Some people love their Disney and others love their Tarantino, but let’s be honest here, classic Arnold Schwarzenegger movies are the best. Especially if we’re talking movie drinking games! From quotable one-liners to ridiculous feats of strength, 80s Arnold flicks were practically created exclusively for drinking games, and those rippling pectorals of his pretty much invented the “sips for nips” rule.

With a huge roster of Arnold movies to choose from, one could easily get overwhelmed when choosing which to watch, so I’m going to make it real easy for you: Commando. Over and over. Always Commando.

I don’t have much more to say as an intro — if you need more convincing then you don’t deserve Commando — so let’s just get right down to the rules, eh?

The Rules:

DON’T PLAY THIS GAME WITH ANYTHING STRONGER THAN BEER. Anything else could be death. Which reminds me… disclaimer time! This game is only for people over 21, and you probably shouldn’t play with all of these rules at the same time.

1) Drink for each of Arnold’s superhuman feats. These include, but are in no way limited to, carrying an enormous log, jumping out of a moving airplane into waist-deep water, and throwing saw blades like ninja stars.

2) Drink for any cheesy (but oh-so-good) 80s music. There’s plenty of it. Drink up!

3) Drink when Arnold feeds a deer. Yupp, that happens. Go ahead and have a second drink for that one.

4) Drink for any quotable one-liners. This being an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, there are many.

5) Drink for anytime Arnold checks his watch. I don’t want to give away any of the ingenious plot, but time is a factor.

6) Drink for close ups of Arnold’s muscles. Again, this is a Schwarzenegger flick, you had to know what you were getting yourself into. This rule could also be worded as “drink for any gratuitous flexing” and plays heavily into the always rule of “sips for nips.”

These last 2 rules are not for the faint of heart. Continue with extreme caution/awesomeness.

7) Drink every time someone dies. This won’t be too bad until the end, but it’ll certainly weed out any lightweights in the group. To put an extra spin on it, drink twice if someone dies whose name we know.

Meaning not this guy.

8) When Arnold goes Commando, waterfall whatever beers you have left. In case “Arnold goes Commando” is too vague for you, it refers to pretty much everything after this point:

That rule is really there just to simplify things for you. If you’re still drinking for every flex, death, and nipple at this point, you’ll go through all your beers anyway.

“Leave anything for us?”

“Just bodies.”

Final Note: There is a Director’s Cut out there that I have not played this game to. If any of you have seen it, feel free to contribute additional rules in the comments below! 

In 1974, Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson’s tabletop role playing game was published. That game was DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, perhaps one of the most influential creations in the realm of fantasy and nerd-dom, ever. 40 years later, and D&D is still a cultural staple and just as popular, with hundreds of knock-offs.

In 2011, Jason Anarchy revolutionized the world of twenty sided dice by adding booze to the mix, with the first tabletop RPG and drinking game…in DRINKING QUEST. In this “Drunken Middle Earth,” pals enter a new, snarky world, where their deaths are rewarded with tankards of ale.

I recently had the opportunity to talk with Jason about DRINKING QUEST’s inception, future projects (comics! more games! secrets!), his drink of choice, and proved that I’m more of an alcoholic than the guy who created “DRINKING QUEST” by my line of questioning.

7 INCHES: How drunk were you when you came up with the idea for DRINKING QUEST?

Jason: I was fairly drunk but it was actually a buddy of mine that suggested combining two things that I was commonly doing already (Creating RPG game systems and drinking with my friends).

7 INCHES: Are your parents proud of your accomplishments? Have they ever played DRINKING QUEST?

Jason: No parental plays yet, I don’t really come from an RPG or drinking family. My family is proud even though they don’t “get” the idea.

7 INCHES: What drink(s) do you recommend pairing with a game of DRINKING QUEST? Does it change depending upon your character? [Sidenote: You should totally brew DRINKING QUEST themed meads]

Jason: Drink whatever is a safe amount for you. A safe amount of something you like drinking. I’m a whiskey guy myself. I’d definitely be open to the idea of a Drinking Quest mead. We could just put a picture of my biceps on the bottle.

7 INCHES: For those that have never played DRINKING QUEST, how would you describe the world and the game play?

Jason: It plays like a stripped down Dungeons & Dragons. You have a character, you’re fighting monsters and finding treasures… but when your character dies in the game you have to chug your drink in real life. It really adds a new connection to your character since you’re on the hook to chug your drink.

7 INCHES: When playing DRINKING QUEST, what kind of music or movie do you recommend playing in the background? If your answer isn’t CONAN, I’m going to be upset.

Jason: Mostly punk rock but I do have a master instrumental list that has the 1982 Conan the Barbarian soundtrack on it. J Basil Poledouris made a perfect soundtrack for a perfect movie.

7 INCHES: DRINKING QUEST is making the leap from tabletop RPG game to comic book! Boner inspiring stuff. How did that come about, and what can you tell us about the project? When is it being released?!

Jason: I’m extremely inverted by nature (but pretty extroverted when it comes to nerdy stuff) so I have a lot of hobbies. I’m a big fan of tabletop gaming, comic books and punk rock.

Making a comic was a natural progression since I had the world built and a lot of story left to tell. The Drinking Quest games are told in loose story fragments like LOST or PULP FICTION. With a comic book I could tell a longer, linear story and really expand the world.

It’s really funny stuff. There’s lots of Drinking and Questing and also a hidden attempt to connect with the reader (Much like the game series!).

7 INCHES: You’re available to play DRINKING QUEST via Skype with those that pay you extra coin, which makes you a prostitute. Do you have any embarrassing Skype stories through this agreement?

Jason: They’re always bachelor parties so I’m basically sworn to secrecy. They have been consistently awesome and everyone seems to have a great time. I’ve legitimately made lots of new friends this way even if it began with me charging to be a professional person to drink with.

I had to raise the price at one point to curb demand [now $150]… it was interfering with everything else I was doing to run Drinking Quest

 7 INCHES: What’s the drunkest you’ve ever gotten while playing DRINKING QUEST?

Jason: Generally, Drinking Quest is a lighter drinking game so my heaviest drinking stories usually don’t involve my own game. However there was one night where I tried to play all three games consecutively with the dudes from the DnDUI podcast… that night was messy and I wouldn’t recommend anyone else doing that.

PLEASE QUEST RESPONSIBLY!

7 INCHES:What character(s) do you most identify with? What character do you wish you were?

Jason: Strangely I identify with nearly all the characters. I try and put as many of my positive and negative attributes into the game as possible.

There are moments when I’m Chuglox and there are moments when I’m the Annoying Sidekick. I think people can relate to the game in a strange way because there is a heavier authorial voice than most tabletop games would have.

 7 INCHES: When are you going to make an EATING QUEST game, and can I be a part of it (I want 43%)?

I’ve got this awesome game where I’m normally more of a workoholic than alcoholic and whenver my body starts groaning I hit up the McDonalds drive-thru and buy two McDoubles with only cheese. I call this game RAMMING MCDOUBLES. Because you’re ramming them into your face as fast as possible just for basic sustenance so you can get back to work.  #RammingMcDoubles is also a great Twitter hashtag.

As for EATING QUEST… people like food. It could work.

7 INCHES: Has there ever been an impromptu strip-DRINKING QUEST game? Follow up question: has DRINKING QUEST gotten you any dates?

I usually rely on my freakishly large biceps to get dates. I’ve never played strip Drinking Quest but I’m open-minded.

7 INCHES: You’re Canadian. What’s that like?

Jason: Harsh climate, nice maple syrup, colourful money.

7 INCHES: Do you play any other drinking games, or would that feel like cheating on DRINKING QUEST?

Jason: I made Drinking Quest to appeal to the version of myself when I was in college… I hope this doesn’t crush anyone’s opinion of me but I don’t play a lot of drinking games currently. I can play Drinking Quest because it’s a lighter drinking game but most drinking games are horribly imbalanced and I’m passed out after 15 minutes.

7 INCHES: Obligatory Meta Question: Have you ever had friends playing drinking games TO people playing Drinking Quest? Every time somebody chugs their drink you have to chug your drink?

Jason: Stranger things have happened.

7 INCHES: How does it feel to make a living off of your alcoholism?

Jason: Everyone sees the Drinking, nobody sees the Quest.

7 INCHES: What exciting projects are coming next within the DRINKING QUEST realm?

Jason: I have a comic book coming out in May and then a SUPER HUGE AWESOME GAME PROJECT that I can’t publicly talk about now. Hit me up for an interview again if you see a major announcement.

7 INCHES: Who would you Fuck, Marry and Kill: Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder and GURPS?

Jason: I would marry Dungeons & Dragons because it’s been there for me longer than the others.

I would f— Pathfinder because it’s young and sexy.

I guess I would kill GURPS because I don’t know what it is and it sounds contagious.

To order Drinking Quest 1 ($20 CAD plus shipping), Drinking Quest 2 ($20 plus shipping), Drinking Quest 3 (ditto) or all of the above ($55 CAD plus shipping), or for more information on the ORIGINAL tabletop RPG drinking game, please visit DrinkingQuest.com.

As a young boy, I looked forward to the Disney movies that weren’t completely princess-centric, where I could imagine myself as Aladdin, John Smith, Simba, or Gaston (?). I would excitedly head off to the cinema to be taken away to a land of adventure, filled with plenty of music and talking/singing animals.

But which of them was/is my favorite? Which character could you find me running around pretending to be as I was wildly swinging around an imaginary sword? I’ll give you a hint. He put the glad in gladiator…

HERC-U-LES!

Not only was Hercules the son of Zeus himself (Zeus played by Rip Torn in the role of a lifetime), he had godlike strength… and that was after being force fed mortal-juice from a couple of creepy idiots.

So yeah, Herc was a badass. He got to hang out with Danny DeVito as a satyr (so basically, he hung out with Danny DeVito), he had a kickass flying horse, he could lift buildings and boulders with his bare hands… and he had a crush on one of Disney’s most underrated female love interests: Megara.

They missed the best part of her in this shot!

There it is!

Yeah, I know. Sexist much?

As if that weren’t enough, the great James Woods plays Hades, Lord of the Underworld, who leads the Titans in an all-out assault of Mount Olympus to take over the world Greece. How could you not be totally down for a movie where that is the plot?

Well, enough of me blabbing on. You came here to see some drinking game rules, so let’s get to the good stuff already.

THE RULES:

1) Drink For Every Song – This should be a staple of all Disney movie drinking games. You’re starting out nice and easy with this one, while at the same time guaranteeing yourself a drink about every 10 minutes or so.

2) Drink Any Time Hercules is Called Jerk-ules – This’ll only come into effect at the beginning, but that’s when you’ll be remembering to play by the rules anyway.

3) Drink For Every Punch – There are surprisingly few of these in the movie. Most of the battles are waged with swords, thrown objects, and god magic. To keep this rule interesting, you should waterfall from the time the punch lands to the time the punch’s recipient lands.

4) Drink Every Time Hercules & Pegasus Konk Their Heads Together

Let’s step it up a bit, shall we?

5) Drink Every Time Hades’ Flames Turn Red

Yupp, this counts too!

6) Drink For Every Reference You May Not Have Understood As A Young Child

Finally, if you want to play a Suicide Round…

The Muses beg you not to!

7) Drink Every Time The Hydra Grows A New Head – This is essentially a 5 minute waterfall.

8) Drink Anytime the Muses Sway Their Hips – If you want to speed up the getting-drunk process, forgo the movie entirely and just use the gifs below.

If you have $14.96 lying around, purchase HERCULES today to play along at home.