During this last watch-through of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (yes, this was Buffy-binge #8) I really had a wonderful appreciation of all the speeches that happened over the course of those glorious seven seasons. There were some funny ones, some touching ones, some angering ones and because I spend way more time on Buzzfeed than I’ll ever admit, I decided to do one more BtVS ranking of all the best ones. Below is a comprehensive list of the top 25 BtVS wordsmithings. When necessary they’ve been edited together to exclude interrupting dialogue, or little snippets that were not wholly necessary to the point of the speech. A few had to have minimal lines of the opposing dialogue and those are marked (in parenthesis). Good luck, and I’d grab a box of tissues if I was you.

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25. I’d shame myself forever if I left this little blurb off the list because the fact is, this was the most uncomfortably erotic speech in the entire show (although that balcony scene at the Bronze in season 6… Don’t act like you don’t know exactly which one I’m talking about. ‘Cause Gawddamn.) You couldn’t stop squirming and blushing and looking away and peeping through your fingers the entire time that Faith/Buffy/Bodyswap inched closer and closer to… the champagne. But srsly, name me one person who didn’t love this scene. Go on. I’ll wait.

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24. This one surprised me being so low on the list. It was one of my favorite episodes, yet the end speech was a little lack-luster compared to some of the other hunkers on the list. It’s still touching, but not quite the tear jerker without having watched the entire episode first.

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23. The first time we get a little sassy-Willow speech. It was not to be trifled with nor ignored. Poor Giles and Angel got scolded.

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22. Our first intimate encounter with the self-righteous side of our slayer. Basically, if you can get through this speech without wanting to slap her indignant face, you’re in good shape. If you can’t… Just stop watching the show. (But really, this speech was great.)

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21. This was actually one of my least favorite speeches in the show because Buffy’s ego is the size of Carrot Tops’ hair, but it still serves to illustrate a good point: The rules and laws of keeping balance between good and evil are Buffy’s, and Buffy’s alone. We’ve known it the entire show, but it hasn’t truly been tested in a few seasons. It was a good way to start the finale season by getting back to the basics.

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20. Again, with the Willowtude. For a brief moment we catch a glimpse of her power and the woman she’s still turning into: powerful and resolute.

No good GIF of BossWillow immediately available. Sad face.

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19. This. For how little we saw of Mr. Travers, he sure made a huge impact on the fandom. My only real problem is that we didn’t see him again (until he got blowed up, anyway). Any communication between Buffy and The Watchers’ Council was perfect, and this speech was even doubly more perfect. I’m still dreaming of a Watchers’ Council spinoff…

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18. This episode. This speech. This everything. We saw little bits of William (and William the Bloody) here and there throughout the series, but this episode was wonderful. It not only gave us more insight into William as a human, but also into what helped turn him into the monster we first met back in Season 2. Not to mention the chemistry (or, as some argue, sexual tension) between James Marsters and D.B. Woodside was phenomenal.

Spike, 7×17/Lies My Parents Told Me: I wasn’t talking to you. I don’t give a piss about your mum. She was a slayer. I was a vampire. That’s the way the game is played. She knew what she was signing up for. (Well, I didn’t sign up for it.)  Well, that’s the rub, innit? You didn’t sign up for it. (…She was my world.) And you weren’t hers. Doesn’t that piss you off? I know slayers. No matter how many people they’ve got around them, they fight alone. Life of the chosen one. The rest of us be damned. Your mother was no different. (No, she loved me.) But not enough to quit, though, was it? Not enough to walk away– For you. I’ll tell you a story about a mother and son. See, like you, I loved my mother. So much so I turned her into a vampire, so we could be together forever. She said some nasty bits to me after I did that. Been weighing on me for quite some time. But you helped me figure something out. You see, unlike you, I had a mother who loved me back. When I sired her, I set loose a demon, and it tore into me, but it was the demon talking, not her. I realize that now. My mother loved me with all her heart. I was her world.

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17. Firstly, did anyone else love how Spike was there when her mom found out about her? No? Just me? This entire scene was so masterfully conceived – a coming out that didn’t allow for a sit-down-show-and-tell, but rather an in-your-face-can’t-talk-gotta-go-kick-some-demon-ass where Buffy has to physically push her mother off of her so she can leave the house… Yowza. This entire sequence brought even more tension to already horrifying situation.

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16. Spike and Riley’s chemistry was unbelievable at times, and who didn’t love watching the two of them fight over Miss Summers? We’d been watching Spike pine and try to forget his feelings for B for a long time by the time episode 10 happened, but the moment that he confesses – out loud – to Riley – that he’s into Buffy, there’s a beauttiful moment of vulnerability that the two doomed fellas share that just heartbreaking. And maybe a little sexy. Maybe.

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15. Anya had quite a few great words to share over the course of the show. This speech in particular was something the fans adored. It was yet another layer on top of the foundation Anya laid out in “The Body” where she’s slowly starting to become more and more human, and appreciating and admiring their strength (against her better judgment).

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14. We already knew Angel was leaving the show for his spin-off, but having such an exquisite and delightfully maniacal villain speak the truth neither Buffy or Angel wanted to hear was the perfect push out the door.

Unfortunately GIFs of The Mayor during S3 are scarce, so here’s this instead.

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13. This little dialogue was such a beautiful precursor to the horror of Xander’s plight that followed mere minutes after. Poor Xand.

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12. Anyone who can watch such a young, babyfaced Buffy crying about how she doesn’t want to die at 16 without bawling themselves is dead inside.

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11. Spike had some great speeches over the course of the show. Some really, really great speeches. I’d be the worst fan in the history of fandom if I excluded his dark, twisted jab at Buffy during an all-time favorite, “Fool for Love.” The editing of this scene, cutting between Nikki Wood and Buffy with the voiceover of Spike taunting Buffy as he explained how he killed Wood was just excellent. Bravo.

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10. We knew something was wrong. We all understood that Buffy came back from the dead and obviously she was different, but we knew there had to be something more. I just don’t think any of us really expected this. I, for one, never predicted the huge curveball that they threw at the audience: that Buffy was in heaven. A quiet and haunting one-sided-exchange between our fallen hero (see what I did there?) and the demon who would die for her helped establish the tumultuous relationship they would undertake until the end.

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9. I did not include this speech in the top ten because it was Spike [yet again] professing his love to our bubbly blond (although who didn’t love that?). I included it because it was the first time we really saw his soul since he got it back. The Spike of Season 6 was all about seducing Buffy into darkness, yet this Spike can only tell her how much he loves who she truly is. It, for me, the actual turning point of his character (although they [and more specifically, he] had quite a few tender moments throughout the season.)

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8. Buffy’s been beat the eff down. What’s she do? Get up and tell everyone how she’s gonna kick Evil’s ass. If that’s not the definition of why we love her, nothing is.

Buffy 7×10/Bring on the Night: I’m beyond tired. I’m beyond scared. I’m standing on the mouth of hell, and it is gonna swallow me whole. And it’ll choke on me. We’re not ready? They’re not ready. They think we’re gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I’m done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we’ll give ’em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now.’Cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won’t just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts one by one, until The First shows itself for what it really is. And I’ll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that’s us. Any questions?

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7. In re-watching BtVS, I had to admit that I really loved Faith in Season 7. Her time in jail and the shows’ progression and maturity over the years really did wonders to her characters’ development. She came back to SunnyD with the same bad-girl attitude with a better head on her shoulders and much more self-awareness than she had when she left, and this scene was all we really wanted over the course of the show: for our girls to realize that they were the same.

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6. Anya’s speech in “Empty Places” was a point of contention among fans for a long, long time (and probably still is). Some thought Anya was completely out of line and had no authority to pass any kind of judgment against Buffy, yet I tend to the think the opposite. This was a powerful, disturbing moment when all of her friends have turned against for the first time in a long time, and even with all her power, Buffy is powerless to change their minds. Anya always had a bit of truth serum running through her veins, and with this little bit she finally let loose and scolded Buffy for having a superiority complex.

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5. No explanation necessary.

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4. I loved this speech. It wasn’t just empowering to the Potentials in Buffyverse, but empowering to all girls and women – every girl does have the power to stand up, so why want until you’re told it’s ok? Do it the fuck now.

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3. I don’t know whether to rank this higher or lower because of Emma Caulfield’s confession that she was crying because she really had to pee and they wouldn’t let her until they finished the scene. Regardless, the emotional impact of this speech is what brought fans to their knees praising her performance until the show’s finale two years later.

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2. All these years, and Xander has always been the laughing joke, the boy with no power, the useless human whose only contribution is sarcasm. And here, in this speech that gets me misty-eyed just by reading it, he has once again proved that he is so much more. His awareness of who he is and what he does and how he helps is so far from the nerdy joker we met back in Season 1. He truly is the heart of the Scoobies. Once again, he reminds us why we, the fans, lean on him for support and strength, and at the same time gets those who hadn’t noticed before that moment to recognize the wonderful character Dawn has finally become. She started off as a brat that you’d bury 6-feet under if given the chance, yet over the first half of this season (and even some of late-6), she’s become an intelligent, confident young woman who is not only devoted to the cause but provides some of the most valuable support in the entire season.

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1. The first three years were tough for Buffy… And us. We watched her work so hard to save everyone constantly and never receive any gratitude from anyone outside her own immediate clique. Thinking she’d gone unnoticed and unappreciated all these years, “The Prom” was the most compassionate and poignant speech we had the pleasure of witnessing.

In conclusion, this.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb4rmm0l4PU&w=560&h=315]