Urban Legend is one of the holy pillars of the movie drinking game phenomenon (?), and with Halloween around the corner, it’s time to add 7 Inches of booze to the proceedings.

Coming two years after the zeitgeist-y Scream, Urban Legend is one of many numerous glorious 90’s knockoffs of Kevin Williamson’s meta take on the slasher genre. Except, it might be better. Sure, Scream is clever and scary, while Urban Legend is stupid and mildly startling (stay away from my Achilles), but it’s also a perfect snapshot of some of the most important pop culture figures in the history of the internet age, with some wonderful laughs derived from their appearances. Urban Legend only gets better with time, because beepers, chat rooms, goth sex…Rebecca Gayheart.

Urban Legend came from the same team who made I Know What You Did Last Summer into an unlikely hit/franchise (a Sara Michelle Geller and Jessica Love Hewitt movie I somehow have never seen), cobbling together a slew of society’s favorite urban legends and making them the villainous construct of a murderer, the “terrifying” Puffy Coat Killer. There’s Pop Rocks and soda, there’s the no lights on the highway gang initiation, Bloody Mary (keen foreshadowing for the franchise’s third installment, coming in 2005) and anything that comes on Tara Reid’s radio station.

This was the movie that launched the cult of Tara Reid; she performs fellatio on her microphone and her boobs nearly pop out of every dress in every scene. At one point, she even says, “My voice is probably the last thing she heard. Can you imagine?” There’s nothing more petrifying to imagine than Tara Reid being the last voice you hear in this anguished life.

She’s paired up with Smallville‘s Lex Luthor, Michael Rosenbaum, when he has hair, but most importantly, is only around to kiss Pacey’s ass. Yes, Joshua Jackson, with his ENTIRE HEAD OF HAIR BLEACHED (!), is also in this film, as trickster Damon Brooks, who gets off on telling all of these urban legends before becoming a morbid part of them. 97% of Rosenbaum’s lines involve complimenting Damon and loving his pranks and jokes, proving that Dawson’s Creek > Smallville.

Beverly Hills 90210‘s Rebecca Gayheart, the inventor of the Crazy Eyes, also finds herself in this group of friends, pining away after Paul (oh Paul)…played by the incomparable Jared Leto, who seems just as shocked as you or I that he’s in this movie. Someone in Urban Legend has won an Oscar. Alicia Witt (who actually played Becky Sproles’ deadbeat Mom in Friday Night Lights) is the innocent girl/lone survivor. She’s not the killer, but in a way, she totally is, because she absolutely dooms everyone else around her with her presence. You almost feel bad for her comically cliche goth roommate who fucks to death metal.

Urban Legend is a movie in which a dog does a beer bong and has Boston Public‘s Loretta Devine reenact Jackie Brown by herself in her office. It’s a reality where a university actually has a class on urban legends, called…Abstract Psychology. Urban Legend is a franchise that spawned sequels starring Kate Mara, Jennifer Morrison, Eva Mendes, Joey Lawrence, Anthony Anderson and more, a breeding ground for young talent, a treasure trove of “Oh my god, he/she’s IN THIS MOVIE?!” Urban Legend‘s sequel is called “Final Cut,” but five years later, there was another film (the aforementioned Bloody Mary). Urban Legend proves that anyone can have a career, that anyone can rebound from a mistake and bank on their potential, that anyone can be a killer, and that we’ll never have a decade quite like the 90’s. Thank God/Steve Urkel for that.

The Rules:

1. Enjoy a sip of your frosty beverage whenever an Urban Legend is referenced or shown.

2. You always drink for every death in movies like these.

3. Whenever the name of a school is referenced, take a sip!

4. Drink every time you see the Puffy Coat Killer. Spooky.

5. Take a drink every time Tara Reid does or says something sexual. Good luck with that.

6. This one is insane, and might be a movie-wide waterfall if you take it too seriously: drink every time lightning strikes.

7. Drink any time Loretta Devine’s security guard is hapless.

8. You gotta drink every time Paul’s “hotness” is discussed, or whenever someone pines for the guy who takes school journalism WAY too seriously. Paul is Jared Leto’s character, so this is pretty much every time he’s on screen.

9. If anyone cries, drink.

10. I was inspired by this particular Urban Legend drinking game, and my favorite was this rule: Drink every time Rebecca Gayheart. The sentence stops there purposefully, leaving it up to the viewer to interpret what that means to you. For my group of friends, it practically became every time we saw Rebecca Gayheart, we would drink.

Doesn’t she kind of look like a demented version of Thea Queen/Willa Holland from Arrow?

11. Drink every time there’s a twist as to the killer’s identity. Double it if the audience is “tricked” into thinking one of the killers is one of the many famous actors who have played famed serial killers in other movies (see: Robert Englund AKA Freddy Kreuger, Brad Dourif AKA Chucky/Grima Wormtongue). Urban Legend is the cleverest.

12. Drink for every dated 90’s reference, or for old technology.

Extreme Urban Legend: Double every rule if it applies to Pacey/Joshua Jackson/Damon Brooks.

Most people don’t have a vesting interest in watching the Oscars, or don’t care beyond the opening intro, and haven’t seen any of the nominated films (I’ll give a tip ‘o the hat to anyone who has actually seen ERNEST AND CELESTINE). What better way to enliven the party, create your own, or forget the exhausting festivities than an OSCARS DRINKING GAME?

So put on your finest pajamas, pick up the cheapest bottle (or five) of champagne at the store (while supplies last), and let’s drink to the fact that we’re not as pretty, rich, successful and clever as 99% of the people on the Oscars telecast.

RED CARPET EDITION: One Rule Only.

1. Drink every time Ryan Seacrest asks, “Who are you wearing?” It’s the only time that question doesn’t imply that you’re Norman Bates wearing your mother’s skin as a face.

But if you want more…

2. If a star brings her Mother or Father along as their date…Awww. DRINK.

3. Any time you realize that you’re actually watching a slew of “fashionistas”/C-level celebrities talk about celebrities hair, makeup, jewelry and clothes and doing so un-ironically on E!, you probably deserve a drink.

THE OSCARS DRINKING GAME RULES:

1. Drink every time Ellen dances.

2. Drink every time one of these rules make you groan.

3. Drink every time the cut-off music is offensive and flusters a speaker.

4. Drink every time a winner cries during their speech.

5. Drink every time there’s an annoying new hashtag on the screen.

6. Drink every time someone swears and it gets past the censors.

7. Finish the bottle (collectively) if Jennifer Lawrence trips over her dress. Sorry.

8. Have a sip if someone cracks a joke about George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio’s playboy ways. Har har.

9. Don’t drink for any Shia LeBeouf or Justin Bieber jokes.

10. Drink for every musical number. Sing along if you can, or especially if you can’t.

11. Sip whenever an old Hollywood luminary says something only a famous old guy/gal could get away with saying.

12. Drink for these lies: “I didn’t have a speech prepared” or “I am so shocked” or any variations thereof.

13. Any wigs, hairs or boob jokes about AMERICAN HUSTLE are made. Drink double if it’s in reference to Christian Bale’s rack.

14. If anyone makes a Steve McQueen joke, pout until the next time you can drink.

15. Drink any time a speaker uses the word “transformation” to describe someone’s performance, or a joke about weight loss, weight gain or Jared Leto is made.

TO SOBER UP: Waterfall water during the technical awards.

AFTER THE SHOW: Don’t drive, call a Lyft/Uber, or pass out on your friend’s couch.

Thanks to a few Hollywood screeners, a lot of gift cards and unemploymentmy independent nature, I’ve never watched more Oscar nominated films than this year (and I’ll pretend that matters). In this age of scrutiny, controversy and Twitter, every movie has been hated on, drug through the mud or found wanting (some more deservedly than others). In fact, each movie’s director, producers, stars, and DP’s all likely feel (DP’d) a lot like Rufus Sewell’s character at the end of (best movie of all-time contender) A KNIGHT’S TALE right now:

But for a few minutes, can we check our attitudes at the door, pump the brakes on our eternal desire to make callous judgments without knowing what the fuck we’re talking about, and just talk about the movies themselves? Can we be a mindless drone in THE LEGO MOVIE (here’s one prediction: Best Animated Film winner, 2015) and accept that everything is indeed, awesome, and relish in the fact that this was one of the best years for films in recent memory (says someone every year), and dig that people get so heated up about movies? Sit back, pop open the Andre, and I promise, I won’t say awesome again for the entirety of this post.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

5. Julia Roberts, AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY: I almost feel bad for Julia (and her painfully obvious crowns in that awesome photo), and every other incredible actor (Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Ewan MacGregor, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sam Shepard, Margo Martindale, Abigail Breslin and whatever Juliette Lewis is) that somehow got roped into the hate-filled, manipulative, WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? wannabe that is AUGUST: somewhere in Oklahoma. But then I remember how unfortunate a movie-going experience the film was, and I can’t help but be mad at them. Julia Roberts was probably the best of the bunch in a role that potentially foreshadows the next act of her career in movies (should she choose to accept it) as a real, approachable, tortured (but no less pretty) woman, finding herself back where she started (after the OCEANS movies, preggers and EAT PRAY YUCK), as the every-woman.

4. Sally Hawkins, BLUE JASMINE: The next four are fairly interchangeable (because they’re all terrific), but I’ll snub Sally Hawkins just like Cate Blanchett’s Jasmine continually snubs Hawkins’ Ginger. BLUE JASMINE is an unholy cocktail of a bunch of awful people (kinda like AUGUST and nigh every other movie that came out this year), and while Ginger screws up just as often as any of them, and you’re constantly wondering why she puts up with the mess that is Jasmine, overbearing bf Chili (Bobby Canavale, future Oscar winner in 2018) and how she keeps kids, boyfriends and a working class job together, but you never doubt how real this character is. It could’ve been a caricature, but instead, she’s heartbreaking. When Louis C.K. even treats you like shit, it’s time for a good cry.

3. June Squibb, NEBRASKA: I love June Squibb to death in Alexander Payne’s underrated NEBRASKA. Squibb is hilarious as the cranky, tough-as-hell firecracker of an 80 year old housewife, and the idea that the scene where she flashes her knickers at former would-be flames at the cemetery could be HER Oscar clip is proof that the world rules in some respect. But, the thing is, any 84 year old woman supplied with her lines would get buzz because of how startling and refreshing an image it is to see on screen. But June’s charisma and scene stealing presence is all her own.

2. Lupita Nyong’o, 12 YEARS A SLAVE: And now I regret doing rankings entirely, because things like this will happen, where I automatically become an asshole. Probably one of the cooler stories that is impossible to get tired of is Lupita Nyong’o’s casting and how she got discovered for Patsey. She was absolutely fearless and mined new depths of sorrow, and like the movie as a whole, makes you want to kill yourself. For art.

1. Jennifer Lawrence, AMERICAN HUSTLE: You either loved or hated or didn’t get AMERICAN HUSTLE, but anyone who saw it HAD to be in awe of whatever the fuck J-Law was doing on screen. In my textual fellatio/review for PopInsomniacs, this is what I said about her performance as the lunatic Rosalyn:

“Jennifer Lawrence breaks acting. She summons new depths of sheer insanity…she’s manipulative, sexy, unpredictable, dangerously naive and stupid. I found myself giggling with glee at each of her scenes, or the opposite: just speechless and giddy with her surely Oscar nominated performance. The only thing scarier than her character is how talented this woman is, and she’s still just 23 years old. Watch her song-and-dance routine to Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die” and try to keep your head from exploding.”

Without question, watching her performance was the most fun I had a movie theater in 2013, and sometimes, I like enjoying myself at the movies.

NEXT: Best Supporting Actor, ranked in order of attractiveness.