Round 2 voting has concluded, and we have our first major upset. Here is your Muppets Elite Eight:

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That’s right: the Pig is gone. Let’s take a look at the voting, and pay tribute to the defeated Muppets with YouTube clips of some happier times.

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(1) Kermit the Frog (54%) defeats (4) Sweetums (46%)

Sweetums exits, but it was still an impressive little run he’s had. After winning easily in the first round over Lew Zealand, he gave Kermit just about all he could handle here. There’s no shame in losing close to the most famous Muppet of all. Since YouTube does not seem to have Sweetums’ clips from The Muppet Movie, his goodbye video is his duet with Ruth Buzzi, an accurate portrayal of true love:

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(2) Swedish Chef (67%) defeats (3) Pepe the King Prawn (33%)

Swedish Chef had no problem here, winning easily to move on to an Elite Eight battle against Kermit. I could see that one going either way. As for Pepe, we say goodbye with a brief introduction to self-defense:

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(4) Rizzo the Rat (59%) defeats (1) Miss Piggy (41%)

DOWN GOES PIGGY! DOWN GOES PIGGY! DOWN GOES PIGGY! The most incredible upset in Muppets history! The lack of exit polling means that we’ll never know for sure what undid Miss Piggy. Did voters find her voice grating? Has society turned on its divas? Or is it as simple as America responding to the uplifting story of a simple rat from New York? Started at the the bottom now we’re here, America.

As for Miss Piggy, she’ll be fine:

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(2) Animal (72%) defeats (3) Dr. Teeth (28%)

Domination here from Animal against his Electric Mayhem bandleader Dr. Teeth; with Janice also losing, Animal is the sole band member to survive into the Elite Eight. I thought he might be the favorite in this region, but can he keep it going against Cinderella Rizzo? NO ONE IS SAFE.

Anyway, goodbye Dr. Teeth:

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(1) Fozzie Bear (64%) defeat (4) Sam the Eagle (36%)

Fozzie keeps moving right along. Sam was the Muppets’ most patriotic and morally upright voice, but as Sam learns in this clip, sometimes the people just want their lady wrestlers:

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(2) Beaker (100%) defeats (3) Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (0%)

Well, wow. After five shutouts in Round 1, Beaker gets the only one of Round 2. I admit I lobbied pro-Beaker on Facebook, and fully expected him to win, but I did not predict this level of domination. Well done Beaker; think of it as a well-earned reward for countless experiments gone wrong. His victory sets up a battle of Titans next round: Fozzie vs. Beaker. No matter who wins, I must weep.

Let’s say goodbye to Bunsen with a look at his greatest invention: the Banana Sharpener.

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(1) Gonzo (57%) defeats (5) Janice (43%)

Janice was the sole upset in Round 1, and she made a strong push for what would have been the second earth-shattering result of Round 2 — but fell short. Her loss means Gonzo advances, but coupled with Miss Piggy’s exit, means the Tournament is a total sausage fest from here on out. Goodbye, groovy rock chick:

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(2) Statler & Waldorf (91%) defeat (3) Rowlf (9%)

We end with a surprising blowout. After Rowlf pulled a shutout in Round 1, I thought the balcony duo might at least be in for a battle here, but nope. I guess Rowlf’s earlier dominance was more about how people felt about Uncle Deadly, and he had nowhere near the momentum to unseat ol’ S&W. The cranky critics now face Gonzo, and I have to make them the favorites coming off this result.

As for Rowlf, he’s best known for being a brilliant piano player, but, he’s also my favorite veterinarian (sorry to one of my best friends, who is also a vet), so let’s say goodbye with Veterinarian’s Hospital:

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