The fourth annual LA Eigafest came to the Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood this past weekend, and brought with it a slew of recent Japanese releases, many carefully selected to appeal to the American masses. Of course, most of those in attendance throughout the weekend were either critics or die-hard eiga fans to begin with (eiga translates to film), but either way, there was a lot to chew on over the three days.

The festival kicked off with the buzziest project of all: the international premiere of Lupin the Third, the first live action theatrical adaptation of perhaps Japan’s most beloved manga character since 1974. That would be Lupin, or Arsene Lupin III, who’s been around since 1967, created by fan favorite artist Monkey Punch.

It’s clear that Lupin’s long-awaited arrival in the form of a Japanese blockbuster is a big deal, so it was a coup for us to see it one day before the rest of Japan, with director Ryuhei Kitamura, producer Mataichiro Yamamoto and star Meisa Kuroki in attendance. In fact, I felt guilty being among the crowd and the red carpet, invited to a party that I couldn’t hope to completely understand. My only experience with Lupin came in the form of Hiyao Miyazaki’s first film, The Castle of Cagliostro (a singular cinematic experience). It was like when you were invited to a Halo-themed birthday party in high school, and you had never played Halo. Or at least, that was me in high school.

Lupin was “mission: impossible” to make into a live action film, but when Yamamoto called Kitamura, the Versus and Godzilla: Final Wars director who now makes his home in Los Angeles, and told him to come home and direct Lupin, his reaction was, erm, visceral: “What the fuck!”

He was shocked, enthused, thought it would never happen, but it’s clear that Ryuhei would follow producer Yamamoto into a fire if he asked him to (and was paid enough for it). As the screen crackled to life, Kitamura gave the sold-out crowd a warning: “Be prepared. It’s gonna be crazy.”

That’s certainly the right adjective to describe what amounts to a Oceans Eleven/Italian Job back and forth of heists, sketchy allegiances and slapstick comedy (there’s even some Fast & The Furious in there). Lupin is the kind of action caper that includes a slo-mo fight scene with a woman in black leather in a parking lot, the sprinklers undoubtedly activated because deeply enmeshed into the sprinklers DNA/code of honor is a deep-seated desire to get hot chicks wet (so they can do the hair flip thing), because sprinklers are always sprinkling on hot women in leather in brawls. That’s what they do. That’s all they do.

After Fujiko Mine (Meisa Kuroki) and her comrades do the heavy lifting to steal some gold coin of Agrabah or whatever, Lupin rides a motorcycle in the parking lot underneath it, blows the ceiling to smithereens, and blazes off with the coin, wasting all of Fujiko’s impressive acrobatics. Oh, Lupin. Lupin’s a part of the team (The Works, a top-secret organization of thieves, led by aged father figure Dawson), but is a lone wolf who plays by his own rules™. It seems to be working for him, until Michael Lee (Jerry Yan) preys on his one weakness: Fujiko, and steals the coin back by threatening Fujiko’s life. Lupin, Fujiko, Michael and the rest of The Works team meet at Dawson’s palatial estate to eat, drink and be snobby thieves with other snobby thieves. During the party, Dawson steps down and introduces us all to the film’s maguffin, after a heavy dose of Exposition: the necklace of Cleopatra. It’s missing a ruby, of course, which when placed in the necklace, will likely lead to a portentous “let our powers combine” Captain Planet-y montage of epic proportions.

Michael, the trickster/one of confusing loyalties, steals the necklace, and catches the attention of Interpol and the maybe not-so-hapless Inspector Zenigata (Thor‘s Tadanobu Asano), who has been on The Works’ trail for months/years/forever (he wouldn’t exist without Lupin). If Team Rocket was followed incessantly by a cop who slurped noodles as if he’s impervious to MSG, that would be Inspector Zenigata, who’s one of the most joyous parts of the ensemble, mostly to see him yell, be frustrated and stomp around. Like the Terminator and the sprinkler, that’s all he does. But it works, and so does Lupin, in spite of Lupin and company eventually having to break into the world’s toughest building to crack™ (the Ark, which reminds me of a Rubiks Cube tinged Sinking Ship Parking Garage in Seattle), with a team of specialized experts™, to take down Pramuk (Nirut Sirichanya), an underworld kingpin™. While Lupin is a part of The Works, this film’s synopsis reads like The Works option at Restaurant Cliche (dibs on that business venture).

And it works because it’s fun, and that’s mostly because they’ve cast the project so well. Lupin’s band and their dynamic leap off the page of the manga and really capture the spirits of these characters.

Fujiko is the sexy femme fatale who manipulates Lupin for her own goals, forever promising a kiss, and never relinquishing one, Lupin as weak to her wiles the 400th time as the first, and it’s hard to blame him thanks to the bewitching Miesa Kuroki.

Shun Oguri IS Lupin, born to grin, run around, flub with Fujiko and wear yellow ties. He’s the “world’s greatest thief” even when it appears that he’s the fourth most valuable member of his own team; that’s the joke. But it’s Goemon (Go Ayano), the overly stoic sword master, who steals the show the moment the dumpling loving fiend appears, with every deadpan line, or tic, or badass stunt. He’s Drax the Destroyer with a sword, whereas Lupin’s best friend Jigen (Tetsuji Tamayama) is his foil, a gun-toting superhero, and the two clash over their dueling weapons of choice and their anachronistic styles and personalities, the yin and yang of Lupin’s sidekicks.

After the film, there was a Q&A, in which producer Yamamota was asked: Why now, after all these years? The answer amounted to technology catching up with the concept. It almost took too long, as the movie mostly feels like a rehash of the heist genre, with altogether too many bullets (gunfire in Japanese movies sound like American bullets on steroids), but its heart is in the right place, with some fantastic nods to the original series (like say, a yellow car full of money) and some genuine belly laughs. In the reception afterward, it was clear that fans of the popular hero were elated and sated. It certainly helped that the evening was topped off by Sapporo and Shochu (a Japanese spirit made from sweet potatoes) at an open bar, accompanied with sushi, katsu, teriyaki, fried chicken and new friends.

Hopefully Lupin the Third will make some friends of its own when the movie comes state side next year. Either way, we can expect a Part 2 and possibly a Part 3: after Kitamura finishes his Constantine/Blade-like project in the U.S., there are already talks for the director to take back up the reins of the burgeoning Lupin franchise (he also admitted that there will be a Versus 2). It seems that while it took Lupin more than forty years to make it onto the big screen, he sure as hell won’t relinquish the spotlight anytime soon. That certainly sounds like Lupin.

Hayao Miyazaki is a pillar of film, no matter how you look at it, and his accomplishments stand up to anyone in the medium, animated or live action. His Studio Ghibli films are one of the most important and revered cultural institutions of Japan, where he stands alongside and in equal stature to GODZILLA, who cuts a fairly imposing figure.

While he’s shamefully only won 1 Academy Award (for SPIRITED AWAY in 2001) and nominated for two others (THE WIND RISES and HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE), Miyazaki’s work has been universally beloved for decades. No director has a more consistently excellent reputation and track record (Studio Ghibli has proven more stable than even Pixar of late), and with THE WIND RISES, he finished on a high note, announcing his retirement from directing feature length films.

I’m no Miyazaki expert, and there’s an embarrassing number of his films that I haven’t seen, which is what I’m aiming to rectify in this forthcoming series. What follows is a trip down memory lane, and a journey through Miyazaki’s filmography, from his first, to the last.

LUPIN III: THE CASTLE OF CAGLIOSTRO (1979)

In 1967, Kazuhiko Kato created the comic book series LUPIN III under the incredible pen name of Monkey Punch. The manga creation about a sly playboy thief would sweep Japan, and lead to films, animated series, innumerable manga spin-offs, CD’s, video games, even a musical.

Perhaps the most famous of which was Hayao Miyazaki’s directorial debut, THE CASTLE OF CAGLIOSTRO, coming from a script written by Miyazaki and Haruya Yamazaki. The results are wacky, all over the place and pure bliss for a viewer.

Lupin (not Remus) and Jigen, his partner in crime (PIC), are up to no good, having stolen more money than you’ve ever seen from a casino and stuffed it in their cramped, but inexplicably resilient, yellow car. It’s dangerous how much money they have:

While driving, Lupin realizes the cash they stole is counterfeit, or “goat bills,” very good fakes. From this leap, it’s clear Lupin is an experienced burglar, and an expert driver. Instead of perhaps peddling the Monopoly money elsewhere, they empty the entire load while cruising on a bridge:

Remember, he’s the driver.

I feel like that would cause a lot of accidents/deaths.

Then, for no real reason, Lupin decides to drive to Cagliostro, the headquarters of the goat money. I guess he has another score in mind, and so they just drive. I’d have assumed that they originated in Japan, considering the creators behind the film, but Lupin is influenced by Arsene Lupin, a fictional French thief, so perhaps they were coming from the European continent after all. Either way, they quickly arrive at Cagliostro, a small and secluded island.

As far as I know Cagliostro is not a real place, so it’s presumably a fictional island, most likely off the coast of Italy. The Count Cagliostro may very well be fashioned after the enigmatic Alessandro Cagliostro, the alias of Giuseppe Balsamo, an Italian adventurer and occultist.

The gypsy man was even brought to life on celluloid previously, with a little help from…

When Lupin and Jigen arrive on the island, quickly they’re embroiled in one of the most ridiculous car chase scenes you’ll ever see, one that sets the tone for the entire madcap comic-book style adventure to come. Lupin and Jigen are driving aimlessly, until a runaway bride zooms by in another vehicle, clearly trying to make a break for it. A bunch of black people with nefarious mustaches are in pursuit (clearly all the same person/drawing), and Lupin, aiming for some tail, tries to save the woman.

In so doing, we learn that we’re entering a physics-altering reality, albeit an awesome one:

At one point, the bride is knocked out at the wheel, yet manages to stay in her lane on a winding road high up in the mountains for far too long. At another point, Lupin drives their car  UP A COMPLETELY VERTICAL HILL (see below). It naturally ends with Lupin grasping the bride in his arms, dangling from a cliff, after using his utility belt and grappling hook. Lupin is Batman.

Princess Clarisse, the bride, justifiably freaks out when she wakes up to find herself being held by a stranger from great and terrifying heights. But, when more men arrive to capture Clarisse, they succeed, taking her away. But she accidentally left a ring with Lupin, one displaying the crest of her family and giving Lupin a new mission: to save Clarisse from the clutches of Count Cagliostro, who aims to unite two ancient families to uncover a storied treasure. A treasure that comes from within the awesome, beautiful, downtrodden Castle:

For the opening couple scenes, Lupin and Jigen appear to be on equal footing in their villainous partnership, both bickering with one another. Once at the Castle, Jigen and Goemon the samurai (who appears out of nowhere to lend a helping sword) have transitioned completely into sidekick/thankless side character.

At the Castle, we meet the Big Bad, the toad-faced Count Cagliostro, a creepy criminal mastermind in charge of the biggest counterfeiting operation in the world, forcing Clarisse to marry him. Naturally, he only speaks out of one side of his mouth (the evil side).

He’s like a French/Italian version of Shooter McGavin and Rob Lowe’s character in WAYNE’S WORLD, with a hint of pedophile for good measure. Plus, he wears a Ram mask:

He also has an absolutely terrifying butler/#2/Jeeves/Igor henchman in Jodo, some nightmarish Joker/Egghead hybrid. Somehow Jodo maintains absolute creeptastic levels, even though he constantly fails to corral and defeat Lupin:

Jodo’s on the right.

Clarisse is your typical damsel in distress Princess, with a definite Rapunzel/Sleeping Beauty/locked away in the top tower vibe going on. She also has quite the crush on Lupin, her would-be savior. Turns out Lupin met her when she was a little girl…adding a disturbing layer to their relationship. Thankfully, Miyazaki doesn’t make it romantic.

Lupin’s task to rescue the princess and find the treasure isn’t easy, as Cagliostro has “more security than your average Count.” That means lasers, an intricate system of tunnels, waterways, trap doors, secret passages, catacombs filled with cadavers, peephole paintings and a confusing and needlessly extravagant set up of gears and springs and mechanisms befitting the inside of a watch somewhere underneath the castgle. This leads to many an awesome sequence within them.

Cup O Noodles for the Inspector

The movie is loaded with slapstick thanks to perpetually red-faced Inspector Keibu Zenigata, a semi-hapless Interpol agent obsessed with tracking down and capturing Lupin. He’s so over the top, that the top is a dot to him. At one point he even says, “We don’t need you Orientals.” Nice.

Babe.

The underrated MVP of the proceedings is Fujiko (above). With a name like that, she’s naturally white with blonde hair. She’s basically Black Widow, a sexy and badass spy working undercover trying to expose the Count’s dastardly deeds, until Lupin blows up her slow play in about 12 minutes. She saves his ass multiple times anyways, and clearly is the one who truly has Lupin’s heart.

CASTLE OF CAGLIOSTRO is filled with idiosyncracies, maybe mistakes, that make the movie even more enjoyable. Lupin and Figen’s car changes color at night. Same with Clarisse’s hair. It’s supposed to indicate a difference in lighting…but it’s a ridiculous transformation.

Lupin climbs to the top of a castle with his bare hands on multiple occasions, proof that the slits in between bricks and stone are big enough for an expert thief. More impressively, he also RUNS STRAIGHT DOWN A CASTLE and practically reaches Mach III in so doing, and jumps farther and with greater alacrity than Super Mario. There’s also a tremendous scene where he swims miraculously against a torrential current in a sequence that would make Aquaman jealous:

The movie fits A LOT OF PLOT in 102 minutes. Apparently, the Count’s family and his counterfeiting ring has been behind the Great Depression, Napoleon’s rise and practically every devastating event in history. Lupin gets shot (the one time out of a million shots that the villains hit anyone) and actually has amnesia for a time. 10 years previously, Lupin met Clarisse, her dog and some servant in Cagliostro. This was before her parents died in a fire that destroyed the castle. It’s a lot to keep up with. The Count has a cadre of bullet proof, armored freaky ninjas with metal spiked gloves, who also wear black KKK robes during the Count and Clarisse’s insane wedding.

The Inspector, stumbling upon one of the biggest criminal rings in the world’s history, seeks help from the UN to bust the Count, but it’s clear they’re either in on it, or unwilling to put forth the effort to catch him (or perhaps it’d cripple the European economy). This leads to one of the best lines of cinematic history, when a UN adviser frustratingly points out: “We have a sticky widget here.” Indeed.

The Count also has some seriously rape-y lines, like when he promises Fujiko that “I’ll interrogate you in my chambers later!” He also threatens the ratings system, like when he yells, “Don’t move you meddling bitch!” Whoa now.

While rough around the edges, with some dated touches and lines that remind you of what your racist Great Uncle will say after a couple PBR’s at a barbecue, THE CASTLE OF CAGLIOSTRO is a delightful romp, with whispers of the beautifully simple and elegant animation style characteristic of a Miyazaki film, and a story with heart and humor. It’s more reliant on a standard villain and action than what will become Miyazaki’s calling card, and it’s far from subtle. The silly, saccharine sweet ending shows Miyazaki’s true colors. It also likely rubbed Monkey Punch fans the wrong way, as Lupin is typically portrayed as far more of a cynical playboy than what he turns out to be in this film.

After saving her bacon, Clarisse tries to go for the kiss, but Lupin turns away, instead kissing her on the cheek, telling her “she just got into the light;” you “don’t want to go into the darkness” by saddling up with a “ne’er do well like me.” I feel like if you call yourself a “ne’er do well,” you lose your street cred, but it’s another hilarious moment in this gleefully on-the-nose film.

When Lupin laughably/adorably points out that he has indeed secured a “precious and priceless” treasure, and he’s referring to Clarisse’s heart, it’s hard not to snort. But even so, CASTLE OF CAGLIOSTRO is the first step in Miyazaki’s journey into becoming a precious and priceless treasure to all who have seen his films.

Let me leave you with another classic moment, in which Lupin becomes a rocket ship, landing neatly in their speeding vehicle, his pants burning up in the process:

NEXT UP: NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY OF THE WIND (1984)