So, naturally, it’s my job to come up with more. Or, more accurately, figure out what incredibly talented actors need their own show. This isn’t in lieu of other work, but just something I want, or think should happen, or needs to happen. And considering the crap that the networks consistently push out every pilot season, it’s nice to dream about the alternatives.

Last time around, I spotlighted Rowan Atkinson. This week, I stick to the best acting country in the world.

Alan Rickman might be one of the most decorated and respected actors never to be nominated for an Oscar. I made that up, but it seems right. So while I don’t want that trend to continue, I think we can all agree on one thing.

We need more Alan Rickman in our lives.

Like every week.

His career and body of work has kind of been dominated by a little movie franchise called HARRY POTTER, when he was consistently the best part of every movie as the enigmatic Severus Snape, and helped create fandemonium around his character, before Tom Hiddleston did the same as the villainous Loki. Girls like pale British dudes.

But now that HARRY POTTER has finished, there’s a giant gaping (Snaping?) hole in our lives. One that can be fixed with a leading role on a TV show.

Alan Rickman would and should be able to star in anything he wants, because of his range. While he’ll forever be known as a bad guy thanks to being the best villain in an action movie ever, as Hans Gruber in DIE HARD, there’s more to his repertoire.

There’s also never not a great time to watch the infamous falling scene:

If a hero is only as good as his villains, Hans Gruber proved that rule, as he CREATED John McClane, and made DIE HARD and Bruce Willis’ career. Willis should be buying Rickman a drink every year on the film’s anniversary.

Rickman’s been the villain in ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES, as the naughty Sheriff, and he was a cheating jerk in LOVE ACTUALLY, who broke Emma Thompson’s heart. And that’s something you just don’t do.

But, the guy also has mad comedy chops, as evidenced by his de-genitalized Metatron in Kevin Smith’s DOGMA, and my personal favorite role of his…

Alexander Dane (or Dr. Lazarus) in GALAXY QUEST.

There’s also SENSE AND SENSIBILITY, which if I had either one of those things, I’d have seen by now.

But it always comes back to HARRY POTTER, and anyone who’s read the books or seen the films (so hopefully most all of you) can testify, know the massive character arc that Rickman would have to portray as Severus. And he was beautiful.

Now, obviously I’d want a GALAXY QUEST TV show more than anything (or a Severus Snape HBO TV series), but I’ll use some of his more famous quotes as jumping off points to create random theoretical TV shows, starring He-Needs-A-Sir Alan Rickman.

DIE HARD:

“You’d have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.” –John McClane

BRILLIANT. Put Alan Rickman in the Old West and he could make Ian McShane blush, whether he’s the cagey Sheriff, the Corrupt Mayor, the man on the Most Wanted poster’s, or the town drunk. Whoever he is (maybe the transvestite hooker?), I want to see that show. I miss DEADWOOD, clearly.

OR he could be the leader of a settlement traveling west across the Oregon Trail, based on the greatest video game of all-time. It’d feature a rip roaring soundtrack from T Bone Burnett, but he’d be overshadowed by two notes every time: Dun Dun! It could even be called “Happy Trails, Hans.”

HARRY POTTER:

“Discipline your mind.” –HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

This inspires many ideas. Perhaps Rickman is the head of a think tank, or the mastermind of the Manhattan Project. Or, maybe he’s just a therapist with controversial techniques, or a hypnotist who works to help his patients quit smoking, masturbating in public or eating red meat. The possibilities are endless.

“Turn to page 394.” –HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

We’ve seen millions of “teachers who inspire” movies, from STAND AND DELIVER, THE GREAT DEBATERS, DEAD POET’S SOCIETY, FREEDOM WRITERS, COACH CARTER and Matthew Perry’s THE RON CLARK STORY. Most are vaguely to wholly insulting, and they’re all manipulative and self-serving. Who wouldn’t want to be manipulated by Alan Rickman in a “teachers who inspire” TV show that lasts for 14 seasons, with each year packed with up and coming (read: jackass) actors?

Or, the ominous sounding Page 394 is actually a strange dimension, or portal, to another world, and Alan Rickman is the gatekeeper, or the man who discovers it.

“Mister Potter. Our new celebrity.” –HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE

Alan Rickman is a greasy member of the paparazzi, and we learn what it takes to navigate the seedy underbelly of Hollywood, as they perform the most thankless (yet important) job in entertainment.

“You ought to be careful. People will think you’re…up to something.” –HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE

Yes, cop procedurals make my eyes roll because there are so many of them. But with the right lead, or the right concept, they can still pop. I’d like to see Alan Rickman on the other side of things, as a cop, or a corrupt one toeing the line. Alan Rickman would be an AWESOME detective, and speaking of, HAS to be in the running for a spot on TRUE DETECTIVE season 2.

DOGMA:

Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.

How hasn’t this been made into a show? Put Alan Rickman in Wisconsin, witnessing all of the massive and earth-shattering moments that have taken place there. It’s pretty lean until Brett Favre, beer and cheese come to Wisconsin. But…ALAN RICKMAN.

GALAXY QUEST:

“Miners, not MINORS”

It’d be like the controversial and mercifully cancelled KID NATION, only the kids would have to suffer through the noxious and extremely dangerous conditions of mines in this racy reality show. Alan Rickman would host.

Gwen DeMarco: Alex, where are you going?
Sir Alexander Dane: To see if there’s a pub.

Alan Rickman finds a pub. And then he purchases it, and is the grouchy but heart of gold bartender in this generation’s CHEERS. Could also be called HAPPY TRAILS.

Admittedly, I ran out of ideas and pulled some crappy quotes…

…but whatever it is Alan Rickman decides to do, he will be embarking on those aforementioned happy trails, because talent wins out.

By Grabthar’s hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged.

But what actors or actresses are TV networks missing? What character actors could be stars if given the right vehicle? What underrated funny man could make a big splash on a new sitcom, or remake his career as a dramatic star? What actor are we being deprived of at this very moment?

The answer to that series of questions has a near infinite number of answers, but for the first installment of “BLANK Needs His/Her Own TV Show,” I choose…

Rowan Atkinson.

Most Americans know him solely as Mr. Bean, one of the most annoying (and great) slapstick comic characters of all-time, and a role that has doomed Rowan Atkinson of doing pretty much anything else. JOHNNY ENGLISH doesn’t count and his narcoleptic character in RAT RACE, while hilarious, didn’t do him any favors.

But the man has serious talent, not just for broad comedy, but for sharp, acerbic comedy, with one of the driest wits I’ve seen, shown off time and time again on the vehicle that made him famous in Britain…BLACK ADDER. As the many iterations of Blackadder throughout various time periods and holidays, Rowan Atkinson was pure genius, blessed with a terrific supporting cast (Tony Robinson, I heart you).

If BLACK ADDER aired today, it’d surely be right up there with DOCTOR WHO and SHERLOCK in terms of fandemonium. It was that clever and good. Atkinson, by the way, would’ve been a fantastic Doctor, and even played the Doctor in a TV movie COMIC RELIEF: DOCTOR WHO AND THE CURSE OF FATAL DEATH, seen below:

Rowan Atkinson was the Blackadder on a critically acclaimed series that refuses to be forgotten, over four installments/series, ranging from 1982 to 1989. A year later, BEAN was born.

At the beginning, he was able to parlay his popularity into a movie career, with roles in FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL, LION KING and HOT SHOTS! PART DEUX, but before long, he was only Mr. Bean or Johnny English.

Some people love the characters, and I don’t want to disrespect those people, or Atkinson for those roles. But I think he can do so much more, particularly in the field of drama, by following in the footsteps of one of the key supporting cast members of BLACK ADDER.

That’d be Hugh Laurie, who was merely a loutish King George, rarely displaying the range of Rowan Atkinson on the show. But clearly, the guy had talent, charisma, and the ability to play an asshole, and the Brit’s unparalleled mastery over diction helped him be the kind of smartass doctor the world found out it sort of loved.

Rowan Atkinson has all of those abilities, and it’d be a damn shame for him not to get the vehicle to show them off. In a world where every show the BBC churns out is gold, and beloved in Britain AND in America, it’s a crime that Rowan Atkinson isn’t on one of them, or the front-man of another.

He could dominate as a lead lawyer on whatever new crime/law procedural CBS is churning out next year, or as a clumsy Dad with a heart of gold on a painful sitcom, but I also want more for Rowan.

I want for him to have the sort of stage that Kelsey Grammer received for BOSS, a (flawed) show that hinged almost entirely upon his villainy. But as BOSS and RAKE has shown, people are growing a little tired of one-note jerks. I want something Shakespearean, something BIG, something that isn’t him playing a bumbling anything.

I think Netflix offers a lot of great opportunities, to start, such as a guest stint on HOUSE OF CARDS that pits him against Kevin Spacey, which would be an ideal kick in the pants for his career, while a small but scene-stealing performance in the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT movie (or season 5 or whatever) could showcase his range and boost his cred. I’d also love if he could find a role (any of them) on GAME OF THRONES. Or a villainous turn on SHERLOCK would be perfection. Give him one of the detective slots in the next season of TRUE DETECTIVE (with Tony Robinson). From there, Rowan Atkinson should have the pick of the litter when it comes to lead dramatic (or comedy) roles. He clearly shined when given a chance to recreate history (for sport) on BLACK ADDER, so imagine him as a conniving Iago-type to a King? Or the corrupt King himself? He has Bryan Cranston-like upside, a guy who was primarily known for being a ridiculous Dad on MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE before BREAKING BAD. If given a shot, I think we could finally start loving Rowan Atkinson for another role, and it’d be about damn time.

It’d surely bring forth less terrifying results than this, at least: