Kevin Smith and the elementary school bus taught me how to swear.

I was twelve years old when I stumbled upon a Red Band trailer for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back online, and guffawed like an idiot at all the dick and fart jokes, pretending like I knew what half of the sex talk meant. I immediately researched Kevin Smith, and watched all of his movies in quick succession. While American Pie was the first R-rated movie with tits and sex talk in it that I watched, Kevin Smith’s films were the ones that changed my life.

While I’m probably guilty of some revisionist history, I credit X-Men with getting me into comic books and informing the nerdy pop-culture consumer that I am today. But, if it weren’t for Kevin Smith’s jaw-dropping and incredible “Quiver” arc on Green Arrow, a book I never would’ve got if not for knowing him from his movies, I might never have stuck with comic books, potentially robbing me of discovering some of the most essential facets of my personality and life.

I loved Clerks., even though almost all of the adult humor was over my head. Chasing Amy was boring and uncomfortable to me, until I watched it ten years later and it blew my mind. Mallrats may have made me laugh the most of all of his movies. Dogma only got better every time I watched it. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is probably my favorite film to rewatch and quote. I really love Clerks 2, as it’s the only movie of his I watched at the correct age, and the emotional impact came in waves because of it. 

Each film I’ve anointed as Kevin Smith’s best at various portions of my life, as View Askew universe became the first film universe that I became obsessed with, before Marvel’s Cinematic Universe overshadowed everything else. Kevin Smith’s observations on life, Star Wars and his realistic dialogue spoke to me as a geek and a teen who didn’t know what the hell was going on, but loved jokes revolving around pussy, and people talking about pussy, before I was even close to sniffing some myself (pardon that image). In many ways, Kevin Smith’s movies replaced talking about girls with anyone, be it my friends or family or cool Uncle, as I wasn’t comfortable talking about them with anyone until I was well in high school. This likely explains a lot.

Kevin Smith’s unapologetic, uncensored brand of humor influenced my own. I wanted to talk like I didn’t give a shit, I wanted to swear, while also interspersing a morsel of truth and wisdom. I hate all the BS that comes out of people’s mouths. Smith’s characters spoke the truth, and their mind, no matter how idiotic.

Kevin Smith introduced me to dick jokes and to comic books, and that’s why some small part of me has never recovered from the Jersey Girl and Cop Out stage of Kevin Smith’s filmmaking career. Of course, until recently, neither had Kevin Smith.

Which is why I was so revitalized and delighted to see one of my heroes inspired again. At his annual Hall H panel, Kevin Smith regaled us all with stories (he’s one of the best storytellers we have; not many can be as hilarious with a mic in his hand) from his career and life, telling us all the gruesome details (I feel like I’ve heard about every sexual experience he’s ever had). He got me more jazzed for J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: Episode VII than I thought I would ever be. Yes, Smith has a tendency to over-hype things (Affleck’s Batman suit), but he knows Star Wars, and the amount of joy he had at visiting the set speaks to how well Abrams has done in crafting the Star Wars universe, and I trust Kevin Smith’s opinion. He cried when he stepped on the deck of the Millenium Falcon, and became a kid again, and it seems like that foul-mouthed, enthusiastic kid is still inside Kevin Smith, and is ready to bring that brand back into cinemas.

He quit movies for awhile, disillusioned by the business, until stumbling upon the story of Tusk on his Smodcast. He was literally writing and creating the weird horror movie on air, as the creative process consumed him and Scott Mosher. Smith realized he needed to write and make this movie, and that all he needed was to make the small indie films that he made his name with again to be happy. The result is Tusk, a film that stars Michael Parks, Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment and Genesis Rodriguez, and according to Smith, is a super weird movie, but also the best one he’s ever done.

Smith’s already planning a True North trilogy of horror movies, which kicks off with Tusk, follows with a PG-13 movie called Yoga Hosers (with a female lead who kicks ass, something he’s wanted to do since having a daughter) and finishes with something called Moose Jaws. The latter is exactly what it sounds (Jaws with a moose), and had me giggling for hours after. I can’t say I wouldn’t rather see Smith do comedies, but I’m also intensely interested in this burgeoning micro-budget horror phase of his, precisely because he’s so absorbed and excited about it, and his enthusiasm is as infectious as a stink palm. Red State wasn’t bad, and a world where Kevin Smith is making horror movies involving walri and meese is a far better world than one without those things. Welcome back, Kevin Smith.

Toward the end of this rejuvenating evening with Kevin Smith, he unveiled the first trailer for Tusk (see below), coming September 19th. I’ll be there.

On this “holiday,” that’s grown in meaning and popularity thanks to the promise of a bajillion new movies, I thought I’d riff on STAR WARS.

Like many in my generation, my first exposure to STAR WARS came with the re-releases in the 1990’s, preparing the world for EPISODE ONE. After watching and loving and being enthralled with the original trilogy…I launched myself into the Expanded Universe, devouring Rogue Squadron, Young Jedi Knights, the Jedi Academy trilogy, The Bounty Hunter and Timothy Zahn’s brilliant Thrawn trilogy. I think my addiction ended sometime during the New Jedi Order series, though not because I didn’t like it. I just moved on to different universes, and different book series, as STAR WARS not only made me love movies, but the Expanded Universe is what really got me into reading. And for that, I’ll be eternally grateful.

STAR WARS was one of the first things I was truly nerdy about, as I found room for Yoda and Han Solo alongside Shawn Kemp and Jay Buhner as idols, fitting in STAR WARS books with baseball and basketball practice. My first little league team name was Jedi Knights. Needless to say, we weren’t very good. I remember during the first All-Stars practice in 8th grade, my rival SS who was entirely too likable told the squad STAR WARS was his favorite movie (I’m not sure if he meant the first one, the franchise as a whole, or if he did say a specific episode). I said AMERICAN PIE to get laughs and garner popularity. I was a douche, and a liar, because I remember thinking to myself that Tim took my favorite movie.

I remember watching EPISODE ONE at the recently renovated Cinerama in Seattle, back when a visit to Seattle was a rare and exciting treat, for my friend Jacob’s birthday. Afterwards, I was excited about Senator Palpatine and seeing his transformation into Emperor Palpatine. For whatever reason, Jacob shot me down, calling me an idiot for thinking that would happen. It’s one of the more angry, perplexing, yet absolutely fortified memories of my life. What was he talking about? I honestly didn’t hate the movie when I first saw it. It wasn’t until I became older, smarter (not really) and more cynical, that I grew to loathe the Phantom Menace and everything it represented, though I’ll admit to deriving some satisfaction and joy from the rest of the trilogy. But it obviously wasn’t the same, not even close, and I think we all breathed a sigh of relief when it was over.

Now…it’s back, with Disney, Kathleen Kennedy and J.J. Abrams around to bring it into fruition. And…

I have no idea what to expect with EPISODE VII. I’m a huge J.J. Abrams fan, as LOST and ALIAS forever transformed the way I watched TV, and the kind of shows I watched. For my money, the first STAR TREK is one of the best blockbusters of all-time. But is the right person for STAR WARS? Is there a right person for STAR WARS? It rubs me (and everyone) the wrong way that they’re ignoring the EU, since the Thrawn trilogy just makes too much sense as inspiration for these three films.

While I’m as disappointed as anyone by the lack of ethnic and gender diversity with the announced cast, I expect the final ensemble to better reflect a more balanced galaxy far, far away (it better). Bring on Lupita. But I was impressed with all the young talent Abrams has cobbled together. I don’t know Daisy Ridley, but she looks the part of a Solo/Organa daughter, and certainly got my attention with this short film:

Adam Driver has one of the more enigmatic, unique and interesting screen presences on TV. GIRLS has all kinds of problems…but his character is fascinating, thanks to his performance. I wasn’t a fan of INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS, but Oscar Isaac is going to win one of the very awards he may as well have been named after someday (unless STAR WARS ruins his career). John Boyega was terrific in ATTACK THE BLOCK, and is an awesome choice to headline the cast. And Domhnall Gleeson may be the guy I like the most of all of the young guns, since he’s just so charming and likable and funny. And then we get to Max von Sydow?! Andy Serkis?! Are you kidding me. Fucking sweet.

I can’t help but be caught up in it all, and speculate over what characters they’ll play, whether they’re Sith, Jedi, evil, good, both, alien, human, etc., while choosing to hope the original heroes are mostly background, supporting players there to help shepherd a new generation.

STAR WARS remains a part of me…and even if these future films blow…it always will. People love to complain about George Lucas, and what’s become of the STAR WARS universe since the original trilogy, but to me, it still doesn’t take away or tarnish my childhood. I will always love Chewy, I’ll always fantasize about Princess Leia and being a Jedi, and I’ll always want to be Harrison Ford. Well, that Harrison Ford.

And that’s what I choose to think about on May 4th (and not the below image). May the 4th be with you all.