When Peter Capaldi was announced, I was ecstatic. Not because I knew who he was (because honestly, I didn’t) but because he was so unlike any of the New Series Doctors. He was older, a bit wiser looking and there was something that was so exciting about getting back to a Doctor who wasn’t fresh out of puberty.

I stayed away from all spoilers (aside from new companion/villain casting) and I refused to read about the script leakage (Shame on them!) let alone go in search of the scripts themselves. I was bracing myself, I was ready, I was convinced it was going to be awesome season because I (stop your groaning) love Clara and wanted her to finally be able to step out of Amy’s shadow and maybe that could happen with a new Doctor. Unfortunately, that was one of the only things that happened in the Series 8 premiere that was worthwhile. (I don’t care what anyone says, Clara is awesome and the restaurant exchange between her and Capaldi’s Doc was phenomenal).

Now I know the premiere was a few days ago, but I controlled myself and didn’t watch it until I went to a proper screening last night with a lifelong Whovian (who like many others, is a diehard Tom Baker fan). But when leaving the surprisingly full AMC theatre, we were both shocked at how underwhelmed we were.

The story that this long ass episode tried to tell, was a hot mess. Starting with a dinosaur roaming Victorian England, ending with some funky-freaky incarnation of the Clockwork Androids from one of my favorite episodes of television ever (S02.E04 “The Girl in the Fireplace”, also written by Moffat) jumping out of the TARDIS and spearing himself to death. The episode was a disaster when it started and a disaster when it ended.

Like many of Moffat’s episodes since he took over as show-runner, it tried to do too much in a short amount of time and instead of blending together as one cohesive and intriguing mystery, it was too  many different ideas and not enough of any of them. Between the unnecessary dinosaur, Capaldi’s absolutely beautiful exchange with the homeless man, Clara being interrogated by Madame Vastra, and the Doctor and Clara trying to figure each other out at the same time as solving the mystery of “what the restaurant was”… It was just wrong and it did not work.

In addition to the many storylines that didn’t weave together, I, and I suspect many others, were also more preoccupied in figuring out this new Doctor and who he is (which became increasingly more difficult as the episode went on) rather than investing in the ridiculous story. The first episode with a new Doctor is always challenging to get through – whether it’s because you can’t let go of the last one (I’LL NEVER LET YOU GO, MATT SMITH) or because the Doctor has spent the majority of the episode passed out and regenerating (I’m looking at you, Tennant), but Moffat made it extremely difficult on us this time. Capaldi’s inner dialogue that was very much outer dialogue for the entire episode was beautiful and tragic and interesting…but is that really who this Doctor is? Answer: Apparently, given the closing scene between him and Clara.

All that being said however, Peter Capaldi did a wonderful job embodying our beloved Doctor. He had the weight of the world on his 2000 year old shoulders and commanded every scene he was in, not to mention his comedic timing and humor was just perfect (as was the writing for those particular moments: so many good one-liners and jokes, especially about being Scottish.)

But unfortunately again, none of Capaldi’s excellence in performance changes the fact that the problems in writing outweighed even the best of the funny. To add insult to injury, DOCTOR WHO has also become a bunch of green screen and CGI. I’m all about improving quality of TV, what? One of the great things about DOCTOR WHO was the kitschy sets and people dressed in monster-costumes, and now we’ve moved onto gigantic computer-generated dinosaurs and horrible shots of dead androids (which, by the way, were completely superfluous and crude for the nature of the show).

Basically it comes down to this: I have been Team Moffat since he took over DOCTOR WHO three series’ ago; I have stuck by him, defended him, and supported him but I’m starting to feel as if that time in my life is coming to a close. While SHERLOCK is only getting better, Moffat doesn’t seem to have a grasp on what he’s doing with DOCTOR WHO (although, I do love that they finally addressed the question of who gave Clara the TARDIS phone number) and I’m crossing my fingers that he doesn’t take us down yet another road that completely eradicates past storylines. He better make a big change and real fast if he expects to keep this particular Whovian happy.

Get it together, Moff, and quick.

Fan Cosplay of the 7th Doctor

That 16 year break gave the network, the show runners, writers they brought on board, and the fans at home a chance to reinvent the Doctor and modernize him in a way that may not have been possible had he remained on the air that entire time. Everyone was given a fresh perspective and outlook on a most beloved character and most fans seemed to be more than happy to have the Doctor back, regardless of who had been cast. Of course, there are always fan-based ideal casting choices; everyone has their preferences and that’s absolutely fine – the point here is that the majority of fans were just glad to have the Doctor on screen again – they’d take him anyway they could have him. And maybe it’s time for that again. Maybe if we say goodbye to the Doctor for a few years (five or even ten) when we bring him back we can revive him into a black man, or a middle-aged woman and it would be ok because people would be thankful just to have the Doctor back again. A hiatus spanning 3-5 years would give everyone – the writers, studio, and actors – a chance to really develop this new series starring a whole different brand of Doctor. It would offer those involved on the inside the opportunity to advertise and market this new Doctor however they saw fit in keeping with the tradition of who the Doctor was at [his] core, beneath all the scarves and fez’s. Now, I’m [surprisingly] not saying that a female Doctor specifically is the best, most awesome idea ever… But I am absolutely open to it if the time was taken to do it properly, with the right woman in the role and the right show-runner (who I do not believe is Moffat. My previous article on Moffat’s female characters notwithstanding. I do like him enough, but I’m not sure he would be able to change genders and lead a successful show, especially considering what he’s changed with the current one – which is everything.)

Fan Cosplay of the official 13th [Matt Smith] Doctor

Fan-made and AWESOME.

THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME. It seems a little off-beat and strange to think that Joss could direct something as dark and damaging as THOND (don’t make me type it out again, please.) But looking at his previous bodies of work, it actually seems quite fitting. He not only could produce a visually stunning piece of art, but he could really root us inside the story of a disfigured boy who’s trapped and condemned by a vicious judge in the mid-19^th century. What’s more, if told through Frollo’s point of view, I fully believe that Joss has the ability, skill, and drive to provide us with a character so complex and detailed that we would have no choice but to empathize with the man instead of the monster.

I just realized that SKY HIGH and STAR TREK were both filmed at Cal State Northridge’s Oviatt Library. So weird to see your school on the big screen.

SKY HIGH. A little known movie (that was supposed to have 3 sequels that were cancelled due to its unfortunate flop) that carts us around a world where superheroes exist, and teen “supers” go to a high school for superheroes. IN THE SKY. Awesome, awesome concept and with a little touch of Buffy-meets-THE AVENGERS magic, Joss Whedon could have made it an awesome, awesome film.

The ultimate weapon against vampires.

PINOCCHIO. The horror version. THE CABIN IN THE WOODS was Joss’s first feature length horror movie (though Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s S04E10 “Hush” still takes the cake for me) that combined all the elements of story-telling that has made him so popular: fantastical demons, technology you hope never comes to light, and such witty characters you wish he wrote your daily life. Now, imagine Joss Whedon’s horror version of PINOCCHIO. A wooden boy who terrorizes his “father” Geppetto and a small town (or big city?), until he’s finally murdered horribly at the end of the film. (Or not, you never really know with Joss.)

INSPECTOR GADGET. Joss has shown us his love of technological enhancements throughout pretty much all of his works (a few excluded), so it seems only natural that he should want to remake INSPECTOR GADGET. I’d kill for Film Noir Inspector Gadget (and knowing him, genderbent too).

THE SKELETON DANCE was an animated short from the 1920’s where skeletons danced and sang around a graveyard. Imagine THE SKELETON DANCE made in the same vein as DR. HORRIBLE’S SING-ALONG BLOG. Comedic, sweet, clever, and Nathan Fillion.

Jen and Sylvia Soska recreating The Shining’s iconic twinzies.

THE PARENT TRAP. Our top three beloved Scoobie’s all met their doppelganger at some point during Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s seven season run. Willow met her evil, alternate-universe vampire-Willow (S03E09 “The Wish” & S03E16 “Doppelgangland”), Xander met his twin when he was split in two in S05E03 “The Replacement, and even Buffy herself had a twin in the form of BuffyBot (though, a sexbot isn’t quite what I had in mind for THE PARENT TRAP.) Imagine Joss Whedon’s adorable long-lost-twins coming together in order to trap (and kill) their parents as a sacrifice to some ancient God, or whatever other reason you might want to come up with that doesn’t piggyback off CABIN IN THE WOODS. Point is: He would make those of us who don’t have an evil twin very thankful for it, and those of us do, really pissed.

TARZAN. So this one’s a tad odd to be sure. But imagine: live action Tarzan, raised savagely by apes. In the spirit of the original 1918 story, he attacks a village that has settled in the area in revenge (they killed his mama ape) becomes known as “an evil spirit,” and is then hunted by the remaining settlers. How and if Joss chooses to bring in Jane Porter is a question for debate: is this a love story, or a story about our misunderstood hero? At the end of the original tale, Tarzan doesn’t get a happy ending – Jane ends up with another man – and we all know how Joss loves to kill our dreams (read: Firefly) so that part we’ll just leave open ended and always wonder how he might have managed to wrap up Tarzan’s heartbreaking story.

Concept art by Tae Young in Choi, Korea.

ATLANTIS. I’m not really sure this even requires an explanation. Anyone who wouldn’t want to see Joss Whedon’s take on ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE should die by machete (he provided the story for the animated feature). A mysterious culture that’s been lost undersea for ten thousand years, whose survival is powered by a magical force and protected by a warrior princess? Still not sure why this hasn’t already been made.

Joss will be busy filming and finishing AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON for the next year or so, but you can find me sitting in a dark corner of my apartment brooding and blubbering and waiting for the day that he brings my hopes and dreams to life (hopefully not to kill them off or mutilate them horribly) by remaking a Disney film. And really, at this point, any one of them will do. Ancient Gods, please don’t let my Whedon/Disney ship sink, but oh god please do find a new ship name, because Wheney and Jisney are not good.

SHERLOCK and DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS ABOUND

Anyone who has had a five-minute conversation with me, has read any of my blogs, or has even looked at me knows I’m a feminist. I make no secret of it since I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of. Do I want to over-throw the men of power and use them all as slaves (sex or otherwise)? No, no I don’t. Do I want all people to be treated and paid equally with the same constitutional rights? Absolutely, yes. So I can only hope everyone hears me when I say: I don’t see Moffat’s so-called sexism and misogyny in his shows. His personality could sure use some help, but he has created quite a few strong and successful women during his tenure running DOCTOR WHO and SHERLOCK.

The women of focus here are the most prominent in both series:

WHO-DOC: Amy Pond, River Song and Clara “Oswin” Oswald

SHERLOCK: Molly Hooper, Mrs. Hudson, Irene Adler and Mary Morstan

Amy Pond was one of my least favorite companions (trumped only by Martha Jones who was a waste of space, goddamn her). I found Amy annoying and Karen Gillan’s portrayal of her boring (nothing against Karen, I don’t dislike her at all) – and I still just can’t get past how she treated her future hubby Rory in Series 5. However, she was a good character. My nit-picking (and crazy love of Rory notwithstanding) had nothing to do with how she written, but more how she was acted. As far as characters go, she may have had an unhealthy fascination with The Doctor during her first series as a companion (as evident by trying to make-out with him the night before her wedding… Little did she know, she’d be mama in-law one day.) but she was a witty, strong-willed, competent character. She believed in The Doctor (who doesn’t?) but she believed in herself, too. (re: Riddell: “This is a two-man job! What are you doing?” / Amy: “I’m easily worth two men. But you can help if you like.”) My turning-point episode, The Girl Who Waited, is seen as one of Moffat’s more controversial episodes (Amy gets stuck in a different time-stream than Rory and The Doctor and has to wait like, 35 years, for them to pull her back into their time-stream. She becomes a badass warrior and survives on her own the entire time. The episode ends with Future-Amy being left behind to, presumably, die while The Doctor and Rory save Current-Amy. If you’re confused… It’s all just wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff. Go watch the show.) I happened to love the episode and it’s one of the few that really made appreciate how strong Amy was (and what all the crazy-Amy-loving-fans are obsessed with). She showed such resilience, and an unwillingness to give up at any cost which she then carried with her until the end of her run as a companion in Series 7. WATCH: “The Girl Who Waited”, “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship,” and “Angels Take Manhattan”

Few words can really show my deep love and connection with River Song (AKA Melody Pond, AKA Amy and Rory’s daughter who was raised in a different time stream, brainwashed to be a psychopathic assassin whose sole purpose was to kill The Doctor, and who decided instead, to fall in love with – and marry! – The Doctor.) Sexy, a master marksman, part Time-Lord, she is DOCTOR WHO’S answer to if Black Widow and Zoe Washburne (re: FIREFLY) had a lovechild. River Song was not only stubborn as an ox, she was brassy, just as clever as The Doctor, and (though not surprisingly) more logical than The Doctor (because most everyone is, really.) I can’t help but think that those who call Moffat’s female characters weak and shallow have never watched a single River Song episode. WATCH: “The Wedding of River Song,” “The Pandorica Opens,” and “The Name of the Doctor”

As for Clara “Oswin” Oswald, she is the closest we’ve gotten to any of the original WHO companions. She’s clever, loyal, impassioned and serves as a conscience to The Doctor when he can’t seem to find his. While that may not help her [or my] case (it could make her seem as if she’s only there to fill the role of the obligatory female companion), once Moffat reveals at the end of Series 7 that Clara has been watching over The Doctor since he initially stole the TARDIS how many hundreds of years ago, you realize that this companion, this girl, has been protecting him and guiding him since day one. She’s already saved him from how many threats, and we get to see her save him from himself on more than one occasion. WATCH: “Journey to the Center of the TARDIS,” “The Name of the Doctor,” and “50^TH Anniversary Special: The Day of the Doctor.”

Molly Hooper. Lovely, nerdy, smart, frumpy, socially awkward Molly Hooper. The one that mattered most. She literally saved Sherlock’s life. While Molly Hooper has spent basically the entire run of the show thus far pining after our beloved sociopath, she is shown to be intelligent in her own right. Looking at the little bit of information we know about her personal life (she has tried to connect with Sherlock on multiple occasions, “…[my father] was always cheerful, he was lovely. Except when he thought no one could see. I saw him once. He looked sad.”) She’s observant, understanding and warmer than anyone gives her credit for. While sure, those are all considered “feminine” traits, by the end of Series 3 she’s had enough of Sherlock’s shit (ZING!), and sees right through him. She might still appreciate his genius, but is done with his attitude – which for a person like Molly (shy, introverted, unable to really stand up for herself), who’s been run over and ignored and put down by Sherlock basically the entire first two series – it’s a huge mark of strength for her to take a stand against someone she cares so much about, slap him across his face (how she didn’t cut herself on Benedict Cumberbatch’s cheekbones, I’ll never know), and tell him she’s ashamed of his actions. WATCH: “The Reichenbach Fall” and “His Last Vow”

The second great, supporting female character we get from SHERLOCK is the infamous Mrs. Hudson. She’s older, has had some life experience, is a bit of a proper English lady (save for the drug running and stripping from her more youthful days). She acts as a Wendy to the Lost Boys of 221B Baker Street. Another “feminine” character, she’s protective, loving, optimistic, open to any lifestyle (her upstairs tenant Mrs. Turner has married ones, after all), and she encourages dysfunctional brothers Sherlock and Mycroft to connect as much as possible. While she may not be a gun-toting badass, she portrays a very real older woman that would serve as landlady to this quite ridiculous group of overgrown children. The ability to create a realistic and relatable woman is hard enough, but Moffat succeeds in doing so even through all his sexism. WATCH: “A Study in Pink,” “A Scandal in Belgravia,” and “The Empty Hearse”

Ms. Irene Adler. The Femme Fatale to Sherlock’s PI. One of the biggest criticisms I’ve been privy to regarding the ever-elusive Ms. Adler is that she admits to John Watson that she’s gay, yet she’s believed to be in love with Sherlock Holmes, who is in fact, not a woman. I seem to be the only person who doesn’t have a problem with this. The term “gay” is, unfortunately, thrown around very loosely. Those who identify as bisexual (as well as pansexuals, queers, and every other category there is to describe someone’s sexuality) are most often referred to as “gay.” By Irene responding to John’s: “I’m not actually gay!” with a: “Well I am.” that doesn’t necessarily mean that she is strictly attracted to women. She was a dominatrix by trade, and made mention of quite a few of the men whom she had taken in for some kinky fun. Maybe Irene was merely making a point to shock John? Maybe she leans more towards women than men when it comes to romantic relationships. Either way, there is no reason for all the crazies out there to plot Moffat’s death by axe for making her a “bad” lesbian when he himself has said, “It’s love among the mad. He’s a psychopath, so is she.” WATCH: “A Scandal in Belgravia”

Lastly, we’ve got the killer for hire, trained assassin (my Spidey-Sense in tingling. Didn’t we just cover this one?) Mary Morstan. Anyone with half a brain can conclude from this psycho’s story that she is anything but weak. She’s prepared to kill Sherlock (probably not the best example) to protect John from finding out the truth about her past. She made a conscious decision to leave that life of murder and mayhem behind her because she fell in love with someone. That, to me, is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength to abandon the only thing you’ve ever known in order to pursue something (or in this case someone) that may not work out after all is said and done. Mary Morstan was cunning and manipulative which maybe are not two of her finer traits but she was also brilliant and resourceful – all things she shared with River Song. WATCH:  SHERLOCK Series 3

The complex, powerful and witty women Moffat (and Gatiss!) created were not one-dimensional sticks in the mud, but rather an ode to all the different women we have in the world. Each one was unique and tenacious in her own right, and I cannot fathom all the hate for these characters, and for Moffat himself. His unfortunate and unabashed misogynist comments that are circulating the internet have seemingly tainted the wonderful women he’s created, giving those anger-challenged folks at home fuel for their witch hunt. While I disagree with Moffat’s public persona (after all, we know how this crap can get twisted), I cannot and will not condemn him for “weak” female characters.

**None of this is to say that he doesn’t employ – or even over-use – some cliché attributes in each woman, but I think more than that the entire issue of his “weak” female characters is really an issue of femininity-vs-masculinity, and that’s a whole different conversation in and of itself.

An avid BBC fan, when SHERLOCK came out my initial reaction was to die of excitement before ever even watching a single episode. Then I watched it. Then I became obsessed. It’s brilliant, clever, interesting, full of talented – and beautiful! – actors, it’s superbly written with great characters and character development, and every episode is unique and charming. How could anyone not love SHERLOCK? Moreover, how could anyone watch ELEMENTARY when SHERLOCK is out there?

And then I watched ELEMENTARY. And then, again, I became obsessed.

ELEMENTARY, like SHERLOCK, is full of intrigue and mystery and some quite fabulous characters. Set in modern-day New York with a former-doctor-turned-sober-companion-Watson, it’s a well-known fact that the creators of ELEMENTARY worked extremely hard in differentiating themselves from SHERLOCK and they did quite an extraordinary job, really.

While ELEMENTARY is designed for primetime American TV and has many of the same qualities of an CSI-type show, it captures the charisma of Holmes and Watson at their best. Combining the classic elements of the Sherlock Holmes we all know and love, he’s been through hell and back fighting addiction and is now sober working as a consulting detective with the NYPD.

There’s no doubt that SHERLOCK is truly a gift to television, but lately I’ve actually started to wonder if I don’t like ELEMENTARY’s Holmes/Watson more. (For confusion’s sake, here on out they will be referred to by the actors last names – SHERLOCK’s Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, ELEMENTARY’s Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu – because it’s super difficult however way you spin it.)

I do quite firmly believe that SHERLOCK is a superior show in most aspects: the stories, the acting and the technical merits are all far above that of ELEMENTARY, however in getting to know Miller and Liu, I find their relationship much more satisfying than that of Cumberbatch and Freeman.

SHERLOCK’s entire schtick is that Cumberbatch is the smartest man in the world and Freeman is just his sidekick; Cumberbatch solves the case, Cumberbatch is endearingly self-involved, Cumberbatch walks all over Freeman (and Freeman lets him), Cumberbatch is oblivious and for all intents and purposes, pretty douchey. We see and understand that he cares about Freeman and his “high functioning sociopathy” is quite a key point in all of this (though I tend to believe the Aspergers theory more than the sociopath one). But the point is, we the audience forgive him because he’s a genius and it’s clear that he loves Freeman!…right?

ELEMENTARY, however, actually shows Miller loving Liu. Not in any romantic way (sit down quietly, JohnLock shippers. SHERLOCK’s gay love is not the point of this post!), but in a true sense of the word friendship. While Miller is of a genius-level IQ, he doesn’t rub it in Liu’s face every episode, or consistently make sure that everyone knows that he’s so clever and they’re so idiotic.

Miller treats Liu as an equal, teaches her (HER!) how to be a consulting detective, gives her lessons and reading and even gives her cases to figure out herself. When she needs help, he doesn’t put her down, but he helps her find the answer for herself. When she goes through a crisis, he is there for her. Miller offers to accompany Liu to visit a grave of someone she knew, he sits and keeps her company with her when she’s upset, he reaches out and talks to her about her feelings, and more importantly, his.

Yes, again, I understand about the sociopathy and Cumberbatch makes quite a few enormous sacrifices for Freeman, but do those life-threatening experiences excuse his crass behavior every other minute of every other day? Cumberbatch and Freeman have some sort of bond, some sort of love between them that doesn’t make sense and that we accept whole-heartedly because of their undeniable chemistry, but looking at their friendship outside of Moriarty’s ultimatum or Magnussen’s threats, Cumberbatch’s Sherlock is seemingly incapable of showing any real affection to Freeman’s Watson. All this being said, there was huge progress in Season 3 because of the nature of the story arc, but it just felt as if it wasn’t enough; especially when I have an equally clever and exciting, really beautiful Miller/Liu relationship to compare it to.

Is ELEMENTARY a better show? No. Do I like it more than SHERLOCK? Hell no. But I do very much appreciate how Miller/Liu’s Holmes and Watson relationship was crafted to resemble that of a partnership and not a dictatorship. Now here’s to hoping they don’t ever ruin it* with romantic feelings and an absurd love story.

*“It” being ELEMENTARY’s Holmes/Watson. There is no arguing with JohnLock. Partially because they’re totally gay for each other, but mostly because fangirls will murder you if you try. [See Tumblr for more information. Tread carefully.]