. Giger had never done movies. Chris Foss had never done movies. Moebius had never done movies. They all went off to go make movies, and work in films, but he saw something special and unique in them. And he sought them out. They weren’t looking to get into the movie business, but he just saw their art, and was like “Oh, I want to work with this person.” They have incredible vision and we get to be together in this endeavor.

GREENE: It’s rare, because most directors that are making passion projects, they’re almost the opposite of Jodorowsky. They want what they want, and that’s that. Whereas Jodorowsky wants them to just play, go with what it is in their hearts and it’ll all work out, essentially.

PAVICH: He’s not trying to crush anybody, he’s trying to inspire them. To do great art. Chris Foss says that his only regret working on DUNE was that he didn’t realize what he had. He didn’t realize that working on a movie could be that free and that beautiful and that wonderful. Because the movies he did afterwards, he said were not like that. Working on ALIEN was very difficult. Working with Steven Spielberg on AI he found very difficult. He didn’t have that freedom that Jodorowsky provided.

GREENE: I know that it’s not really the point, and that you and he think he succeeded in his goal, and you’ve convinced me. But Jodorowsky actually says at the end of the film that he hopes someone takes his vision and makes his DUNE. I practically wanted to start a Kickstarter before I left the movie theatre.

PAVICH: [laughs]

GREENE: Do you think his vision of DUNE will ever come to life?

PAVICH: I don’t know if anybody will be able to make an animated version. I don’t know if a book of art would ever be able to be published. Who knows, that also comes down to the Frank Herbert estate, I would assume, because the underlying story is very obviously Frank Herbert’s. So, you’d have to get their permission and option it again, if they even wanted something like that. Time will tell, I guess we’ll see what happens with this documentary. If enough people get inspired, that could change the course of events.

GREENE: Speaking of changing the course of events, playing the “what-if” game is always fun with these projects. If Jodorowsky’s Dune had been made exactly how he wanted it, what do you think the impact of the film would’ve been? Would it have been STAR WARS before STAR WARS?

PAVICH: It’s interesting. If you look at the concept of a multiverse, there’s all the different parallel timelines you can look at. We know what happens when Jodorowsky got as far as he got and the film is not complete, and not made into an actual feature film. We know how this universe looks, and this timeline looks. But let’s say that he had successfully completed the film, and it was a success. Let’s say it’s the biggest success in the world and everybody was lining up around the block to see it and it was incredible. I wonder where movies would be now, because that would tell the executives, the financiers, the studios, that these kinds of bizarre, avant-garde Jodorowsky-ian, David Lynch-ian films are worthwhile. And maybe we would see more pure artistic visions, as opposed to moneymaking schemes, reboots, franchises, the kinds of stuff we get now. Maybe we would see more independent voices being allowed to really speak their minds. On the flip side, let’s say Jodorowsky’s vision of DUNE had been completed, and it was a disaster. Let’s say it was the biggest flop in the history of mankind. Only seven tickets were sold and it collapsed an entire studio. And it was the worst thing ever, nobody believed in it. Then where would we be? Because already at that point, George Lucas was working on STAR WARS, and he was at 20^th Century Fox, and 20^th Century Fox did not believe in STAR WARS. They thought it was a silly idea, “Who would want to see a space movie? This is ridiculous.” And of course we know what happened, STAR WARS came out and it was this mega-blockbuster and perhaps started this whole science fiction renaissance almost. Everybody was making science fiction movies. How many billions of dollars have the STAR WARS movies made? But if Jodorowsky’s DUNE had been a flop and seeing as FOX hadn’t believed in STAR WARS, they probably would’ve used that as their first excuse to pull the plug on STAR WARS. There wouldn’t be STAR WARS, there wouldn’t be the film landscape that we’re in now, for better or for worse. If that was the case, what would the big tentpole movies be every summer? They wouldn’t be STAR WARS type movies, probably wouldn’t be the AVENGERS or superhero films, it might be something completely different. Maybe it’d be Merchant Ivory films. Maybe everybody would be lining up to see period romances. Who knows? We’d be living in a different landscape, so it’s really interesting to imagine those.

GREENE: Oh yeah. You could just go for hours debating the possibilities or charting it like it’s TRUE DETECTIVE or something.

PAVICH: Yeah, exactly. And looking at the movies that DUNE is directly responsible for, obviously it brought the people together who made ALIEN. Which, in itself, transforms film history. If you look at the ALIEN sequels, that’s where James Cameron got his start. That’s where David Fincher got his start. All these voices got their starts in those films. If you look at Ridley Scott’s BLADE RUNNER, that changed science fiction history in another way. BLADE RUNNER never would’ve happened without Jodorowsky’s DUNE. Because Dan O’Bannon and Moebius met on DUNE and together they wrote a comic book called THE LONG TOMORROW. THE LONG TOMORROW is exactly the world of BLADE RUNNER. If you look at the designs in the book, it’s exactly what Sydney [Syd Mead, “visual futurist”] and Ridley Scott put up on the screens for BLADE RUNNER. There are so many things where the lines of history go back to this project. It’s astounding.

GREENE: Clearly, Jodorowsky was this seed of sci-fi, and it was going to spring forth, whether he made the movie or not.

PAVICH: Right.

GREENE: It’s great that this documentary exists because of that. I was with you, I hadn’t read Frank Herbert’s DUNE when I walked into the documentary. While I was well aware of DUNE, and had seen Lynch’s version, I had no idea about this lost film, and I think many people are in the same boat. That’s what makes this film and all its “what-if” scenarios and bringing to light all of its influences, so necessary. Especially for sci-fi fans.

PAVICH: I think so.

GREENE: Alright, now I have two very serious questions for you.

PAVICH: Excellent. Bring it on.

GREENE: Did you do LSD with Alejandro Jodorowsky?

PAVICH: You know, he lives a completely dry life. He doesn’t drink alcohol, he doesn’t do anything like that. He claims that he’s only done LSD one time in his life, that he paid $17,000 to a shaman in New York City to dye him on his trip. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but that’s what he claims. Actually I saw him last night, he’s in New York, and we spent a little time together. We sat in his hotel room and drank pineapple juice. That’s how he lives so long. If he was a drug-fueled madman, I don’t think he’d be with us today. He lives a very clean, very pure life. It’s very interesting.

GREENE: It’s not what you’d expect. But it’s another one of those things to admire about him. He can be so bizarre without having to rely on drugs.

PAVICH: Exactly. He is what he is. He has these spiritual visions with his projects, and that somehow just comes naturally to him. It’s amazing. But good question, I haven’t been asked that one before. Fantastic.

GREENE: Speaking of drug-fueled madmen, did you approach Mick Jagger to talk about the film?

PAVICH: You know, we didn’t, because he was such a minor player in this whole story, that it would’ve felt too much like stunt casting. If Mick Jagger was going to play the lead role in the film, that would’ve been different. If David Carradine was still alive, then we definitely would’ve approached him, or had him involved, or Orson Welles, or Salvador Dali. But I think Mick Jagger was such a minor thing, that it just would’ve felt false. I never appreciate documentaries that had that kind of stunt casting. “What is this famous person doing here that really has no connection to anything?” I went for a limited number of voices, which let’s you get to know each one of them on a deeper level.

GREENE: I totally agree, I was just curious.

PAVICH: Of course.

GREENE: We’ve kind of touched on it previously, but seeing Moebius, Chris Foss and H.R. Giger’s artwork come to life on film were some of my favorite parts. It’s just so beautiful. I got the sense that you could fill another 90 minutes of all the concept art produced by these guys.

PAVICH: If we had filmed Jodorowsky’s entire bible, the movie would’ve gone for over 20 hours like Jodorowsky wanted!

GREENE & PAVICH: [laughs]

GREENE: I think that covers most of it. I’ll make us both sound more intelligent, mostly me.

PAVICH: Excellent. [laughter]

The terms “nerd” and “fanboy” have started to lose all meaning amongst pop culture fanatics. They used to signify a certain type of person: insanely smart or ridiculously obsessed with something, but now they’ve become synonymous with “geek.” The nerds are fanboys and fanboys are geeks, and all three are something to be embarrassed about. (Apparently. I didn’t know that was a thing. Ask the normie’s.)

But way back when – a whopping 10 years ago – “nerd” and “fanboy” were two completely different brands of human. A nerd was someone “whose IQ exceed[s] his weight… The person you will one day call ‘Boss’,”* and a fanboy was “a passionate fan of various elements of geek [to be discussed momentarily] culture, but who lets his passion override social graces.”*

Nerds were known for their high intellect, glasses, suspenders and floods whereas fanboys were those socially inept, overweight dudes wearing their Dungeons and Dragon robes and sporting the ever-fashionable light sabers. But never at the same time, obviously. (Insert why-D&D/StarWars-could-never-co-exist-in-the-same-universe-fanboy-rant-here.)

So… exactly when did “nerd” and “fanboy” become the same thing?

I advocate: the Geek. If Nerd and Fanboy had a secret lovechild it would absolutely be the Geek; the bridge between the two. Here’s a great little chart* I found:

The “normie” is the average Joe (or Jane!): No particularly special technical skills, but socially successful. They can have a conversation, and come in a variety of styles from nice to douchey, to whatever else normal people are. Honestly, I’m probably the wrong lady to ask about that.

Nerds are honored with technical skills, but lack social artistry (being social is absolutely an art) and fanboys tend to have a general lack of social prowess out in the real world, but have great communication with each other (probably because they all speak Klingon instead of English.)

The poor dorks are the bastard child that no one loves; “Someone who does things that are kinda silly and not necessarily cool.”* Lezbie honest, (yes, I will continue to make as many PITCH PERFECT references as possible until the day I croak) we all know at least one dork: the guy who reads the dictionary for fun, the girl who edited her science book back in high school. Not necessarily technical, but not lacking social skills, either. Just a wee bit strange.

However, after a painful journey through the bullied and scorned, we can finally revel in the masterpiece that is the Geek. The perfect amalgamation of nerds and fanboys, with both technical and social competence, the Geeks must have gotten all the good genes from both parents.

“An outwardly normal person who has taken the time to learn technical skills. Geeks have as normal a social life as anyone, and usually the only way to tell if someone is a geek is if they inform you of their skills… A geek does not have to be smart. A geek is someone who is generally not athletic, and enjoys video games; comic books; being on the internet; etc.”*

With a deep appreciation for fanboy culture but lacking the general obsessive compulsive behavior that goes along with it (which scares everyone else off) and fairly adequate technical experience, the Geek has overtaken the social rungs of its predecessors and formed a new, all-inclusive group of misfits.

“Wouldn’t geeks be the product of normie’s and nerds, though? Why fanboys?”

Unfortunately, through our scientific testing and research we have come to find that the control group “normie” does not exhibit any of the necessary traits that are found in the Geek sub-culture, so we must exclude them in our results.

Translation: They don’t have any love or excessive excitement for video games, anime, comics, TV, etc.

The Geek sub-culture allows anyone who has even a stitch of nerd, fanboy, or [so help us] dork in them to connect and relate over our favorite hobbies and interests. Some may go a little too far (I’m looking at you, Cumberbatch fangirls) and some may not go far enough (Ian McKellan/Patrick Stewart shippers) but props go out to the Geekdom who works really hard at giving everyone an awesomely decorated place to bond and delight in our crazy.

Can you imagine the jungle gyms we’d build?!

*You can always count on Urban Dictionary. The chart was altered to include the fanboy category, and general punctuation and grammar were edited because let’s face it: Urban Dictionary is not the place for award-winning writing. http://www.urbandictionary.com/