Well, this is why we’re here. This is why I have permanent back damage and could sleep until next year’s Comic-Con at this point.

What do we have in store for us? RDJ intro’d the panel two years ago. Hiddleston did last year. Is James Spader going to bring on some Ultron? Are we going to see the Vision? Are we going to see the complete Phase 3 cast (Inhumans, Black Panther, IM 4, Hulk, Thor 3, Cap 3?)? Is Benedict Cumberbatch or Joaquin Phoenix Dr. Strange or is it a mystery third person (I can grow that beard, bitches)? Josh Brolin is here. Do we get a taste of Thanos?! Can I possibly adore Elizabeth Olsen any more than I already do? Will a woman or a black character get their own movie? Will Bradley Cooper show up in a garish raccoon costume? Will we somehow fit the entire Guardians of the Galaxy movie into the time slot? Will I ejaculate all over my neighbors? Stay tuned.

We’re on. Oh wait, we’re not. The audience is chanting, clapping in unison, we’re one minute away from the fucking wave.

For the record, the wave started exactly a minute later. The only time I’ve ever predicted something right this week.

Maybe the hour and a half gap before the WB TV panel will be filled merely by this panel starting so late. Which is disappointing, since I need a nap pre-Gotham.

Is a live blog truly live without me time stamping every comment? (Answer: No; but do you need to know I wrote this at 5:42:18 PM?).

Um, since when did Andy Serkis have an undisclosed role in Avengers: Age of Ultron? He’s apparently helping to mo-cap Hulk.

Eddie Ibrahim is up again.

We get an awesome recap of the entire Marvel Universe, capped with some great footage of Guardians of the Galaxy, which is going to be the best movie Marvel has made, btw (the 10th Marvel movies). Then we see Thanos in his space chair, threatening mankind. Awesome.

Kevin Feige is here, and so is Chris Hardwick of course.

Hardwick: has made a visually stunning film that’s hilarious. Big ups to James Gunn.

ANT-MAN time. Peyton Reed, the director. Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas are here (and Douglas is looking rough/awesome). Corey Stoll is here, the villain in the film: YELLOWJACKET. Playing the daughter of Hank Pym is EVANGELINE LILY as Hope Van Dyne. An interesting name choice.

This is the 20th anniversary of Peyton Reed’s first Comic-Con. Paul Rudd is popping his Comic-Con cherry, and clearly slightly overwhelmed.

Rudd is excited by challenge, thrilled to be working with such great people.

Michael Douglas admits to “popping up enough cherries.” Chris Hardwick wants to talk about that for the next hour, and so do I. Douglas has looked at Marvel from afar and has never really made a movie with the kind of technological tools this will have. Has clearly done his research: name-drops the year of Ant-Man’s creation, his creator, Stan Lee. Talks about his powers. This is the story of a heist, because his partner, Corey/Yellowjacket. Most of the budget will be removing Paul Rudd’s massive muscles.

Evangeline Lily on Hope Van Dyne: Very glad to announce it, and finally done evading press. Doesn’t have a script yet. But she is Hank Pym’s daughter, a crazy different detail from the source material. Professes love for us, been beloved in Hall H since Lost in 2005.

Corey Stoll on Yellowjacket: Was Hank Pym’s mentee, genius scientist as well. Have taken over the company, in what “judgmental people think is in an evil direction.” Attains some Pym particles (gross), and puts on a Yellowjacket suit.

Ant-Man starts filming in two weeks in Atlanta. Filmed something for us….we don’t see Paul or Michael, but we hear them, bickering about the nature of being a hero, and how Rudd isn’t a superhero, which is exactly why he’s perfect (and not a moron, like Douglas posits heroes are). We see the suit, we see ants, we see him flying on them, and get a brief glimpse at the visual flair in this movie. It’s fun.

Downey comes in a striking suit to Michael Jackson’s Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough. He throws roses from a briefcase into the crowd. Renner dances awkwardly. Mark Ruffalo comes in a little bit more unassuming. Chris Hemsworth. Cobie Smulders arrives, accepting a white rose from Downey. Samuel L. Jackson comes on, like he would. Chris Evans is buff as shit. Downey’s announcing them as they come in. Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver. Paul Bettany as Vision. James Spader as Ultron. Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch. This is insane.

Hardwick: “This is good. This is good. This is supposed to happen. Welcome, Avengers.”

Downey: Keeps getting better, and the bench gets larger.

Renner admits to wearing pants, unfortunately. “Always thrilling, man….glad to be here. Very honored.” Never envisioned this, but is blessed.

Ruffalo is fairly flabbergasted by the love. Hulk gets the first chant. Hardwick warns the crowd not to get him excited…

Hemsworth loves being part of this madness. What has he not been able to do yet? “Turn him into a woman. Great idea. I don’t want to speak too early and jinx it, but it could be my Oscar.” Incredible.

Smulders didn’t expect this to keep going on, but hoped that. Joss brought her into the world, and “so grateful.”

Evans and Hemsworth apparently compare muscle, and Hemsworth wins (“it’s not a costume, he is Thor”). Steve is up to speed, but still looking for a place to belong. Searching for home.

Taylor-Johnson intimidated to join the group, but happy Joss wanted him in. Loves the banter, enjoys Marvel movies, and excited for a part in this one.

Bettany know has to work for his money. He used to go to a dark room for 45 minutes and walk out with a bag of cash. “The most exciting thing that has ever happened to my kids.” “They had no interest in what I did until this month.”

James Spader always thought the world could never be crazy or weirder than he thought. Until SDCC. “This place might be the weirdest, craziest place I’ve ever been.” Thanks us. “I play an 8 foot robot in this movie…and I’d always played humans up to now.” As startling and exciting as coming to Comic-Con for the first time. Everything was “so entirely new”: the process, the people, the world he was entering.

Olsen: Fun to bring magic into the world…”mutated people,” which elicits ooohs. Adds a new dynamic, not just “awesome punching.” Apparently she stares at pencils for hours trying to make it move.

Then the world explodes when Scarlett introduces the video for Avengers: Age of Ultron. Um, SPOILERS follow. A delightful party scene with the team (that also includes Maria Hill and Rhodey): everyone takes turns trying to grab Thor’s hammer, a la the sword in the stone. Tony and Rhodey try together, with their armor, to no avail. Bruce Banner tries and fakes getting excited/angry, and it’s not funny (and so funny). Steve Rogers actually makes it move, slightly, a moment that gives me a partial chub. Thor announces that none of them are worthy…and that’s when Ultron makes his appearance, agreeing, saying their existence is all that can save the world. Then he sends other Iron Man armor toward the team. Then shit goes DOWN. It looks like the apocalypse has happened. Iron Man breaks out the hulkbuster armor, and it looks INSANE. Hulk also touches hands with Black Widow. We see our first full glimpse of Ultron on his throne…and it’s exactly what you want him to look like. Ultron is going to destroy our boys. Spader’s voice is a masterstroke. We see a glimpse of Andy Serkis with a beard. He’s not just helping with mo-cap. He has a role; let the rampant speculation begin. The clip ends on the craziest note ever: Iron Man looking at the carnage around him, all of his comrades in arms, collapsed or worse, Cap’s shield BROKEN IN HALF. Boom.

Then…Josh Brolin marches into the room wearing the Infinity Gauntlet. He demands a rose from Downey, who relents, and Thanos/Brolin EATS it. The excitement is almost suffocating in this room.

The panel appears to be over, but there’s one more clip to run: Chris Pratt and James Gunn joking around in London, wondering how they’d follow an Avengers panel. They jokingly talk about telling us about Guardians of the Galaxy 2 without Kevin Feige’s say so. It’s clearly staged, but Gunn and Pratt are so lovable it works anyways. And besides, GUARDIANS is getting a sequel before it even comes out: July 28th, 2017. Fuck yes.

What’s awesome about all this, is how into it the Avengers cast is. Robert especially loves his role as ring leader and host. Everyone’s psyched to be here. We might be looking at this moment as Marvel Studios’ pinnacle…or perhaps we’re just getting started, as Elizabeth Olsen intimated, now that they’re adding magic and mutated people.

Thank you Marvel for putting on a show, and good night everybody. Gotham, The Walking Dead Escape and sweet, sweet slumber awaits.

Now it’s time for Legendary Pictures and less than thrilling analysis, because I’m just trying to catch up, and wrap my head around the insanity.

The guide doesn’t reveal the slate, and with Godzilla, 300: Rise of An Empire in the rearview window…what does Legendary have upcoming? The internet has answers: Crimson Peak and Dracula Untold. Considering we already saw Benedict Cumberbatch and Luke Evans in Hall H, that seems like a safe bet. It’s probably way too early for Pacific Rim 2, but Guillermo be crazy.

Well, Legendary Pictures wins. Not only do they announce Godzilla 2, with Gareth Edwards directing, after he does his romp in Star Wars. That’s not all: in a behind the scenes clip from Monarch, we learn the existence of three more kaiju: MOTHRA, RODAN and KING GHIDORAH. YES. Thank you Toho. I wonder if Bryan Cranston will play one of Ghidorah’s heads.

Afterwards, we get a trailer for As Above, So Below, a found-footage Indiana Jones style movie set in Paris’ catacombs, according to the directing duo brothers. Um, whatever.

Next up is Michael Mann’s first visit to Comic-Con ever for his next film, Blackhat. It be about hackers, yo. It also looks like every movie ever made (hackers have your information…!), judging by the trailer. It appears exceedingly unremarkable, except for the fact that Thor plays a genius hacker. Um, yeah, that might work. It’s worth it just because Chris Hemsworth shows up now to join the panel. He learned how to type correctly for the role, showcasing his range as an actor. They shot the film in 66 days, which is a fact that is never interesting. Apparently the basis of Chris’ character, hacked the system and created a profile to make himself the ideal date for 35 women. Moderator Jessica Chabot correctly comments that he’s rapey.

Unless they’re announcing Namor the Sub Mariner (there was a pointed comment about Universal and Legendary’s combo), I feel like Legendary shot their load, maybe prematurely. Of course, we haven’t even seen either of my other predictions. Because my predictions suck.

Yay, Guillermo del Toro is coming on stage for Crimson Peak. It’s R-rated gotham romance, that is very violent. Guillermo del Toro swears all over the place, and he rules. He promises Tom Hiddleston will be around next year, and is nice and sexy.

Clip time: Um, sold. Gorgeous visual FX, creepy haunted house period piece. Built 3 story Victorian mansion.

Promotes brutal violence, a story with a woman lead that isn’t about getting a guy (fuck that shit, del Toro says).

del Toro finishes the panel by asking the audience: Hellboy 3? Awesome response. At the Mountains of Madness? Enthusiastic response, but not as big as Hellboy 3, which is semi-disappointing; we want H.P. Lovecraft and Cthulhu, people. Educate yourself. Legendary is listening. Perhaps both are coming.

Next up is Blizzard Entertainment and Legendary’s….Warcraft. Duncan Jones, the director, arrives on stage. Wants to show how the world falls into conflict between orcs and humans on Azoroth.

The movie is coming in March 2016, and Duncan compares world building to Lord of the Rings and technology to Avatar. The sneak peek looks pretty cool, though I’m exactly the wrong audience for it.

Tull returns to promise that he’ll talk with Guillermo after Pacific Rim 2…and also has something else kicking around:

Skull Island. We see a stormy sea, the Skull island, and a massive ape pounding his chest and roaring. Yup: King Kong is coming back, folks. Um, Legendary came to play this year.

An avid BBC fan, when SHERLOCK came out my initial reaction was to die of excitement before ever even watching a single episode. Then I watched it. Then I became obsessed. It’s brilliant, clever, interesting, full of talented – and beautiful! – actors, it’s superbly written with great characters and character development, and every episode is unique and charming. How could anyone not love SHERLOCK? Moreover, how could anyone watch ELEMENTARY when SHERLOCK is out there?

And then I watched ELEMENTARY. And then, again, I became obsessed.

ELEMENTARY, like SHERLOCK, is full of intrigue and mystery and some quite fabulous characters. Set in modern-day New York with a former-doctor-turned-sober-companion-Watson, it’s a well-known fact that the creators of ELEMENTARY worked extremely hard in differentiating themselves from SHERLOCK and they did quite an extraordinary job, really.

While ELEMENTARY is designed for primetime American TV and has many of the same qualities of an CSI-type show, it captures the charisma of Holmes and Watson at their best. Combining the classic elements of the Sherlock Holmes we all know and love, he’s been through hell and back fighting addiction and is now sober working as a consulting detective with the NYPD.

There’s no doubt that SHERLOCK is truly a gift to television, but lately I’ve actually started to wonder if I don’t like ELEMENTARY’s Holmes/Watson more. (For confusion’s sake, here on out they will be referred to by the actors last names – SHERLOCK’s Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, ELEMENTARY’s Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu – because it’s super difficult however way you spin it.)

I do quite firmly believe that SHERLOCK is a superior show in most aspects: the stories, the acting and the technical merits are all far above that of ELEMENTARY, however in getting to know Miller and Liu, I find their relationship much more satisfying than that of Cumberbatch and Freeman.

SHERLOCK’s entire schtick is that Cumberbatch is the smartest man in the world and Freeman is just his sidekick; Cumberbatch solves the case, Cumberbatch is endearingly self-involved, Cumberbatch walks all over Freeman (and Freeman lets him), Cumberbatch is oblivious and for all intents and purposes, pretty douchey. We see and understand that he cares about Freeman and his “high functioning sociopathy” is quite a key point in all of this (though I tend to believe the Aspergers theory more than the sociopath one). But the point is, we the audience forgive him because he’s a genius and it’s clear that he loves Freeman!…right?

ELEMENTARY, however, actually shows Miller loving Liu. Not in any romantic way (sit down quietly, JohnLock shippers. SHERLOCK’s gay love is not the point of this post!), but in a true sense of the word friendship. While Miller is of a genius-level IQ, he doesn’t rub it in Liu’s face every episode, or consistently make sure that everyone knows that he’s so clever and they’re so idiotic.

Miller treats Liu as an equal, teaches her (HER!) how to be a consulting detective, gives her lessons and reading and even gives her cases to figure out herself. When she needs help, he doesn’t put her down, but he helps her find the answer for herself. When she goes through a crisis, he is there for her. Miller offers to accompany Liu to visit a grave of someone she knew, he sits and keeps her company with her when she’s upset, he reaches out and talks to her about her feelings, and more importantly, his.

Yes, again, I understand about the sociopathy and Cumberbatch makes quite a few enormous sacrifices for Freeman, but do those life-threatening experiences excuse his crass behavior every other minute of every other day? Cumberbatch and Freeman have some sort of bond, some sort of love between them that doesn’t make sense and that we accept whole-heartedly because of their undeniable chemistry, but looking at their friendship outside of Moriarty’s ultimatum or Magnussen’s threats, Cumberbatch’s Sherlock is seemingly incapable of showing any real affection to Freeman’s Watson. All this being said, there was huge progress in Season 3 because of the nature of the story arc, but it just felt as if it wasn’t enough; especially when I have an equally clever and exciting, really beautiful Miller/Liu relationship to compare it to.

Is ELEMENTARY a better show? No. Do I like it more than SHERLOCK? Hell no. But I do very much appreciate how Miller/Liu’s Holmes and Watson relationship was crafted to resemble that of a partnership and not a dictatorship. Now here’s to hoping they don’t ever ruin it* with romantic feelings and an absurd love story.

*“It” being ELEMENTARY’s Holmes/Watson. There is no arguing with JohnLock. Partially because they’re totally gay for each other, but mostly because fangirls will murder you if you try. [See Tumblr for more information. Tread carefully.]

The terms “nerd” and “fanboy” have started to lose all meaning amongst pop culture fanatics. They used to signify a certain type of person: insanely smart or ridiculously obsessed with something, but now they’ve become synonymous with “geek.” The nerds are fanboys and fanboys are geeks, and all three are something to be embarrassed about. (Apparently. I didn’t know that was a thing. Ask the normie’s.)

But way back when – a whopping 10 years ago – “nerd” and “fanboy” were two completely different brands of human. A nerd was someone “whose IQ exceed[s] his weight… The person you will one day call ‘Boss’,”* and a fanboy was “a passionate fan of various elements of geek [to be discussed momentarily] culture, but who lets his passion override social graces.”*

Nerds were known for their high intellect, glasses, suspenders and floods whereas fanboys were those socially inept, overweight dudes wearing their Dungeons and Dragon robes and sporting the ever-fashionable light sabers. But never at the same time, obviously. (Insert why-D&D/StarWars-could-never-co-exist-in-the-same-universe-fanboy-rant-here.)

So… exactly when did “nerd” and “fanboy” become the same thing?

I advocate: the Geek. If Nerd and Fanboy had a secret lovechild it would absolutely be the Geek; the bridge between the two. Here’s a great little chart* I found:

The “normie” is the average Joe (or Jane!): No particularly special technical skills, but socially successful. They can have a conversation, and come in a variety of styles from nice to douchey, to whatever else normal people are. Honestly, I’m probably the wrong lady to ask about that.

Nerds are honored with technical skills, but lack social artistry (being social is absolutely an art) and fanboys tend to have a general lack of social prowess out in the real world, but have great communication with each other (probably because they all speak Klingon instead of English.)

The poor dorks are the bastard child that no one loves; “Someone who does things that are kinda silly and not necessarily cool.”* Lezbie honest, (yes, I will continue to make as many PITCH PERFECT references as possible until the day I croak) we all know at least one dork: the guy who reads the dictionary for fun, the girl who edited her science book back in high school. Not necessarily technical, but not lacking social skills, either. Just a wee bit strange.

However, after a painful journey through the bullied and scorned, we can finally revel in the masterpiece that is the Geek. The perfect amalgamation of nerds and fanboys, with both technical and social competence, the Geeks must have gotten all the good genes from both parents.

“An outwardly normal person who has taken the time to learn technical skills. Geeks have as normal a social life as anyone, and usually the only way to tell if someone is a geek is if they inform you of their skills… A geek does not have to be smart. A geek is someone who is generally not athletic, and enjoys video games; comic books; being on the internet; etc.”*

With a deep appreciation for fanboy culture but lacking the general obsessive compulsive behavior that goes along with it (which scares everyone else off) and fairly adequate technical experience, the Geek has overtaken the social rungs of its predecessors and formed a new, all-inclusive group of misfits.

“Wouldn’t geeks be the product of normie’s and nerds, though? Why fanboys?”

Unfortunately, through our scientific testing and research we have come to find that the control group “normie” does not exhibit any of the necessary traits that are found in the Geek sub-culture, so we must exclude them in our results.

Translation: They don’t have any love or excessive excitement for video games, anime, comics, TV, etc.

The Geek sub-culture allows anyone who has even a stitch of nerd, fanboy, or [so help us] dork in them to connect and relate over our favorite hobbies and interests. Some may go a little too far (I’m looking at you, Cumberbatch fangirls) and some may not go far enough (Ian McKellan/Patrick Stewart shippers) but props go out to the Geekdom who works really hard at giving everyone an awesomely decorated place to bond and delight in our crazy.

Can you imagine the jungle gyms we’d build?!

*You can always count on Urban Dictionary. The chart was altered to include the fanboy category, and general punctuation and grammar were edited because let’s face it: Urban Dictionary is not the place for award-winning writing. http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Thanks to a few Hollywood screeners, a lot of gift cards and unemploymentmy independent nature, I’ve never watched more Oscar nominated films than this year (and I’ll pretend that matters). In this age of scrutiny, controversy and Twitter, every movie has been hated on, drug through the mud or found wanting (some more deservedly than others). In fact, each movie’s director, producers, stars, and DP’s all likely feel (DP’d) a lot like Rufus Sewell’s character at the end of (best movie of all-time contender) A KNIGHT’S TALE right now:

But for a few minutes, can we check our attitudes at the door, pump the brakes on our eternal desire to make callous judgments without knowing what the fuck we’re talking about, and just talk about the movies themselves? Can we be a mindless drone in THE LEGO MOVIE (here’s one prediction: Best Animated Film winner, 2015) and accept that everything is indeed, awesome, and relish in the fact that this was one of the best years for films in recent memory (says someone every year), and dig that people get so heated up about movies? Sit back, pop open the Andre, and I promise, I won’t say awesome again for the entirety of this post.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

5. Julia Roberts, AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY: I almost feel bad for Julia (and her painfully obvious crowns in that awesome photo), and every other incredible actor (Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Ewan MacGregor, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sam Shepard, Margo Martindale, Abigail Breslin and whatever Juliette Lewis is) that somehow got roped into the hate-filled, manipulative, WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? wannabe that is AUGUST: somewhere in Oklahoma. But then I remember how unfortunate a movie-going experience the film was, and I can’t help but be mad at them. Julia Roberts was probably the best of the bunch in a role that potentially foreshadows the next act of her career in movies (should she choose to accept it) as a real, approachable, tortured (but no less pretty) woman, finding herself back where she started (after the OCEANS movies, preggers and EAT PRAY YUCK), as the every-woman.

4. Sally Hawkins, BLUE JASMINE: The next four are fairly interchangeable (because they’re all terrific), but I’ll snub Sally Hawkins just like Cate Blanchett’s Jasmine continually snubs Hawkins’ Ginger. BLUE JASMINE is an unholy cocktail of a bunch of awful people (kinda like AUGUST and nigh every other movie that came out this year), and while Ginger screws up just as often as any of them, and you’re constantly wondering why she puts up with the mess that is Jasmine, overbearing bf Chili (Bobby Canavale, future Oscar winner in 2018) and how she keeps kids, boyfriends and a working class job together, but you never doubt how real this character is. It could’ve been a caricature, but instead, she’s heartbreaking. When Louis C.K. even treats you like shit, it’s time for a good cry.

3. June Squibb, NEBRASKA: I love June Squibb to death in Alexander Payne’s underrated NEBRASKA. Squibb is hilarious as the cranky, tough-as-hell firecracker of an 80 year old housewife, and the idea that the scene where she flashes her knickers at former would-be flames at the cemetery could be HER Oscar clip is proof that the world rules in some respect. But, the thing is, any 84 year old woman supplied with her lines would get buzz because of how startling and refreshing an image it is to see on screen. But June’s charisma and scene stealing presence is all her own.

2. Lupita Nyong’o, 12 YEARS A SLAVE: And now I regret doing rankings entirely, because things like this will happen, where I automatically become an asshole. Probably one of the cooler stories that is impossible to get tired of is Lupita Nyong’o’s casting and how she got discovered for Patsey. She was absolutely fearless and mined new depths of sorrow, and like the movie as a whole, makes you want to kill yourself. For art.

1. Jennifer Lawrence, AMERICAN HUSTLE: You either loved or hated or didn’t get AMERICAN HUSTLE, but anyone who saw it HAD to be in awe of whatever the fuck J-Law was doing on screen. In my textual fellatio/review for PopInsomniacs, this is what I said about her performance as the lunatic Rosalyn:

“Jennifer Lawrence breaks acting. She summons new depths of sheer insanity…she’s manipulative, sexy, unpredictable, dangerously naive and stupid. I found myself giggling with glee at each of her scenes, or the opposite: just speechless and giddy with her surely Oscar nominated performance. The only thing scarier than her character is how talented this woman is, and she’s still just 23 years old. Watch her song-and-dance routine to Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die” and try to keep your head from exploding.”

Without question, watching her performance was the most fun I had a movie theater in 2013, and sometimes, I like enjoying myself at the movies.

NEXT: Best Supporting Actor, ranked in order of attractiveness.