Disney’s THE SWORD IN THE STONE is tailor made for a movie drinking game, you just might not have known it, or forgotten.

The 1963 classic comes from German-born director Wolfgang Reitherman, who also helmed THE JUNGLE BOOK, ROBIN HOOD, 101 DALMATIONS, THE ARISTOCATS, THE RESCUERS and several adventures involving WINNIE THE POOH. The guy’s a stud, and a titan of Disney and the animation field, but perhaps none of his movies were quite as weird, psychedelic and unsettling as THE SWORD IN THE STONE, a butchering/retelling of T.H. White’s classic book ONCE AND FUTURE KING, subtracting out giant gobbets of love story with Guinevere (and the subsequent awkward as fuck affair with Lancelot).

There aren’t as many rules as normal for this one, but that’s because these are already potent enough. This is easily the most fun of any of the movie drinking games I’ve played that you’ll find on this site, for now. Enjoy THE MOVIE DRINKING GAME, “Warts and All” Edition.

RULES:

1. Drink any time Wart, Merlin or anyone appears high as fuck.

More like SWORD IN THE STONER.

2. If that joke didn’t make you laugh uncontrollably, you’re no Archimedes, Merlin’s brilliant owl, and one of the best fictional owls of all-time. Waterfall (sip continuously) during this entire, epic dying-of-laughing scene:

3. Drink any time Sir Kay is a jackass. So, essentially every scene he’s in.

4. You might as well be waterfalling for this one. Take a sip whenever the villainous Madam Mim is the scariest thing you’ve ever seen. Madam Mim is essentially Morgan le Fay, with a knack for unholy transformations, such as the pig (seen above), cat, snake, dragon, skinny bitch, sick woman, rhino, crocodile, horrifying tiger thing; she is EVERYTHING awful about this world. Here’s her introduction, which you likely blacked out as a child (and you might again, if you do this game up right). I had some serious, disturbing deja vu during the entire evening:

5. Drink every time Merlin casts a spell. Double the drink if he says Prestigitonium OR if the spell backfires and doesn’t work. Basically, whenever Merlin is a crackpot, drink.

6. Whenever Wart turns into a new species, drink. Take another when any of his fellow animal brethren try to sex him or Merlin up. It’s weird.

Um, ew.

In a decade dominated by classic animated tales of love, heartbreak and song, it’s easy to forget ROCK-A-DOODLE (1991), a musical fable that features all three in giant doses.

The film comes from Don Bluth, who isn’t a member of the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT family but the director who shaped an entire generation’s childhood. This man was granted the arduous task of following Walt Disney, and ended up directing AN AMERICAN TAIL. THE LAND BEFORE TIME. ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. THUMBELINA. A TROLL IN CENTRAL PARK. ANASTASIA. Hell, even TITAN A.E. (which should totally be enjoyed with some magic brownies). The man is a legend, an under-appreciated conductor of childhood reverie. College age students everywhere pop in their VHS tapes ironically and get hammered to these films, while younger generations hopefully get to discover them every year. Because they’re worthy.

ROCK-A-DOODLE, for those that don’t know, or can’t guess by the title, is about a rollicking rooster by the name of Chanticleer, with the power to bring the sun up every morning through his pulse-pounding vocals. This doesn’t suit the Grand Duke of Owls or his people, as they prefer…the darkness (yay nocturnal animals). Enter in Edmund, some dopey kid who gets turned into a cat (?!) who has to find Chanticleer and bring back the sun, lest the world be shrouded in blackness, permanently. Deep stuff.

And hey! It’s even got a babe:

So now, let’s bring you to the MOVIE DRINKING GAME rules of conduct, Chanti-beer edition.

THE RULEZ:

1. Drink every time someone says “Chanticleer.” Sorry in advance.

2. Drink every time anyone says “Rock-A-Doodle.” I’d take a bit bigger sip if it’s sung. The opening scene sets the tone:

3. Take a sip for every musical number!

4. Whenever the Grand Duke (Christopher Plummer) terrifies you, drink. This will likely be every time you see him. Some evidence:

5. Drink whenever the film goes from live action to cartoon.

6. Take a shot when you see an owl play an organ. It only happens once, but it’s worth celebrating.

7. Gulp for whenever Rock-A-Doodle is an Elvis knock off.

8. Sip for whenever the Grand Duke’s nephew Hunch (above) screws up something/sucks.

Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly (and if you play this, go with beer). It’s easy to get carried away to the incredible voice stylings of Glen Campbell, and this movie is not for the faint of heart. Or for those suffering from ornithophobia.

To play along, watch the full movie online:

You likely haven’t heard of SEATTLE SUPERSTORM, one of SyFy’s sci-fi tales of woe and weather. Unfortunately for you, that’s about to change. The 2012 release stars CAPRICA’s Essai Morales and a slew of actors I can’t even pretend to care about. You don’t need me to tell you it’s a disaster film set in the wonderful city of Seattle, and it’s a crap one. The film is boring, poorly acted and isn’t even really a good bad movie. That’s where the booze comes in.

Grab a 6 to 12-pack of your choice (I recommend a local beer), and a group of friends of your choice, and sit down, relax, and play a drinking game to….SEATTLE SUPERSTORM. While no one in the movie screams “We must stop this Seattle Superstorm!” (I know), you will by the end of this Movie Drinking Game™. If you can avoid a whole night where no one mentions the ugly context behind the “clever” title, you’ve already done better than I.

THE SET UP: Drinks, friends, maybe a couch, preferably a guy or gal from Seattle in attendance. Don’t be the guy who makes Starbucks themed drinks or brings an umbrella ironically.

‘ZE RULES:

Drink any time…

1. A Seattle native references Seattle (“The Pike Place Market is soooo funnn blah blah blah”) or goes on a Seattle-related tangent (“The Space Needle was unveiled during the World’s Fair in 1962…”), or bemoans the inaccuracy of the Seattle landscape depicted on screen (“Oh, I’ve been there. Vancouver, I mean.”).

2. …you see the Space Needle. You might need a note book for this one. Finish your drink when the Space Needle topples down like Hayden Christensen’s career.

3. …after incoherent “scientific” explanations, misplaced bureaucratic power struggles and whenever a high school student outsmarts meteorologists.

4. …If someone in the room thinks that the DMA (Disaster Management Agency) is a real thing.

5. …any time you see a “suspicious” object. Double it when they get shot down.

6. …any time someone uses a hose.

7. …any time there’s a weather change. And whenever there are gutless Seattle has bad weather jokes.

8. …for every Starbucks reference (there isn’t any).

9. …for any grunge music.

10. …any time you see a gun! Seattle don’t mess with guns.

Spoiler Alert.

EXPERT LEVEL: Drink every time the kids, Wyatt and Chloe, make you want to murder something.

Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly, and for the love of Shawn Kemp, don’t drive after playing this drinking game. Don’t use 4 Loko’s, or else you’re stomach will be hosting the super storm.