It’s hard to come up with a movie that’s targeting someone more differently than me than John Madden’s The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. I’ve never even seen the first film (is there a more unlikely “franchise” than this?), but it’s a testament to the cast (the British Avengers of AARP) and the genuine heart of the filmmakers that I was delighted from the start.

Yes, the movie is heavy-handed, schmaltzy and predictable. But it’s impossible not to be charmed and entertained by everyone in the ensemble. Within the opening moments, Dame Maggie Smith has insulted America several times and administered a stern lesson on serving tea. It’s low hanging fruit, but a bull’s-eye is a bull’s-eye, even on an aggressively easy target. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel takes place eight months after the events of the first film (but amazingly four years in real time since the first movie), and Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel) has his eager eyes, nose and heart set on expanding. The Exotic Marigold is full, thriving, and Kapoor sees it as his destiny to open a chain, setting up a meeting in San Diego with David Straithairn, effortlessly playing the head of a (socially acceptable) hotel conglomerate (Evergreen). Muriel Donnelly (Maggie Smith) and Sonny are a rare team with uncommon chemistry, so it’s no surprise an agreement is made…so long as a guy sent undercover finds the hotel satisfactory.

That guy, Sonny surmises, is Guy Chambers, a new guest to the hotel. It’s hard to blame him, since Guy Chambers is played by Richard Gere, his slightly jarring appearance in this movie a reminder that we all age. But Gere’s still got it, certainly. Of course, Sonny’s assumption of Guy’s true identity seems destined for tragedy, especially considering Lavinia Beach (Episodes’ Tamsin Greig) checks in the same day. While the intrusive, over-the-top Sonny attempts to satisfy Guy’s every need, Mr. Chambers is more concerned with Sonny’s Mom, the crabby Mrs. Kapoor (Lillette Dubey), much to Sonny’s disbelief. Sonny has a lot on his plate in this movie, which means we get to see Dev Patel run around panicking, like a chicken with his head cut off, throughout. It’s wonderful. Sonny has to prepare for his impending engagement party and wedding to the stunning Sunaina (Tina Desai). But, of course, wealthy romantic rival Kushal (Shazad Latif) has shown up to teach Sunaina how to dance.

There’s not a plot point that hasn’t been used in a soap opera, Bollywood or otherwise, but it still mostly all works. Madge (Celia Imrie) complains to anyone who will listen about having to choose between two affluent Indian suitors. Judi Dench’s Evelyn Greenslade and Bill Nighy’s Douglas Ainslie have the best will-they-won’t-they relationship ever, and you can bet Douglas’ not-quite ex-wife Jean Ainslie (Doctor Who’s Penelope Wilton) shows up. Norman (Ronald Pickup) accidentally puts a hit on his lover Carol (Diana Hardcastle) with a Tuk-tuk driver. These old people are up to so many hijinks, guys!

Can we all take a second to stop and appreciate the insanely charming Dev Patel? It is about to be Dev Patel week, after all. The Slumdog Millionaire and Newsroom star not only charms the hell out of the screen in The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but he creates artificial intelligence in Chappie, which opens the same day in theaters. I’ve loved him ever since Slumdog, and he’s done no wrong since, showcasing a wide range and generating a limitless pool of empathy. This is a movie that hinges upon Dev Patel screwing up repeatedly, blissfully, never listening, his Sonny an uncontrollable, manic ADD addled sitcom Dad. It’s all over-the-top, but Patel sells it, and makes it feel real, the ultimate underdog, someone everyone wants to root for. That’s why I’d love to see him as the next Spider-Man.

The film is hectic; there’s a lot going on in this soap opera. It’s easy to envision the film as a BBC show, thanks to its ensemble nature (and the  nature of its ensemble) and excessive juggling of subplots. But the fast pace works, anachronistic with the slow ambling steps made by most of its cast. It’s refreshing to see a movie about old people not feel old. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is an affirmation of life (“a new beginning near the end”), an old-people-love-and-have-sex too flick, that life doesn’t have to end after retirement. Every movie should have a climactic Bollywood dance number, and whether you’re 20 or 70, you’ll want to go to India and seek one out. Madden’s film has a tendency to be over-philosophical, yet when Maggie Smith or Bill Nighy or Judi Dench are sharing their wisdom, you almost have to take it at face value (talk about gravitas). When Muriel says goodbye, it feels like Maggie Smith is saying goodbye, something worth getting choked up about.

At one point, the Exotic Marigold Hotel is reviewed thusly: that while it has so many problems in its operations, it can get away with a lot because the guests adore Sonny and his employees. This parallels the film: this movie can get away with a lot because everyone is so likable.

THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL hits theaters March 6, 2015.

Most people don’t have a vesting interest in watching the Oscars, or don’t care beyond the opening intro, and haven’t seen any of the nominated films (I’ll give a tip ‘o the hat to anyone who has actually seen ERNEST AND CELESTINE). What better way to enliven the party, create your own, or forget the exhausting festivities than an OSCARS DRINKING GAME?

So put on your finest pajamas, pick up the cheapest bottle (or five) of champagne at the store (while supplies last), and let’s drink to the fact that we’re not as pretty, rich, successful and clever as 99% of the people on the Oscars telecast.

RED CARPET EDITION: One Rule Only.

1. Drink every time Ryan Seacrest asks, “Who are you wearing?” It’s the only time that question doesn’t imply that you’re Norman Bates wearing your mother’s skin as a face.

But if you want more…

2. If a star brings her Mother or Father along as their date…Awww. DRINK.

3. Any time you realize that you’re actually watching a slew of “fashionistas”/C-level celebrities talk about celebrities hair, makeup, jewelry and clothes and doing so un-ironically on E!, you probably deserve a drink.

THE OSCARS DRINKING GAME RULES:

1. Drink every time Ellen dances.

2. Drink every time one of these rules make you groan.

3. Drink every time the cut-off music is offensive and flusters a speaker.

4. Drink every time a winner cries during their speech.

5. Drink every time there’s an annoying new hashtag on the screen.

6. Drink every time someone swears and it gets past the censors.

7. Finish the bottle (collectively) if Jennifer Lawrence trips over her dress. Sorry.

8. Have a sip if someone cracks a joke about George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio’s playboy ways. Har har.

9. Don’t drink for any Shia LeBeouf or Justin Bieber jokes.

10. Drink for every musical number. Sing along if you can, or especially if you can’t.

11. Sip whenever an old Hollywood luminary says something only a famous old guy/gal could get away with saying.

12. Drink for these lies: “I didn’t have a speech prepared” or “I am so shocked” or any variations thereof.

13. Any wigs, hairs or boob jokes about AMERICAN HUSTLE are made. Drink double if it’s in reference to Christian Bale’s rack.

14. If anyone makes a Steve McQueen joke, pout until the next time you can drink.

15. Drink any time a speaker uses the word “transformation” to describe someone’s performance, or a joke about weight loss, weight gain or Jared Leto is made.

TO SOBER UP: Waterfall water during the technical awards.

AFTER THE SHOW: Don’t drive, call a Lyft/Uber, or pass out on your friend’s couch.

Thanks to a few Hollywood screeners, a lot of gift cards and unemploymentmy independent nature, I’ve never watched more Oscar nominated films than this year (and I’ll pretend that matters). In this age of scrutiny, controversy and Twitter, every movie has been hated on, drug through the mud or found wanting (some more deservedly than others). In fact, each movie’s director, producers, stars, and DP’s all likely feel (DP’d) a lot like Rufus Sewell’s character at the end of (best movie of all-time contender) A KNIGHT’S TALE right now:

But for a few minutes, can we check our attitudes at the door, pump the brakes on our eternal desire to make callous judgments without knowing what the fuck we’re talking about, and just talk about the movies themselves? Can we be a mindless drone in THE LEGO MOVIE (here’s one prediction: Best Animated Film winner, 2015) and accept that everything is indeed, awesome, and relish in the fact that this was one of the best years for films in recent memory (says someone every year), and dig that people get so heated up about movies? Sit back, pop open the Andre, and I promise, I won’t say awesome again for the entirety of this post.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

5. Julia Roberts, AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY: I almost feel bad for Julia (and her painfully obvious crowns in that awesome photo), and every other incredible actor (Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Ewan MacGregor, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sam Shepard, Margo Martindale, Abigail Breslin and whatever Juliette Lewis is) that somehow got roped into the hate-filled, manipulative, WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? wannabe that is AUGUST: somewhere in Oklahoma. But then I remember how unfortunate a movie-going experience the film was, and I can’t help but be mad at them. Julia Roberts was probably the best of the bunch in a role that potentially foreshadows the next act of her career in movies (should she choose to accept it) as a real, approachable, tortured (but no less pretty) woman, finding herself back where she started (after the OCEANS movies, preggers and EAT PRAY YUCK), as the every-woman.

4. Sally Hawkins, BLUE JASMINE: The next four are fairly interchangeable (because they’re all terrific), but I’ll snub Sally Hawkins just like Cate Blanchett’s Jasmine continually snubs Hawkins’ Ginger. BLUE JASMINE is an unholy cocktail of a bunch of awful people (kinda like AUGUST and nigh every other movie that came out this year), and while Ginger screws up just as often as any of them, and you’re constantly wondering why she puts up with the mess that is Jasmine, overbearing bf Chili (Bobby Canavale, future Oscar winner in 2018) and how she keeps kids, boyfriends and a working class job together, but you never doubt how real this character is. It could’ve been a caricature, but instead, she’s heartbreaking. When Louis C.K. even treats you like shit, it’s time for a good cry.

3. June Squibb, NEBRASKA: I love June Squibb to death in Alexander Payne’s underrated NEBRASKA. Squibb is hilarious as the cranky, tough-as-hell firecracker of an 80 year old housewife, and the idea that the scene where she flashes her knickers at former would-be flames at the cemetery could be HER Oscar clip is proof that the world rules in some respect. But, the thing is, any 84 year old woman supplied with her lines would get buzz because of how startling and refreshing an image it is to see on screen. But June’s charisma and scene stealing presence is all her own.

2. Lupita Nyong’o, 12 YEARS A SLAVE: And now I regret doing rankings entirely, because things like this will happen, where I automatically become an asshole. Probably one of the cooler stories that is impossible to get tired of is Lupita Nyong’o’s casting and how she got discovered for Patsey. She was absolutely fearless and mined new depths of sorrow, and like the movie as a whole, makes you want to kill yourself. For art.

1. Jennifer Lawrence, AMERICAN HUSTLE: You either loved or hated or didn’t get AMERICAN HUSTLE, but anyone who saw it HAD to be in awe of whatever the fuck J-Law was doing on screen. In my textual fellatio/review for PopInsomniacs, this is what I said about her performance as the lunatic Rosalyn:

“Jennifer Lawrence breaks acting. She summons new depths of sheer insanity…she’s manipulative, sexy, unpredictable, dangerously naive and stupid. I found myself giggling with glee at each of her scenes, or the opposite: just speechless and giddy with her surely Oscar nominated performance. The only thing scarier than her character is how talented this woman is, and she’s still just 23 years old. Watch her song-and-dance routine to Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die” and try to keep your head from exploding.”

Without question, watching her performance was the most fun I had a movie theater in 2013, and sometimes, I like enjoying myself at the movies.

NEXT: Best Supporting Actor, ranked in order of attractiveness.