Over the last week, we’ve been reminiscing about the first X-MEN, what became of the franchise from there, and the importance of the X-MEN comic books. The X-MEN movie and comic franchise

Sira delivered her immediate thoughts on X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST last week. Now it’s mine and David’s turn to chat about Bryan Singer’s latest tale of mutant woe, touching on a variety of topics.

Beware, this be as SPOILER-FILLED as X-MEN has continuity holes.

Overall Impressions

David: I was a very big fan of the movie. I thought it hit so many of the right notes, capturing both the bleakness of the future timeline and the urgency of the past. I didn’t like how the plot did some aggressive hand waving to get past the “how” of this time travel occurs — especially since giving Kitty these vague powers was such a departure from, well, any talent Kitty has ever displayed in any medium. But it didn’t impair my overall enjoyment; the mechanics were secondary to the characters themselves, and those were nailed better than perhaps any X-movie ever has.

Andy: I don’t know what it is, because I know Days of Future Past is probably the best X-Men movie to date, but something felt off. Maybe it’s because I had to sit in the front row, or maybe it’s because I’m never truly happy or satisfied. Maybe because it made all other X-movies obsolete. More on that later, but I will say that this felt more like an X-MEN movie than perhaps any of them to date, that Singer managed to juggle two franchises and very nearly tied them together into a bow. The movie had no downtime, was thrilling throughout, and felt epic without necessitating endless scenes of destruction porn normally accompanying such a grand scale in a Hollywood blockbuster.

Thoughts on retconning the entire original trilogy

David: I think I liked it. The various continuity errors that the cinematic X-universe has suffered (and there were many) were never super important to me; I just wanted good stories that made sense within that film; even if, for instance, Charles met Erik a little later in life in First Class than he had said in X-Men. But I still respected the effort this movie made to resolve it all. Most studios wouldn’t have given a shit if there was internal consistency throughout the movies, so at least trying is something I respect, even if I didn’t think it was necessary. And I will still enjoy watching X-Men and X2 even if they officially “never happened”; I might even rest a little easier knowing X3 didn’t.

Andy: It rubbed me the wrong way, even if it’s for the best, and I knew it was coming. It seemed pretty clear that the Days of Future Past time travel element would be used to create a new present and re-write whatever FOX and Brett Ratner did in X3, but I don’t know if I was prepared for how completely they did. The retcon’s execution felt perfectly in the realm of what Marvel would do, and has done, with X-MEN and their characters, so really, it’s one of the most comic book-y things that the franchise has ever done. And by doing so, FOX now has possibly two X-Men franchises going concurrently, with the past-Men starting the X-Men and the school and because the future has changed, a chance to redo the Phoenix Saga (in a way in which Jean survives), and meet a younger Storm (Lupita Nyong’o!), Jean Grey and Scott Summers that have emotional depth and dimension. And the future-men can do whatever the hell we want, should they so choose, giving a chance for Wolverine to lead Iceman, Shadowcat, Colossus, Rogue, Blink, Sunspot, Bishop, Warpath, and whomever to have their moments. I’m happy that X-MEN: THE LAST STAND never happened, but was it so bad that it needed to wipe away every other movie, including The Wolverine, which aside from a crappy ending, was actually a pretty good flick precisely because of the effect Jean Grey’s death had on Logan? In many ways, X-Men was one of the more important movies of my childhood (and in Hollywood history), and now, for all intents and purposes, it doesn’t really exist anymore.

Wolverine’s Expanded Role

David: I was among those who complained a little after the first X-Men that Wolverine had too large of a role at the expense of the rest of the team. But I’ve long since gotten over it. As Andy pointed out in his Autobiography in Movies, Hugh Jackman as Logan was one of the greatest, most inspired casting moves in superhero movie history. And we’re running out of chances to see him nail that role, so why not just accept and enjoy it? Besides, more so than in X-Men, I thought they balanced the movie with plenty of great moments for the supporting cast. There was only one thing that made me regret that Wolvy was the one sent back in time, which I’ll discuss later.

Andy: It would’ve been nice if Kitty could’ve somehow come along for the ride with Wolverine (because if we’re inventing powers, that would’ve been more fun), but since they hadn’t established much of a relationship at all in the movies, that might not have worked. But it could’ve mirrored the relationship between Rogue and Wolverine in the first X-MEN. If Rogue wasn’t so clearly out of the question for many reasons (she’s cured/sucks/it makes no sense), I might’ve wanted to see her make the trip with Wolvy, because their relationship was one of the best and most realistic things we saw in the original trilogy. Anyways, I don’t have any problem with Wolverine being the central focus of the action. That’s just how it’s going to be, and Wolverine is the most fully formed character the entire franchise has, thanks to Hugh Jackman being one of the few consistent elements. It would’ve been supremely effective/badass for him to have died as David mentions. At least him being forced to carry the burden of this alternate future, while not knowing the new past/present, is something that totally fits into the tragic element of Wolverine’s character. Of course Jean Grey is back…and of course Scott Summers is still in the way.

Favorite Character (Major)

David: Magneto, 1973 version. A few ways I could go there, as this was such an incredible, deep cast of actors who nailed their roles. But for the second time, Michael Fassbender just destroyed that role. I don’t think any superhero movie villain has ever so perfectly hit the note of destructive actions while believing himself to be acting justly. Meaning, in short, he WAS Magneto, making us *feel* why he’s one of the best villains in comics history.

Andy: I don’t want to be redundant, because Fassbender’s Magneto is the answer. In what might be the best cast ever, Fassbender delivers the best performance by far (I love that he altered his voice slightly knowing McKellan would be in the film). His decisions are infuriating, maddening and insane, but it’s so Magneto, and so scary to behold, because there’s no greater threat, even next to Sentinels that have wiped out the mutant race in the future. I will say that James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart’s Professor X had more synergy and impact together than the two Magneto’s, not only because they shared a scene together, but I felt like I was witnessing their journey. We didn’t really get to see enough of Ian McKellan’s older Magneto, beyond him watching Kitty Pryde at work (thrilling). I loved his sad and heroic death scene, and his final words regretting his actions…but I don’t know if they quite had the impact that I wanted them too, because I felt a slight disconnect between the two versions of the characters, or didn’t quite believe the transformation, since we hadn’t seen any evidence of it before his last moments.

Favorite Character (Minor)

David: A lot of fans are going Quicksilver here, and not without reason; they nailed him. But I have to say my girl BLINK. Honestly, I had forgotten how much I loved that character until I saw her in live action for the first time. Chinese actress Bingbing Fan had the perfect look, and her action scenes were visually stunning and thrilling.

Andy: Storm! Just kidding. I will go with PietroPeter/Quicksilver in lieu of other options. Most of the other secondary characters just sort of exist and look pretty, or are walking plot devices (Kitty Pryde), but Quicksilver stole the show for the brief few scenes he was in, and gave the festivities much needed brevity (“My Mom knew a guy who could control metal” was simultaneously the best and worst line of the entire movie). I will say that once they found Quicksilver and got him to help…it made no sense not to use him to do everything else in the movie. But I get why that’s not how it worked out, because it would’ve been far easier that way, and all urgency/tension would’ve dissipated. I expect a X-Men: Days of Future Past in the eyes of Quicksilver parody at some point.

Least Favorite Character (Minor)

Andy: Ink, because yes, he was in this movie (and he apparently exists), as the pale white bald dude with what looked like a Phoenix tattoo on his eye. Or it’d be Colossus, because he still looks super fake, and still never gets lines. Plus, I want this to happen at least once.

David: Havok. Not that his 17 seconds of screen time in this movie had anything wrong, but they reminded me how much I disliked him in First Class. The reason I didn’t like First Class as much as a lot of people is because I thought the supporting characters were almost all awful, and I didn’t love seeing any reminder of that.

New Characters

Andy: While Blink was one of the most perfect translations from comic book to movie in terms of appearance and visuals (the portals were glorious), and Bishop was also high up there in those respects, the new mutants (Blink, Bishop, Sunspot and Warpath) were essentially CGI set dressing. Did Sunspot even have a line? They were there to die spectacularly at the beginning and the end. They looked beautiful in doing so, and I honestly have no real problem with it, since the movie was overstuffed as is, but I think it’s still the symptom of what doomed the X-MEN franchise in the first place. It’s so hard to say no to all the mutants, because there are so many awesome ones we want to see, but the impact is lost, or the result is several two dimensional mutants.

David: I can’t really think of any new characters I particularly disliked, or at least any significant ones (Ink was dumb, as you said, but he didn’t matter enough for me to care). I loved the New Mutants group in the future. They may not have been three-dimensional characters, but they weren’t needed/intended to be anything other than awesome action additions. And they looked GREAT. I don’t think the X-movies failings were ever about using too many characters. I think it was always as simple as losing the story at times or relying on two-dimensional characters to be something they weren’t. This movie balanced that better than any of the others by a decent margin.

Biggest Complaint

David: Honestly, it’s fairly minor complaints for me, but there were two things missing from this movie that really would have kicked it up to 11 for me. One would have been a shot in the future of the infamous wall of mutant targets from the cover of X-Men #141 (above), the first part of “Days of Future Past.” Given that it might be the most homaged cover in comics history, I was disappointed it didn’t make it in the movie. Two, the downside of having Wolverine be the one to go back in time, with him waking up in the future being the end of the time travel, was that we didn’t get the most breath-taking moment of the comics story: his death by incineration by a Sentinel. The future deaths we did get were still incredible, but I think that one would have brought the house down.

Andy: The plot was heavy-handed and ridiculous (Kitty’s powers), but I got most of the reasoning behind the choices. 1973 Xavier couldn’t have his powers, because it would’ve been all too easy for him to stop Mystique, Trask or Magneto before the threat ever got out of hand/Magneto got his helmet. The handy serum from Beast didn’t make a ton of sense, but whatever, I dug the drug addiction parallels, and I liked that Xavier was sacrificing his gifts to walk again. It’s such an incredulous decision, but it shows how damaged and withdrawn he’s become.

The Stryker addition was very effective if only for the Wolverine scene and the ending with Mystique, but his involvement with the franchise is so confusing at this point, that I had no idea why he was there, why he was so anti-mutant, etc. We know his motivations have to do with his son, and it also doesn’t really matter in the scheme of Days of Future Past, but I kinda just am over Stryker.

I LOVED everything we got with Jennifer Lawrence and Mystique…and think she’s done wonders in this role. I get that she’s the female Wolverine/Hugh Jackman, in that Mystique has become a huge character because an Oscar winning global phenomenon plays her, but Singer and company have done such a great job of justifying why. It makes so much sense that her DNA is what was used to make the Sentinels so damn formidable (although I guess Morph’s DNA would’ve been more apt), and she was the assassin who killed Senator Kelly in the comics and propelled the alternate future forward. I hated how Xavier treats Mystique in the first film; he deserved to be abandoned, because he treated Raven like a child and lumped her with Havok, Angel and the rest, despite Xavier GROWING UP WITH HER. The second film serves up some retribution to Xavier, while he also finally realizes how big of a dick he was. I love how mercurial Mystique is, that she’s not Magneto’s sex slave or #2, that she’s on her own, with her own motives, making her own decisions, and how dangerous they’ve made her, even as an misunderstood anti-hero. BUT, and this is where the complaint comes in: while Mystique is such an important character in this movie, we get that from Xavier and Magneto’s perspective, and not really her own. Perhaps that’s due to the nature of her powers. After all, it’s really hard to get scenes from her POV; even when she’s the central focus, she primarily looks like someone else. The Magneto/Xavier relationship dynamic is the boon of First Class and this film, and the explosive addition of Mystique into that triangle is brilliant/interesting, especially since she’s not merely a love interest…but I don’t know if her character really stands on her own. We see everyone trying to reach her, trying to get her to do things, and never really get inside her head, or get a moment to see her for who she really is. That’s the mystique of her character, I suppose, but I also think more screen time and focus on her character could’ve made it incredible, and give her heroic choice at the end even more emotional resonance.

Where does the film rank in the X-Men franchise canon?

David: It’s close between X2 and Days of Future Past, and I’ll need to see the latter more than once to say it definitively, but right now, I’m going with Days of Future Past as the best one of all. It so captured the desperation of the X-Men when they’re at their best, the darkness of that world and the greatness of its characters.

Andy: TBD. It could be anywhere from #1 or #4. I don’t even know how I’d rank the other films beside it, but I’m thinking I’d rank it #2 after X2.

How about that post-credits scene?

David: Given that we already knew the title of the next movie is X-Men: Apocalypse, it shouldn’t have had so much effect on me, but my god did it get me excited. Apocalypse, despite some missteps in stories over the years, is still my second-favorite X-villain, and I just cannot freaking wait to see him in action. I thought it was smart to show him as a boy (though he was older in the comics when he came into his own) so we could get a glimpse at our Big Bad while still leaving the real casting open.

Andy: I loved this. It looked rushed CGI-wise, but hearing the En Sabuh Nur chant, and seeing the four horsemen, got me tingly. Before it happened, I joked that perhaps it’d end like Avengers, with a blue guy the general public doesn’t know grinning to the camera. I would’ve laughed, but thankfully that didn’t happen. I can’t wait to see the Apocalypse story set in the 1980’s, and whatever my thoughts on Days of Future Past, there’s no denying that the X-franchise is in as good a position as it’s been since after the first movie. Most of the baggage is jettisoned, and now creativity (and hopefully characterization) can flow. Of course, given the bright X-future we’ve seen and knowing Apocalypse takes place in the 80’s, does that lessen the stakes?

Four Horseman of the Apocalypse Predictions

Andy: Four of the following: Archangel, Mystique, Mr. Sinister, Dark Beast, Banshee (I don’t think we saw his death certificate in Trask’s lair), Havok, Psylocke, Caliban and Domino, in order of likelihood. As long as Toad is nowhere near the running. Hell, maybe young Storm, Jean and Scott will make up three quarters of it (and maybe we’ll figure out how Havok exists). It’d be a helluva way to introduce them.

David: When Apocalypse debuted in the 1980s in X-Factor, he just had four original horsemen without using any prior characters. I think trying to get four “name” horsemen might make things too crowded, or cause the impact to be lessened when Apocalypse does try/force one X-Men to become a Horseman. So I predict we get three generics, with an X-Man becoming Death. And that X-Man will be…well, probably Wolverine, since Jackman is softening on the next Wolvy movie being his last appearance as the character.

Mutant You Most Want to See

Andy: Cable?

David: In order: Young Storm, Mister Sinister, Cable, Shadow King, Nightcrawler (somehow)

Andy: We need a Storm spin-off (again, starring Lupita) in which she takes on Calypso and the Morlocks. Mostly because of that mohawk.

I have so many thoughts on Bryan Singers’ long awaited third installment of the X-Men franchise. Most of these thoughts are fangirling because it finally came into theatres, but there’s a few good thoughts that are actually coherent opinions, so we’ll see how far we get into those before fanbrain takes over. DAYS OF FUTURE PAST took us from a dystopian future where the Sentinels have all but destroyed both mutants and their human allies back to 1973, ten years after the events of FIRST CLASS. James McAvoy’s Xavier takes a serum that helps him walk but blocks his telepathy, Magneto (Michael Fassbender) is locked in a cement prison beneath the pentagon, and young Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) has gone rogue and is helping mutants escape the clutches of Tyrion—I mean  Trask—I mean Peter Dinklage?—with the intention of murdering him to stop his murder of the mutant race. (Because an eye for an eye is really the best way of solving everything, didn’t you know?) With a glimpse into the future of Sentinels that can evolve and adapt to any mutant power rendering them nearly unstoppable, Future Xavier and Magneto hatch a plan to send Xavier’s consciousness back in time to help change the past and prevent Mystique from murdering Trask and thus putting the sentinel program into overdrive. (It really does take effort to type “Trask” and not “Tyrion.”) However, apparently Logan’s ability to heal makes him the only one physically capable of making the trip (his brain can heal itself when fractured by his future consciousness taking over for his past consciousnss. LOL WAT?) so little Kitty Pryde (a non-monotonous Ellen Page!) uses Rachel Summer’s powers (not sure how she got those) to send Wolvie back to the past (that must have been writer Simon Kinberg’s apology. “Well, we have to send Wolverine back because he’s Wolverine, so let’s change Pryde’s power and storyline and instead of sending her back, let’s just give her the power to send him! Problem solved!”)

Once there, Jimmy/Logan/Wolverine hunts down Xavier who’s wallowing in self-pity and, I’m sure, a quite ripe-smelling mansion while Nicholas Hoult’s Beast takes care of [and coddles] him in his misery. Yadda, yadda, yadda, the plot progresses, fights happen, CGI, speeches, Magneto being a general boss, and J-Law speaking a variety of languages. Here are my high’s and low’s. High: My boo Joss Whedon once said, “Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.” And oh boy, did Singer and Kinberg nail this one. DOFP was full of emotionally charged characters, all with their own personal stakes in the game, (and the entire future of the mutant race); the film was darker than you might have realized, and almost uncomfortably intimate, but then every so often there was a look, or a joke, or a scene (Quicksilver, I’m looking at you!) that would make you belly laugh. High: And speaking of intimacy, what a nice change from all the world-is-ending-save-New-York-from-the-alien-invasion-oh-no-there-goes-half-the-city! Yes, ok, there may or may not have been some structural damage to the White House, but this film was not about taking over the planet, or destroying the human race: it was about saving the mutant race and the targets were a small, specific group of men – not an entire city or country. The big action battle at the climax of the film took place in the future, while the emotional struggle of how to prevent that future was the focus of the past. Low: Mystique was kinda boring. Aside from kick-ass action sequences (Mystique’s fight scenes have always been fab; the way they bring her stealth-ninja prowess to life continues to astound me), she was just not very interesting in this film. She had one purpose, one goal, and her personal conflict was not presented in such a way that you really felt for her and understood why she was being so ruthless. I mean, you definitely got it (especially when she was going through the research files and we caught a glimpse of her pain and anger) but her turmoil was overlooked and surpassed by everything else that was going on. Had Logan been given less emphasis and Mystique been given a little more, I might have felt a whole lot better about her presence and she may have been more than just a naked J-Law in blue body paint. High: The mutants of the future were so wonderful to see on-screen. Blink, Warpath, Sunspot and Bishop (Bingbing Fan, Booboo Stewart, Adan Canto and Omar Sy, respectively) were so well developed in terms of power-presentation. The FX felt remarkably natural and organic to the story and characters and it left you wanting nothing…except for them to have more screen-time. Low: Some of the other CGI needed some love. In particular, Mystique’s shape-shifting FX and the green-screen were shoddily done in more than one scene, and it unfortunately took me out of the story. High: Young Stryker. Getting to witness the beginning of Stryker’s involvement with the mutant phenomenon was surprisingly pleasant, but you never really knew where he was at emotionally. Low: Young Stryker…was surprisingly pleasant, but you never really knew where he was at emotionally. The movie-verse never established how old his son Jason (wannabe-Mastermind) was when he developed his powers, but DOFP specified that Jason was eight years old in 1973 so we can assume he is still perceived as human. Maybe it was a reflection of Josh Helman’s acting, or maybe I’m totally wrong about Jason “still being human” at eight years old, but there seemed to be times when Stryker was conflicted about Trasks’ plans to destroy mutants. I felt as if there were a few moments when Stryker was ready to object or defend mutants, but those moments were fleeting and ultimately forgotten. High: Two words. Peter. Dinklage. This man, I believe, is one of the great actors of his and our generation. He immerses himself so completely into every character he plays, and he transcends my expectations every time. Be it during Tyrions’ trial (EMMY AWARD PLZ) or during his speech in the Oval Office convincing the President to employ his sentinel program, Dinklage is such a power and presence in every scene he’s in. Low: Xavier’s serum was a little far-fetched for me. It gave him the ability to walk by changing his DNA (Hank’s serum did the same by hiding his blue fuzzies) and it also, coincidentally, blocked his telepathy. Someone, please explain to me, how changing your DNA gives you the ability to walk. Last time I checked, paralysis by gunshot wound was not a product of DNA. Am I wrong, science?

AWESOME.

High: The FX for Beasts’ change were so good. Low: If I have to watch Bobby get his head crushed, Colossus get ripped in half, Magento get a spear to the stomach, or my baby daddy Bishop explode again I’ll throw myself off a bridge. Rip my heart out one more time, assholes. Please. High: Fassbender and McAvoy. They have such charisma and chemistry together, it’s hard not to ship them. They play Magento and Xaviers’ tumultuous relationship to perfection and watching them ignite such a passion and fire of rage, pain, friendship and loss in the other is a gift. Low: Contrary to how I suspect many others might feel I did not enjoy the scene between young Charles and old Charles. There were so many other ways of getting young Xavier to believe in himself again, to believe in the future; it felt contrived to have old Charles impart words of wisdom onto his younger self – that he would the quote not five minutes later. While I loved seeing McAvoy and Stewart on screen together, there had to be another way to give young Charlie the strength to hope again.

High: QUICKSILVER. This dude. Just—damn. This dude. Evan Peters was perfect. Beyond hilarious, he really brought Pietro’s humor to life. While I’m excited to see a potentially darker side of him in MCU’s AGE OF ULTRON (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) next year, Peters was brilliant in what he did. The little nod to Magento being his father was on. Point. Low: The Maximoff TWINS. Apparently the little princess sitting on Peters lap was not Wanda, but if that’s true… Then where was she? High: The end. I almost started crying. Not because I’m such a girl that everyone survived and X3 didn’t happen (although boy is that the best part) but because you got to see the original cast again. Rogue with her gloves on and holding hands with Bobby, Kitty and Colossus teaching a class, Storm (ughhh) alive and well, Beast roaming the halls and fuzzy and dapper, and Jean and Scott in the office with the professor. It was all I wanted to see my cast together and know there was hope for the future. Was DOFP the best X-Men to date? I’m split 50/50. There were things I loved and couldn’t get enough of, but there were also certain things that were too underdeveloped, characters that weren’t given enough screen time, and story aspects that I could do without. Was it the best adapted story thus far? It was pretty interesting, yeah. Did it stray too far from the original DOFP plotline? An argument could be made either way but it was adapted to fit the film universes needs and adapted well, at that. Am I rooting for another X-Men film with the original cast? Always. Do I expect to get one? Not particularly, no because now they’ve been tied up in a neat little bow where everyone survived and got a happy ending. The next few X-Men films will more than likely focus on the events that changed between 1973 and 2000 that created the future we saw at the end of DOFP. Did X-Men and X2 actually happen? X3 sure didn’t (thank god) but I’d said it’s fairly open to interpretation if the original two films happened the way we initially saw, or if their events changed minimally (or possibly majorly). Additional X-Info: X-MEN APOCALYPSE is said to be set in the 1980’s, though it’s always subject to change, and Bryan Singer has for all intents and purposes confirmed that young Storm, Cyclops and Jean Grey will be featured in APOCALYPSE as the beginnings of the X-Men we met back in 2000. Gambit is supposed to fit in there as well but no one really knows how at this point. And yes, I do think Channing Tatum will be a fine Gambit. He’s got the swag, he’s a decent actor (I think he’s not given enough credit and I’m quite excited to see him in upcoming FOXCATCHER) and with the accent down and the right costume he’ll certainly look the part. Here, have some side-by-sides.

The terms “nerd” and “fanboy” have started to lose all meaning amongst pop culture fanatics. They used to signify a certain type of person: insanely smart or ridiculously obsessed with something, but now they’ve become synonymous with “geek.” The nerds are fanboys and fanboys are geeks, and all three are something to be embarrassed about. (Apparently. I didn’t know that was a thing. Ask the normie’s.)

But way back when – a whopping 10 years ago – “nerd” and “fanboy” were two completely different brands of human. A nerd was someone “whose IQ exceed[s] his weight… The person you will one day call ‘Boss’,”* and a fanboy was “a passionate fan of various elements of geek [to be discussed momentarily] culture, but who lets his passion override social graces.”*

Nerds were known for their high intellect, glasses, suspenders and floods whereas fanboys were those socially inept, overweight dudes wearing their Dungeons and Dragon robes and sporting the ever-fashionable light sabers. But never at the same time, obviously. (Insert why-D&D/StarWars-could-never-co-exist-in-the-same-universe-fanboy-rant-here.)

So… exactly when did “nerd” and “fanboy” become the same thing?

I advocate: the Geek. If Nerd and Fanboy had a secret lovechild it would absolutely be the Geek; the bridge between the two. Here’s a great little chart* I found:

The “normie” is the average Joe (or Jane!): No particularly special technical skills, but socially successful. They can have a conversation, and come in a variety of styles from nice to douchey, to whatever else normal people are. Honestly, I’m probably the wrong lady to ask about that.

Nerds are honored with technical skills, but lack social artistry (being social is absolutely an art) and fanboys tend to have a general lack of social prowess out in the real world, but have great communication with each other (probably because they all speak Klingon instead of English.)

The poor dorks are the bastard child that no one loves; “Someone who does things that are kinda silly and not necessarily cool.”* Lezbie honest, (yes, I will continue to make as many PITCH PERFECT references as possible until the day I croak) we all know at least one dork: the guy who reads the dictionary for fun, the girl who edited her science book back in high school. Not necessarily technical, but not lacking social skills, either. Just a wee bit strange.

However, after a painful journey through the bullied and scorned, we can finally revel in the masterpiece that is the Geek. The perfect amalgamation of nerds and fanboys, with both technical and social competence, the Geeks must have gotten all the good genes from both parents.

“An outwardly normal person who has taken the time to learn technical skills. Geeks have as normal a social life as anyone, and usually the only way to tell if someone is a geek is if they inform you of their skills… A geek does not have to be smart. A geek is someone who is generally not athletic, and enjoys video games; comic books; being on the internet; etc.”*

With a deep appreciation for fanboy culture but lacking the general obsessive compulsive behavior that goes along with it (which scares everyone else off) and fairly adequate technical experience, the Geek has overtaken the social rungs of its predecessors and formed a new, all-inclusive group of misfits.

“Wouldn’t geeks be the product of normie’s and nerds, though? Why fanboys?”

Unfortunately, through our scientific testing and research we have come to find that the control group “normie” does not exhibit any of the necessary traits that are found in the Geek sub-culture, so we must exclude them in our results.

Translation: They don’t have any love or excessive excitement for video games, anime, comics, TV, etc.

The Geek sub-culture allows anyone who has even a stitch of nerd, fanboy, or [so help us] dork in them to connect and relate over our favorite hobbies and interests. Some may go a little too far (I’m looking at you, Cumberbatch fangirls) and some may not go far enough (Ian McKellan/Patrick Stewart shippers) but props go out to the Geekdom who works really hard at giving everyone an awesomely decorated place to bond and delight in our crazy.

Can you imagine the jungle gyms we’d build?!

*You can always count on Urban Dictionary. The chart was altered to include the fanboy category, and general punctuation and grammar were edited because let’s face it: Urban Dictionary is not the place for award-winning writing. http://www.urbandictionary.com/