Your tangent is wonderful, and I will copy it wholesale from now on when discussing Return of the Jedi. Especially the point-by-point defense of the Ewoks. They also had a significant home-moon advantage, as evidenced by the number of traps they had readily pre-prepared.

Maybe we should get together so we can play with each other’s action figures. You can experience the glory of everyone’s favorite Mon Calamari, and I definitely want to try out a Vader with a light-up saber. Heck yes.

I’m embarrassed about the TIE Bomber error. TIE Fighters only have one chamber between the wings, doi.

Patton Oswalt never mentioned Strong Guy in particular in his famous filibuster rant, but I could totally take things to the next level by bringing him in.

Of course, Fox owning the X-characters will be an impediment to the inevitable live-action adaptation of my action figures story, but maybe Disney will make enough off Episode VII to just buy all the other studios.

Tangent time… I will defend Return of the Jedi for as long as I’m a Star Wars fan. The emotional conflict between Luke, Darth Vader and the Emperor made the film for me, and I feel was one of the most poignant parts of the original trilogy. It’s Luke at his most confident and Vader at his most conflicted, and the latter is especially interesting, as we had rarely seen the Dark Lord question his actions and loyalties previously. I will even defend the Ewoks! Aside from the fact that I don’t really have problems with there being cute fuzzy bears in Star Wars as long they’re not detrimental to the story, there were some pretty dark undercurrents to them, as well. Let’s not forget that the Ewoks were going to eat the Rebels! I’ve heard people argue that they couldn’t buy the Ewoks taking down Imperial Walkers and Stormtroopers, but I don’t buy THEIR reasoning. For one, most of the Walkers in the film were not the behemoth AT-ATs from The Empire Strikes Back: they were AT-STs, which were smaller and obviously built with more emphasis on mobility than durability. There’s a reason the word “armored” doesn’t form a part of their acronym (AT-ST = All Terrain Scout Transport, while AT-AT = All Terrain Armored Transport). It’s also strange to me that people think that getting whacked by TWO GIGANTIC TREE LOGS isn’t going to do major damage. Also, the Ewoks had help, in the form of Chewbacca jumping into an AT-ST and totally turning the odds.

As for Ewoks taking down ‘troopers… do I even need to justify this? Most Stormtroopers can’t even aim! They CAN’T EVEN AIM.

Rant over. Onto the actual topic, which is the action figures Shadows Chewbacca is all kinds of dope, every Star Wars collection deserves at least one Ackbar action figure (*sniff* I don’t have one!), and I agree with pretty much every word you said in the article. Although that’s no ordinary TIE Fighter you’ve got there– it’s a TIE Bomber!

As for the ones I’ve got… I have an Imperial Shuttle, too, as well as Boba Fett (not sure it’s the same as yours), a little Micro Machines Tusken Raider and a considerably larger Bantha it can ride on top of, Darth Vader (with a light-up ‘saber), Yoda (I think!), another Vader that’s Barbie-sized, and the Millennium Falcon (I don’t remember if I ever fixed the hyper-drive). I also had these teeny tiny Empire Luke and Vader figures, but they vanished after a fierce battle under a bush near my house (or at least Luke did).

You should try taking all the Star Wars toys you have and make up a movie around them. You can call it something cool and original, like Return of the Jedi… with STRONG GUY. Disney owns Star Wars and Marvel now, so that movie could actually totally happen